Little Bitch

Chapter 63

I had to admit, I was a little bit jealous.

"Blake?" Lexi suddenly whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked, snuggling into her.

"I wish I could give you back your brother," my girlfriend whispered.

I froze a bit, my eyes opening. I kissed the top of her head. "You did, in a way," I admitted. "Letting me talk about him. Helping coping with losing him. You've helped giving him back to me, little by little."

Nostalgia and longing still lingered in the room, but it was bearable. I could miss my brother without it being painful now.

After all, missing him meant he was still alive in my heart.

We feel asleep in each other arms like this, Lexi's hand running over my arm that was holding onto her.

The next day was more food, and more humiliating stories.

Around dinner time, Lexi was learning how to make homemade pasta with my grandmother.

I was shooed out of the kitchen because I knocked over a bottle of expensive olive oil and made a mess.

I went in the living room. My grandfather was sitting in his usual recliner, looking over documents. I assumed his head was still a little bit at the art gallery even during the holidays.

"Your grandmother seems to like her," he suddenly said, motioning to the kitchen with his chin, not looking up from his papers.

I grinned, sitting on the couch beside him. "I'm glad. Because I like her a lot too."

Grandpa set the papers on his lap. "This is so strange, seeing you with a girlfriend here."

I shrugged. It was still a little strange for me too. "What can I say, I'm growing up."

"It wasn't about you still being a kid. You were already an old man when you were a kid." I chuckled at that remark. "I just didn't see you letting yourself be happy with someone else before."

"Wow."

"You know what I mean," Grandpa told me, patting my shoulder. "Grief did a number on you and your parents," he added gently.

"I'm getting better."

"I know. Now, we just need your parents to get better," he said and sighed.

"Do you have any idea when they should arrive?" I asked. I'd texted them earlier, but I hadn't gotten a response.

"Tomorrow, I think."

I nodded.

My grandfather went back to his paper. I went back to my thoughts.

Looking at my family, happy and celebrating together, I was slowly realizing that maybe I wasn't the only one that needed therapy. My parents definitely needed it too.

We'd been so good at being sad together.

That needed to change.

So the next day, when my mom and dad finally arrived at the house, when Christmas had actually just passed, I went right up to them and hugged them.

They kind of froze when I did. Sure, they were used to hugging in general, but I'd been still a little cold with my parents, so the sudden show of affection surprised them.

The truth was, I was kind of tired of being mad at them. It brought me nothing.

They'd made mistakes. They regretted it.

I wouldn't be able to heal from these mistakes and move past them if I stayed angry with my parents. I wasn't forgiving them for them. I was forgiving them for myself.

It was time for all of us to heal.

"Blake? Is everything alright?" my mother asked, hugging me back.

"I'm just glad you're finally here."

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Happy... Wednesday? my little Pumpkins! 

So. If you haven't seen my instagram update, last week I was kind of... well, useless, because on the Saturday I worked for 13 hours, and then on Sunday my legs basically were useless and I got a nasty cold that lasted all week (basically lost my voice). I'm still a little under the weather, and I had a bunch of things to do last weekend, so I still didn't manage to do any writing. I finally managed today to get some writing done after work. I'm very sorry for making you wait. I decided to take a week off uploading, because I was really under the weather. 

I'm still tired. I wasn't able to do any writing last week, and it annoyed me, but it's like a never ending circle. I'm tired from work, so I'm always out of it when it comes to my writing, and I have stuff planned all the time during the weekend so I barely have time to do any writing, and I would like... really enjoy it if everyone could leave me alone and let me write and sleep, and just like... stop having a thousand things planned for me every day. :') I just want to be left alone to my silly little stories. Ugh. 

So yeah. Sorry for complaining. September has gone by way too quickly. I need vacation. From work, and from social activities. I think my social battery is at minus 50. 

Alright. I shall leave now. Try to get more writing done. Hopefully this weekend I can be left alone and have the chapter up in time! :')

Love you guys! Thanks for being patient with me and understanding! <3