To Love A Murderer | ✔

25 | To Escape or Not To Escape

The number of marks on the walls increased, days turning to nights to return to morning yet again; dwindling with it her hope as the days numbered more.

Nightmares haunted her sleep and illusions preyed on her mind whilst awake, weakening her.

Lilavati swayed slightly and shuddered.

The isolation was what took a toll on her the most. After having been used to the hustle and bustle of Dvaravati, despite her tendencies to stay hidden from the public eye, the deafening silence was unnerving.

Her thoughts turned to the woman who had refused her aid in escape. The woman had been taken out a mere few hours later, crying and yelling, but Lilavati could not bring herself to shudder at the thoughts of what they might have done to her already.

"You wouldn't hurt your mother, would you, dear one?"

The croon of a voice that was supposed to be maternal sounded somewhere off to her right, and Lilavati turned, gasping.

Even though she had many demons, her mind had turned on itself and brought up some of her earliest ones; wounds she thought had long since closed up, even though she had but a few memories that were not tinged with the ache a child should never have had to feel.

I have to get out of here.

The part of her voicing her deep desire to escape was only a small one. The larger part of Lilavati had given up, waiting numbly for... something.

Perhaps release from this body, she mused idly.

A quick scan of the room told her the various ways she could attain this escape, but the small part in her was stubborn despite being outvoiced.

Where would I go after that? If I managed to escape.

She shifted in her position, wincing at the pain that shot up her joints.

Dvaraka was only a dream, she told herself. If he wanted to come for you, he would have come a long time ago.

Ilu probably wouldn't expect me either... she'd probably send me back to him, and what's the use of going there if all we had—all I dreamed was not true?

She exhaled slowly.

"Let him be happy, that's all I ask." Her voice was hoarse from disuse.

Lilavati let her head rest against the wall and let herself drift off.

~

The walls did not seem to be thick enough to block conversations that took place outside her door.

She had noted this amusedly a few days ago.

"—seems like the issue must have been pressing. He left in a hurry."

There was a snort.

"Or it might be that he wished to be back as quickly as possible. Who wouldn't, with such a beauty waiting for him here?"

"And that she's Krishna's wife. What a catch!"

"I bet he's beside himself with worry! Serves the gwala right. They'll never find her here."

The next words were a bit more subdued. "Maharaja would have been pleased."

Would?

Lilavati frowned.

Was their king dead?

She racked her brain, but she was not knowledgeable enough about the kings of Bharata to make a guess.