Letter To Someone I've Never Met

My very first spring

As always, I am sitting by my desk. I didn't notice back then, but I started losing friends, and I ended up alone. Maybe it is because I am not as joyfull as before, I was lovely as a kid, now I hate myself for changing, even know I know it was necessary, it is the process of growing up. The irony is that I always hated myself, but now I like the little me, and sometimes I hope I will love the current version of myself in the future. I always seaked for love and approval, maybe that's what removed my friends from me. Maybe it's just that I locked myself in my own loneliness, keeping myself from others. I don't know. But the only thing I'm sure now is that it's only me and my desk.
I got up and went to the cafeteria, it is lunchtime, I don't want to eat. Actually, I am nauseous, maybe because I don't want to eat, or maybe because I am scared of what will happen next.
It's been going on for a while.
Every single time that I sit down. A bunch of girls like to come around me and tease me, I don't like it but I stay, It's better than eating alone, I can't bear the looks.
I finish my plate barely touched at the speed of the light. And I go back to class. I revise what I couldn't yesterday. And I go home. Days go after days. Just like this. Full of melancholy.

Until that day.
Spring was advanced, but mine began there.
I remember all the details, I could tell your clothes, define your face, and describe how your eyes reflected the light as if it were stars. How your sent filled my very first memory of us together. This instant that I have been waiting all my life was magical and surrealistic. My heart was jumping out of my chest, and my eyes watered in a wink of eye.
You were there. Standing in front of me. At the bus stop. Getting the sunlight smiling ear to ear.
My heart was torn apart. All I hoped for was that it was true. No, if it was a dream, I didn't want to wake up, I couldn't care less.
I began to run mechanically to you. I jumped into your arms, crying and shouting how much I missed you.
You put me down, looking at me with an akward smile. Your expression showed me your surprise, yet your curiosity. You said with your soft voice that I love : who are you ?
I was looking at your soft smile while listening, a smile that I missed. For a moment, I forgot we were strangers, I knew you, but you don't. I forgot that I was bearing an unrequited love for you. I took all my bravery to admit that I didn't know you. I said some slight explication, that I mistook you for someone else. You just smiled at me. Then the bus arrived.
We went on together. We sat at the back as you used to, and I followed you, fearing that you would evaporate as if it was just an illusion. We stayed for a moment, and eventually, you fell asleep on my shoulder. I leaned my head on yours, our knees were in touching, and our hands were so close. I had to fight the urge to take it and never let it go.
I could tell that behind your eyes, and your smile was someone who was exhausted. We rested until you woke up at your stop. You excused yourself and went off. I couldn't follow you, my leg weren't carrying me. Maybe I should've eaten more at lunch.
My heart was warmed by yours on that beautiful day of spring.