Back To December

12.

"Fucking hell Niall. How much did he drink?"

Louis? I open my eyes and stare up at him from Niall's floor.

"I don't have to answer that."

I chuckle at the Irish lad. I could imagine the smirk he had on his face.

"Yeh act like I can't see the fucking bottles. What were you thinking Niall?!"

We had only drank a bottle and maybe then a second mixed with some vodka... I wasn't sure. I wanted to forget and Niall made me do just that.

"Shut it Lou." I whisper. "At least he's here."

I knew my words would wound him. I wanted them to at least  a little bit. I wanted him to know what him leaving did to me. How it changed me.

"Let's get you home Haz. Up we go."

I feel him lift me in his arms and cradle me against his chest. I draw patterns on his arm as he walks. I pushed myself closer to him when I felt the cold night air engulf me. He set me gently in the passenger seat of his car and laid the seat back for me.

"Don't puke in my car."

I smile. "Or what?" I look over at him.

"You know what."

I roll my eyes and look out the window. The drive is short and it makes me sad because then I know he will leave me again.

"Where is she?" I whisper watching him pull into his driveway.

"No idea. We had a fight and she walked to the bus stop. Probably won't see her until it's time to go back to the apartments."

They fought? Was he used to her leaving? Duh. I answer my subconscious, they're special friends what do you think? Remember the times he left you after fucking in the bedroom. He opens my door and pulls me back into his arms.

"Stop. Put me down."

He places me on my feet and I sway a little bit. "What's wrong? You sick?"

I shake my head. "You can't just come back." I walk towards my front door and struggle with the key. He takes it out of my hand and unlocks the door.

"1. 4. 3." He whispers as I walk in the house.

"NO!" I yell throwing a pillow. He's still in the doorway.

"Yes." He doesn't yell but says it so confident.

"You left Lou. You have her now. Special friends."

He shuts the door with his foot and walks over to me. "You're my most favorite." He smiles as he places his hands on my cheeks.

"Go." My dog walks in and stares at me nudging my leg with his nose.

"No."

"GO!" I yell.

"Answer one question. Answer and I'll either forget everything we had or we can go back to before all the pain."

I stay silent but focus on his eyes. He runs his thumb along my lips and I have to resist the instinct to kiss it. I'm waiting for what seems like hours but it's only seconds.

"Have I lost you forever?"

His blue eyes are shining. Sparkling. I shake my head. He drops his hands and turns away from me. I don't want to answer his question. Answering his question means I'm setting myself up to get hurt again. He's always been my weakness. He's also always been the one to make me strong. I've missed him. I've craved him. I pushed Ed away because I didn't want to lead him on. I pushed every emotion because they would all lead back to him.

Anger.

Betrayal.

Happiness.

Sadness.

Lust.

Love.

"Lou."

He stops with his hand on the door. "I'll never forgive myself."

"I might regret this in the morning but I need it."

Before either of us speaks again I push him up against the door and kiss him hard. He bites down hard on my lip and I moan into his mouth as he slips his tongue in and pulls me closer. I tangle my fingers in his hair and jump wrapping my legs around his waist. He walks forward and sets me on the bar in the kitchen. I lift my shirt over my head and he does the same. I don't know where we throw them but he picks me up and slams me into the wall and flattens his palms against it.

"Harry." He moans rolling his hips against mine.

"Shh. Don't. Talk." I moan kissing his neck between each word and pulling his hair.

He sets me down and I quickly take off my pants and toss them on the floor jumping back onto his waist as he steps out of his jeans and walks us into my room. He lays me on the bed and I scoot myself up so my head is on the pillows. He kisses and nibbles from my hips to my chest and then my neck.

"Lou. I missed you."

"Ugh. Missed you too. So much." He groans pushing his hips to mine.

I move my hands down his back and pull off his boxers and toss them behind him as he does the same and tosses mine towards the window. I groan loudly and bite my lip as I feel his lubed finger enter me. I grind down against him and he enters a second and then a third.

"Please. Lou." I moan.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes cupping my cheek. "No regrets?"

"I love you Lou."

He sighs and buries his face in my neck as he slowly enters me. "I love you too. So so much."

He thrusts slowly into me. He shows me how much he loves me. Once we both reach our climaxes he lays on top of me letting us both catch our breath. He goes to the bathroom and grabs a towel and cleans us both up. Once he comes back I expect him to leave but instead he stands me up and pulls off the sheet that got messy and lays me back down grabbing the blanket and cuddling up to me.

"You're staying?"

He nods and kisses my hair. "If you'll keep me."

I kiss his chest as I cuddle up to him. "I'll always keep you."

Hurley chose that moment to jump onto the bed. He stared at me for a moment before laying down with his head on Louis stomach.

"I think he likes you." I smile looking up at him.

"He should. I fed him while you were gone because your mum said he looked hungry. We also played fetch and he listened to me talk. He's a great dog Haz."

"He doesn't like Ed. He tolerates the boys."

He chuckles. "Like me it seems."

I laugh. "Never realized it before but yeah...like you."

"Haz. Let's go to sleep. I'll be here in the morning."

I yawn. "Promise?"

"Promise. Bee and Optimus together again."

I smile and close my eyes. This would only be the beginning of the next confusing chapter of our story. I wish I'd known so we could skip to the happy parts.

I also wouldn't take anything back because it would change the destination.