Back To December

3.

Tommo2491: haz leave it open tonight ;)
Dotdotdothazza: ;) always

I smile as I click out of our chat. In the last year since my 11th birthday things have changed. Louis did kiss me. He's kissed me multiple times. He comes in my window most school nights and I come in his window most weekends. I'm 12 now and it's almost December 24. In two days Louis will be 14.

Next year I'll be out of middle school and we will be in high school together. Right now I'm on the journalism team putting together the 8th grade yearbook. He's on the sophomore basketball team. I go to all of his games and cheer the loudest for him...except for Madison. She still likes him. He says she will get over it but it's been a year so I don't think so. Louis still makes my stomach turn but in a good way. I've been able to realize what it is...I have a crush on him. I don't think he knows.

TAP! TAP! TAP!

He always taps before opening the window quietly. He helped me arrange my room so he can get through the window easier. He lifts the blanket and crawls over to me kissing me on the lips. I smile. He always does this.

"Haz." He whispers but comes closer to me.

"Lou." I say breathless.

Like every other night our hands explore. He runs his down my back and back up my chest under my shirt. My hands slide down his sides and under his shirt feeling his muscles. He shivers and moans when he kisses me again. He takes my shirt off and then he does the same. We've explored a lot with each other. He likes my chest he says and my pudgy love handles. I like his back muscles and perky little ass. I grab it and he gasps but so do I when I feel a hard part of him against Mr.

He puts his tongue in my mouth and I can taste everything he's ate and drank recently but also just...him. Mountain dew. Cheetos. Minty. Manly. It's like home. He pulls away and we stare at each other. Once again I want to tell him I have a crush on him but I'm afraid.

"My most favorite." He kisses me quickly and then lays my head on his chest tangling our legs together.

"My Lou." I whisper back. A small part of me is afraid that's not true though.

Two days later I'm sitting in Liam's room waiting for Louis.

"Harry go get him. He'll be late and we won't make it to the park for his surprise." Liam says.

"Why me Liam?" I am still finishing wrapping his gift.

He smiles and laughs. "Because..." He takes a deep breath. "Lou and Haz sitting in a tree..."

"SHUT UP!" I throw the plastic tape roll at him. "He doesn't even like me like that. Why did I tell you?"

"Because I'm best friends with both of you. Buuuuut...Niall knows too." I stare at him with my mouth open. "Don't worry Harry. Louis likes you too. I think."

"How?"

He sits next to me on top of his desk. "He always wants to go first when we play games like 7 minutes in heaven and spin the bottle and it's always you that's chosen. He doesn't get excited to kiss me and Niall. Duh. Now go get him!"

He pushes me out his door. His words are running around in my head. Does he like me? He does always kiss me. He doesn't like when it's time for him to kiss anyone else in the games. Not even his new friend Zayne who just moved around the corner. I knock on Louis door and wait. Is he okay? I walk to the side of his house and tap on his window. I try to open it and it slides up easily.

"Lou?" I ask without climbing in. I've never climbed in without him being in here. I'm his best friend though, his most favorite so I'm allowed. Plus he was supposed to come to Liam's 10 minutes ago.

I open his bedroom door and walk to the kitchen. He loves food probably more than even me but he's not here. I stop when I reach the living room backing up slowly.

No. No. No.

Louis is sitting on the couch with his back to me and Madison is on his lap. He's kissing her. She's kissing him. Her eyes are closed and her fingers are in his hair. I don't know where his hands are and I don't want to know. I walk silently back to his room and climb through the window closing it silently.

Why is he kissing her?! He kissed me two days ago.

What is this feeling...it feels like I got punched but I didn't. I barely recognize walking into Liam's house, up the stairs, and into his room. I grab the box off the table and stomp back down the stairs.

"Harry?" Liam asks. "Everything okay?" He asks following me to Louis front door.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He doesn't open it.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Finally he opens the door and he looks surprised but sad to see me. Madison walks up behind him putting her arms around his waist. He then looks terrified and I notice him meeting Liam's eyes.

"Happy birthday." I throw the box at his chest.

He catches it and I walk to my house.

"Haz." He calls and tries to grab me.

"NO!" I yell.

Liam steps in front of him and behind me. "Louis. What's going on? You know we had something planned." He sounds confused.

I just keep walking toward my front door. It's Madison that answers. "We just got caught up. Didn't we boyfriend?"

I stop without turning around. That word.

Boyfriend.

I turn my head and meet his blue eyes. He is hurt. He wants to say something. I beg him silently to say it isn't true...instead he says the one thing that hurt me the most.

"Yeah babe. Sorry Li." He takes a deep breath. "Tonight Haz?"

I shake my head. "No."

He can't come in my window again. I walk inside locking the door and then my bedroom window. He doesn't like me. He has a girlfriend.

TAP! TAP! TAP!

I hear him try to open it but he can't. "Haz. Please. I was going to tell you." The window is thin and with my bed right next to it I can hear him through it.

I roll over and hold the pillow tighter to my chest. "Go away." I throw the stuffed animal he got me 4 years ago at the window.

I let the tears fall and my heart feels like it's cracking in two.