Back To December

17. (Eleanor)

"LOUIS! I thought you had plans this weekend babe?"

The dog greets me at the kitchen. He doesn't growl at me but he doesn't exactly look welcoming either. I kneel down to his height.

"Where are they?" I ask as if he can answer. The dog looks towards the stairs.

I climbed the stairs knowing exactly what I'd find. I knew what I would find. I've known for about two months now. I didn't need to walk into his room the animal downstairs sealed it. Never the less I open the door and watch Louis pull on his boxers.

"Get dressed boys. I think it's time we talk. Downstairs."

This can't be happening. I really was starting to fall for Louis. I thought he was falling for me too. I had been there and helped him through his heart break. I was there when he told me everything about his relationship with the young boy. I was there when he told me he wanted a new start in a new town. We had chosen Seattle because it's where I'm from and my family is here. They've helped a lot. They gave me the house my daddy bought for me and my future family. I thought Louis was it. Daddy loves him and so does mom.

We had made trips back to Malibu to get his things from home. Slowly he moved all of his things. The last time we went to his home was when I first got suspicious. Louis had said he had to run to the store. While he was gone his friend Liam came over and gave his mom a picture saying that Harry had graduated and thought she'd like a picture of his to put next to the one of Louis in his cap and gown. After the living room was empty I opened the front door and called out to Liam.

"Oh. Hey. I didn't know you were here. Is Louis here too?" He asks nervously.

"Yeah. He went to the store hours ago."

He shakes his head and his lips are in a tight line. He looks upset and a bit sad. "Are you guys dating?"

I nod. "He didn't tell you?"

"He hasn't spoken to me since he last left."

"He said he was with you last month when we came."

He shakes his head. "I've been in Phoenix. I'm just in for Harry and Niall's graduation."

He lied. Where was he? Who was he with? I shouldn't have to question my boyfriend. I shouldn't have to wonder who he is out with but yet I find myself questioning him.

"I can see the questions in your eyes. I have some advice for you. You seem like a nice girl so get out before you get hurt. I know that Louis gave his heart away a long time ago and never got it back. I've seen so many people get hurt on their Larry train. Madison, Olivia, Taylor, Danielle, Ed, Nick...even Niall, Zayne and I because we've been in the middle of it. Although no one has been hurt worse than the pain Louis and Harry put on themselves. They don't mean to hurt each other or anyone else but love is love."

He finishes his speech and I knew what he said was the truth. Louis would always love Harry I knew that but he could love someone else too. "Maybe..but you can love more than one person."

"Maybe. Absence also makes the heart grow fonder. Also good job at moving Louis to Seattle...bet you didn't know Harry and Niall got into WSU. Great college for an aspiring author and business man. Life is funny that way innit? See ya around Eleanor."

I had watched him walk away. He warned me of this day. He warned me that they were meant to be together. I put my head in my hands as I hear their footsteps on the stairs.

"Eleanor. I..."

"Stop Louis." I hold up my hand. "How long?"

Silence. I look up and he looks scared. Scared he got caught? Scared I'm going to yell at him? Scared to talk to me?

"He's scared of hurting you." Harry whispers from beside him. "I'm sorry. I just could guess what you were thinking. I've thought that before as well."

"Please sit."

Louis sits in the recliner and Harry sits on the opposite end of the couch from me. We form a triangle of sorts.

"How long Louis?" I ask him again.

"We reconnected as friends when we saw them at the airport. A couple of months later I kissed him and things went from there."

Our eyes meet and I have to tear my eyes away from him. I put my head in my hands and wipe away the hot tears that fall. Suddenly the couch beside me dips and he pulls me into his arms.

"I never meant to hurt you El. Not intentionally. I swear." He kisses my forehead.

"Was it ever real? What I thought you began to feel for me?" I look up at his blue eyes that right now look at me with what I think is love.

"Yeah. I feel something for you El. I would have probably fallen in love with you. In fact I know I would have but..." He takes a deep breath. "When we met my heart wasn't with me. It wasn't mine to give away. Loving you. Starting a family with you. It would be as easy as breathing but it wouldn't be real. My heart would never be 100% in it because I gave my heart away a long time ago to a 5 year old boy who lived next door."

I sniffle and bury my face in his chest. "I saw it you know. When daddy gave us the house. Kids running around. A boy with brown eyes and a little girl with your blue eyes. A fluffy dog. A few cats. We could have been happy."

I pull my head back and wipe my eyes. He's smiling down at me. I look around and notice that Harry has left and taken his dog with him.

"Where...?" I begin to ask but he cuts me off.

"He went for a walk."

"It was always Harry wasn't it?" I take a deep breath. I won't cry anymore. No use crying over something you never had.

"El. Harry is...I can't describe it."

"Yes you can. You love him."

He sighs. "That doesn't make what I did right. I cheated on you El. I lied. Betrayed. You should hate me. You should hit me. You should never speak to me again."

I shake my head and smile at him sadly. "I can't do that Lou. I can't hate the man I was falling head first in love for. I just have one last question." I wait until his blue eyes look directly into mine. "What do you want Lou? Picture your future 2 years from now. 5 years. Who is it you see next to you?"

He smiles and strokes my cheek with his thumb.

He doesn't have to tell me his answer.

I kiss his cheek and he kisses mine as well.

"El."

"Lou. I'll see you around perhaps one day."