Clouded Hearts

Yours

After a six-hour studio session, David did what he would usually do – hang out with his friends at his brother, Justin's place. Despite the nosiness of his brother's house he always found solace. He enjoyed every minute of it, whether it was passing the blunt around or making ridiculous jokes. He knew it was the one place he would always feel welcomed.

"Yo pass me that," Justin (JayKlickin) announces, snatching a joint from one of his friends, who seems to be already high. "Nah you look like you passed cloud nine," he says to his brother, hopping on the couch right next to him.

David chuckles, lost in a trance, "Nah I'm chilling, wassup?"

"You going to Ddot's party?" As soon as Justin asked, the once noisy room became quiet.

Everyone is aware of the tension between David and Darrian. Even though David had previously told them that he had reconciled with Darrian, they didn't want to appear to be taking sides by attending the party without him.

With a strained voice, David responds "Fu... Fuc..." he speaks slowly, "Fuck are you talking about?...for sure I'm going to the party." He eventually says, plainly out of control of the words coming out of his mouth as he was high off marijuana.

"Alright then, we going tonight!" Justin announces to the rest of their friends.

~~~~

Two hours later when the weed wore off, David and his friends made their way to Darrian's party. The car trip to the party was as loud as at Justin's. However, the closer they got to the celebration, the more overwhelmed David became. In that crisis, his only option was to numb his feelings with alcohol.

"Yo give me that," he reaches for the Hennessy with his trembling hands.

He was convinced he was either going to die from his heart racing so fast or from the nauseating feeling he got from the alcohol.

"Fuck fuck fuck" he kept muttering to himself. He knew there was no way he could face Darrian, not with the way the other boy made him stupidly nervous. "Fuck."

Fortunately for him, when they arrived at the party he was already tipsy, he was just another shot from being completely drunk. He had been so consumed by the liquor that all he cared about was having fun. And despite not knowing where his friends were, he squeezes through the crowd and begins jamming to the beats. Every dance move he knew was executed on the dance floor.

As much as he wanted to have fun, he couldn't do that because he wasn't just David Reyes, he was also DD Osama. There were either girls who wanted to dance on him or people who just wanted to record him. It was while he was busy being cautious of them that he suddenly noticed Darrian was on the other side of the room.

David has always been fascinated by how easily he would find Darrian in the crowd. He was curious as to why that was..."Was it his hair?" he wondered "Or perhaps his smile? Or just his presence?"

As he attempts to approach him, he freezes at the upsetting sight of a girl dancing very intimately on Darrain. He didn't realize he was smiling until his face dropped. Under normal circumstances, David would turn away, but not this time. The boy had been so upset that he didn't realize his legs kept moving him toward Darrian.

So he snatches Darrian away from the girl dancing on him. Furiously, dragging him outside, where the winter breeze violently brushed against their faces.

"BRO LET ME GO," Darrain splutters, yanking his wrist from David. "Fuck" he curses at his wrist turning red.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" David carefully tends to Darrian's wrist, blowing on it softly like it was going to make it better.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He doesn't yank his wrist this time. "You drunk?"

"Nah I'm chilling," David chuckles, cutely caressing the wrist against his face.

"What was that about?" Darrian scoffs, enjoying David's tender side.

"What? ... Ah that?.... I didn't like the way she was grinding on you..." He chuckled... again, "I don't want you to be with other people."

"If you feel that way about some random female grinding on me," he removes his wrist from the other boy's grasp, "how do you think I feel about you and Alabama?"

And there it was, both of their worst fear – silence.

David is a coward when it comes to feelings, which was no secret, especially between them. If not for this same cowardice, their relationship, or rather friendship, would never have ended in such an awkward stage. They would never have been so far apart for nearly a year if it hadn't been for the same cowardly nature.

"Why is it that you fe-" Darrian is interrupted by David's attempt to leave. "Where the fuck are you even going in that state?"

David grunts in response, hoping that Darrian would leave him be.

'It doesn't have to be like this," Darrian continues. "You could just tell me how you feel, instead of dragging this shit out," he stops in front of David, guarding the boy from leaving.

"How do I feel?" David pushes the other boy out of the way. "Miss me with that gay shit, man," He lets out a tired sigh.

"I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, bro... why the fuck you acting all pussy and shit," Darrian says in what seems like pure irritation.

"Pussy?! You the one who got feelings for a nigga" He spat back, "the fuck do you mean "It doesn't have to be like this" You made it like this!"

"I MADE IT LIKE THIS?!" He counters in disbelief, "Nigga you kissed me first!"

"But it was you who started saying you had feelings and shit." David holds his head in his trembling hands, "FUCK, you getting me tight!"

"Nah bitch, you getting me tight... you wanna live like that? Lying to yourself? That ain't even you!"

"What the fuck do you know about me?" David aggressively hits the other teen's chest, "huh?" He hits him again. "What the fuck do you know!... you don't know shit"

The truth was that Darrian in fact knew everything about David, however, David isn't brave enough to admit his feelings. Ten months ago when he kissed Darrian simply because he looked beautiful, he became so frightened of what he might be that he thought pushing Darrian away and getting a girlfriend would flush his feelings into a realm of no existence.

However, that didn't work. He was so determined to dispel his feelings that he even attempted to manipulate himself many times. Reaffirming "nah that ain't me" and "that's fucking mook" every now and then. But the fact that he was standing in front of Darrian in a furious argument, while still being a nervous wreck, meant the same feelings he was running away from were still present. And that made him scared.

"FUCK DDOT! FUCK!" He grabs his head, breathing in slowly, "Why're you doing this shit to me!" He repeatedly hits his temple with his palms. "WHY?!"

Knowing that he was spiraling into a state of panic, Darrian calmly closes their distance, pulling the boy's hands away from his head. "David," he says softly.

Darrian addressing David by name was something David couldn't grasp. The power that simple thing had over him was so inexplicable and like always he succumbed to that calling.

"David," He calls out again, his voice filled with yearning. "Please" he holds on to the other boy.

And in a blink of an eye, David drops his head on Darrian's chest, allowing the other boy to interlace their fingers as he says, "I just wanna go home."

"So let's go... yours or mine?" Darrian asks.

"Yours."

*****

I ended this chapter awkwardly I know, but this is the best I can do... for now. Regardless, to anyone who reads this thanks and I hope you enjoyed another one of my delulu chapters 😗