Loving You

Chapter 21 | Confronting

"Cathy, you should probably not go. Pa isn't feeling good about it," adviced Henrietta.
"Please don't go," requested little Charles.

"How do you all feel to know that you have a family and you know them? I have a family as well. You are my family. Ever since the little girl came from Galaw, she had always seen you all as a family. But... as I have already mentioned, I don't want to hide from my past. I want to know it, explore it, so that I can put the missing pieces together in my life."

"You can go Cathy. End of discussion. When do you intend on going?" This time Mr Dudley sounded a little less emotional. He did agree on this with her. If anything her sister would have wanted it would have been her daughter confronting the truths surrounding their family.

"Tomorrow morning. I want to be there for like a few weeks. I would be back before Henrietta's wedding I promise."
Even though she had got the permission, she wasn't quite happy about it. The fact that she had hurt the person who has meant so much to him, was still eating her up from the inside.

"Cathy, I am not angry or sad. I am shocked that you want to face all these by yourself. I just want you to be safe." Mr Dudley wipes his hand and folded his arms on his chest. "Trust me, I have always know that this day would come. No one likes to be in the dark about their past. Please take care."

She nodded. "Well, thank you for your company Mr Benwick. And sorry for any inconveniences."

"Oh no Mr Dudley. I rather enjoyed having a conversation with you. I am looking forward to another meeting soon." He got up and made his way to the door. So she was going away. Going away from everyone...going away from him. She would return. Right? Yes she did promise that she would return. Why was he so apprehensive about it? Well, she was her friend afterall. Right? Yes, he was probably thinking too much. He wanted the internal conflicts to stop.

"Mr Benwick I am so sorry for today."

He turned around to see Cathy standing by the door. She was holding a familiar book in her hand.

"No, it is fine. It is common for everyone to know their past. To find their answers. I can relate to it." His face dropped down in sadness but he flashed the most natural smile he could. "Is that Johnathan Moore's book?"

She looked in her hands. "Oh this? Yes it is."
He handed the book to him. Remember I told you about John Moore. Well this is my favorite book by him. I have read it over 20 times and it still does not fail to awe me. I have never given you anything. I thought that maybe before leaving I will give this book to you. I know you love Jonathan Moore as well. So I thought that giving you something so precious to me would help me to release the load of debt for once."

Although with extreme hesitation he did end up taking the book from her he did not want to upset her by telling that he had the exact same book and that that book was one of his favorite works by Sir Jonathan Moore. He looked at her intently as if he was trying to tell her something. It was not the right time and the right place to say it. "Have a safe trip." That's what he could say.

She opened the door for him and saw his receding figure. She wondered if she was missing on great things by deciding to go back to Galaw. She wondered if she was doing a grave mistake by not listening to her uncle. But at the same time she was sure that she would not back off from her decision. She had to build the courage to face situations and to make her own decisions and implement them. Right now all she had on her mind was that she had to leave for her destination early in the morning and that she had to start packing her luggage as soon as possible.

She climbed upstairs and locked the room behind her full stop. She knew that she couldn't waste a single moment or her family would try again to stop her from going there. She knew that it would not be easy tomorrow.

~

The next day she woke up early in the morning. She decided to write a note to her uncle telling him that she had already left for the train and that she would miss them a lot. She thanked him for cooperating with her and allowing her to go there. She even apologized to him for it hurting him and promised that she would return in early healthy condition. She loved them and would pray for them daily. She would be back before Henrietta's wedding.

As she folded the paper and kept it under her uncle's diary she left the house full stop she boarded The early morning train Tagalog and looked outside and apprehended her journey Ahead. She knew that what lied ahead of her was the unknown and that the unknown had to be feared. But she would not let it bring her down. She knew that she had plants herself into this situation and that she had to fight it bravely. She reached her destination in the late afternoon. She suddenly felt a pang of nostalgia in a her heart. The place was colder than she had expected. It felt as if no one lived there. The place had become a living cemetery. She produced a paper from a bag and looked at the address written on it. 15 Marcus lane, Rosary Road. She had obtained the address from her uncle's diary without his permission. She was quite guilty for doing so.

After waiting for what seemed like hours, a carriage arrived at the station. The man tipped his head towards her and asked her where she was headed to. She told him the address. He looked at her curiously.

He told her that he could drive her to the place and offered to do so for two shillings. She let out a sigh of relief. As he drove further towards the town she could see a little life springing through the old brick buildings. The people dwelling in the place were old. She asked the driver about this to which he laughed and said that the town had been abandoned by the people for a long time due to scarcity of food. He explained that he was quite surprised to see that she was demanding for an address where no one lived.

She told him that she was there to find something valuable related to her. She scanned the surroundings carefully trying to record each and every scenery as they passed by. Unfortunately she did not recall anything. Well she couldn't blame herself. After all it had been more than 10 years since she had left that place. And that too at a young age. So it was quite common for her to forget it.

After a bumpy 15 minute ride she finally reached a destination. The driver helped her to unload her luggages. As the driver drove off she looked at the shabby building that was now standing in front of her. Even through the dilapidated structure she could identify it vividly. This was it! This was her house. This is where she used to live. She remembered the entrance, the garden, the tiles, the bricks, the structure, the glass. As if she could see through the moss and snow cover, the vibrant building that stood on this very ground a decade ago.

She began to cry. This is the very place... the place where it all started and where it all ended.