Moonbloods Season One: The High Warlocks Wife

22 Return to Azga

We left Summer Crest three day later, the ship having been ready weeks ago was cast headlong out to open sea. I didn't feel comfortable leaving Jon behind in the condition he was in. He still needed time to heal. I'm more ways then one. His life had barely begun and now he would never see battle. He would never gain the glory of a knight of Azga. It had been his dream. There was nothing I could do to restore full function to his leg. Jon would walk with a lip for the rest of his life, the muscles and nerves in his leg tight and damaged. There had been little to work with after the Healer from Star Hill had finished cutting away the necrotic flesh. I had no choice but to leave Jon to his own devices. He had to learn. Emris had a point. I could coddle him forever.
I found the salty sear air oddly comforting. For now I was able to roam the deck in a summer dress as we sailed through the carabiners, headed further and further north, into the icy waters of Northers Azga.
Seeing the dancing, bright pink and green lights was amazing and a once in a life time experience. The sun had vanished hours ago, lighting up the night sky with the same constellations Emris had shown me before.
I sighed as I leaned against the side of the ship, looking down into the dark, black water.
Emris.
He was clearly attracted to me. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in the least bit attracted to him. In fact it was quite the opposite. Whenever he was close- close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off of him- but not close enough to touch me, my sling turned into an hyper sensitive blanket of awareness and wonder. I could only ever enjoy it for a few moments before Emris would stop himself. He hadn't really been in a talkative moon today. I looked over my shoulder to the upper, enclosed deck of the ship. Of course his eyes were on me. They always were. It didn't bother me much anymore. And that just added to the reasons why I had to figure myself out.
What was I feeling?
Why was I feeling this way?
Was I putting all of my hops on Emris to fix me? I was broken and damaged after all. Could I even be fixed? And why, by the Goddess, why did he care?
My heart throbbed in my chest as the winds suddenly turned cool, indicating that we were beginning to enter Venderaien sea boarders. A warm, soothing hand touched my chilled arm. "You should get your cloak if you intend to stay outside, Princess," Emris said as he joined me at the stern of the ship.
I offered him a small smile. "I enjoy the cool air," I told him.
Emris thunked his staff on the worne wooden floor as he circled around me, lifting the flap of is heavy, fur cloak and sealing it over my shoulder. "We have much to do when we return home," he told me. "I don't need you getting sick."
His hands pressed hotly against the thin material of my dress for the briefest of moments. We're his hands shaking? "I wanted to apologize," he said in a low voice, his warm breath brushing my ear. I shook my head, just a small fraction of an inch. Then I felt it.
This overwhelming sense of relief, relaxation and bliss. A relaxed sigh passed my lips and I leaned into him. My head rolled back onto his shoulders but Emris still didn't touch me. Instead, this hands gripped the railing in front of us, his knuckles white, his sharp nails digging into the polished wood.
"For what?" I asked him in a whisper. Emris sighed, his breath warming my already flared skin.
"I can't believe I am doing this..." he whispered. I tried to turn to face him but his hand gripped my shoulders for the briefest of moments before he forced his hands back onto the railing, his heavy cloak falling around me.
"I won't be touching you any more," he said in a tight voice and dropped his hands. My eyes opened and I turned to face him. The feeling of relaxation he had been inflicting on me washed away, followed by a wave of rejection. I shuddered.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him. Emris folded his arms almost forcefully behind his back.
"I understand that you can't let anyone in because of what Hiram did to you... And I'm sorry I am not enough to free you from that."
I shook my head. "I don't understand-"
Emris sighed. "The way you looked at me the other night... like I was some kind of monster. I didn't realize how in the wrong I was at the time- I don't want you ever to look like that at me again... I don't ever want to strike such fear in you... so, I simply won't touch you."
This was horrible!
Was this what I wanted?
Was this better then the the painful pleasure he offered me each time his warm hands touched mine? My heart throbbed in my chest. I didn't know. "Emris- ... I didn't-"
He smiled and stepped back, his hands still still at his side. "I am doing the best I know how here, Nalia," he told me in a low voice. "I told you I am doing my best to make this as easy for you as possible. And if you need time, that is what you are going to get. I just wanted to make sure you understood that I won't be a problem anymore."
I frowned. "You were never the problem, Emris!" I reminded him.
He smirked at me. "That's nice to hear," he admitted. "However, rough waters lie ahead, so our timing may be a little off."
I frowned. "I miss Moon," I said and sighed. Emris laughed. "We will go for a ride as soon as we get settled at home."
We didn't speak much for the rest of the night. I waited for Emris to touch me, to take my hand, to make my heart throb with the oddly and joyfully painful pleasure I so desperately longed for.
But his hands remained firmly folded behind his back, his mind remained distant. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps we both needed distance from each other. I didn't like that idea either.
I shuddered, goosebumps rippled over my skin. My heart was throbbing in my chest as I stepped away and cleared my throat. "I should get my cloak," I told him.
Emris nodded and waved for Hali to fetch it for me. I felt oddly off balance as Emris turned away from me and his hand still locked behind his back. "You said something about being busy when we get home?" I asked him.
I watched a small smile curve his lips, his flippant attitude changing again. "Yes," he mused. "The Ladies of the Court have arrived and eagerly await your arrival. The High Lady Drodic and Lady Davola are the only ones attending this season."
I shook my head. "Only so few?" I asked. "I thought there were at least a few dozen houses."
Emris nodded. "There are," he assured me. "However, since the war ended, many of the Ladies were just children when their parents passed, leaving them with no guidance or fortune."
I nodded. "They need to marry for money." Emris sighed and nodded. "It is unfortunate but yes. They understand this. It's always been this way. I have many Lords already invited to come to Vendera. They haven't been there in years and the place could use a sprucing. They are to begin arriving at the end of the month."
I sohook my head. "Have these men wed before?" I asked him confused.
Emris nodded. "Yes," he said. "Lord Valemanti just wed his third Mortal wife. She is about your age. She is due to have her second child any day now."
I raised an eyebrow. "Her second?" I demanded. "How?"
Emris shrugged. "Medical mystery."
"And his wife is number?"
What was this pricking feeling in my chest. I knew Emris was immortal. I knew that he must have been with other woman at some point in his life. This shouldn't bother me.
Emris narrowed his eyes at me. "Wife number seven," he told me. "If there is something you would like to ask me, just ask," he said.
I sighed and shook my head. I couldn't bring myself to speak the words. Emris sighed.
"Nalia."
His voice was hard, causing my eyes to snap up yo his. "Don't be jealous," he assured me. "I haven't been with anyone since I knew you were to be my wife."
I felt my eyes go wide. The day Emris was told we were to be married was the day I had been born. He had abstained this whole time? I was seventeen now. He had waited until I was his wife. I lowered my gaze, the uncomfortable silence between us drug out. How was I supposed to compete with that? The odd feeling of crippling anxiety swelled in my chest as I tried to calm myself. Emris sighed and glanced out over the sea.
"I didn't mean to upset you," he assured me. I shook my head.
"You didn't," I assured him.
Emris frowned, a wave of dizzying euphoria washing through me like a sudden high. "Tell me," he whispered. I frowned at him.
"No fair!" I complained. Emris smirked and the sudden intense emotion dulled to a bearable, dull pulse.
"Your anxiety is enough to put down a horse," he teased me.
I lowered my head. "I'm trying to overcome it!" I assured him.
Emris smiled a wide, shape tooth smile at me. "That's my girl," he praised, the light in his eye was hiding more then I would have ever guessed.