Not So Alone (West Coast Campus Book 1)

Chapter 4

And then everyone else joins in, happy that Seth and Kyla are together, happy that they flipped the mattress, and just happy.

Happy.

"We're leaving later today to go to my parents house. To tell them. We will be back Tuesday." Kyla says.

My smile falls just a bit, knowing they waited this long to tell me.

It would have taken Seth's coach some convincing for him to allow Seth to miss three practices but it's not about me.

"They will be so happy. I swear they've been trying to set you guys up since grade 2."

Seth hauls Kyla into a hug, forgetting that there are two other people in the room.

Breaking free, Kyla gets up and nods for me to follow her down the hall.

We enter my room and I sit on the bed as she grabs a backpack and fills it with a unnecessary amount of clothing.

"You'll be okay, right? I knew I shouldn't have sprung us leaving today on you the same day."

Her face is filled with guilt and regret as she looks at me but it feels like she's just looking through me.

Like she's not really seeing me.

"I will be perfect." I make sure my smile is big as I tell her.

There's a nag in my chest but I ignore it because she's happy.

And she deserves to be happy.

She hesitates for just a moment before she releases a breath and holds up a bag with the hardware store logo on the front of it.

"I bought you another lock."

And we both laugh.

---------------------------------------------------

After Kyla and Seth packed half of the apartment into the car around 4, I start to make tacos, as they are the only thing I can seem to stomach.

Noah disappeared about an hour ago so I quietly move down the hall until I reach Kyla's room.

The door is prompt open, music flowing out.

"Noah?"

I knock and push the door open just as Noah lifts his eyes from his laptop that's placed in front of him on the air mattress.

"I was going to make.."

I trail off, the few voices that blast from the laptop sounding familiar.

"No way! You watch The Summer I Turned Pretty!" I gasp, before turning into a laughing mess.

Noah blinks, startled by the outburst before a faint blush creeps up his neck.

He shrugs it off, not looking at me.

"I watch if for my sister." No emotion in his voice.

"Would-would you want to watch it together? I'm making tacos so we can watch it after I'm done?"

Holy shit.

Did I seriously just ask that?

My eyes look around the room, noting the Taylor posters that hang on the wall as if I didn't put those up for Kyla.

"Sure." He says.

I nod, heading back to stir the meat as he stiffly walks to the far end of the couch.

He starts the TV like a robot, the only sign he's not one is his breathing.

We bang out four episodes of the first season, eating in utter silence, before Noah's phone rings.

And he looks relived to pick it up.

That hurt more than it should have.

Moving to the kitchen where I can't hear him, I turn back to the show, watching Belly be the red flag she is.

"I have a buddie wondering if he could drop some of his equipment off here. Is that okay?"

I turn my head slightly to meet Noah's piercing green eyes as he wait's for a reply.

"Could you meet him outside? I can help you carry it up the stairs."

Noah opens his mouth to say something before a knock at the door interrupts him.

"That would be them."

He opens the front door, and I freeze.

There is not only one friend, but three.

Three big, tall men standing in my house as they brush past Noah to check the place out.

The three  of them are all shorter than Noah but all bigger in size.

It would take them no effort to-

I stand on wobbly feet, wanting to throw up and leave this place.

I want Kyla. I need her here.

But she's currently travelling four hours away from me.

Noah and his friends linger in the door and kitchen, talking.

My room.

My room.

That's the only safe place.

My hearts beating faster.

My chest starts to hurt.

No, no, no.

Shit!

My lungs fail me as I try to breathe calmly but it comes in harsh and gurgled, choking a sob.

My feet move as quick as they can, taking me about five steps before someone whistles and I freeze.

You're fine. You're safe.

It's not going to happen again.

"You didn't tell me we had company."  One of Noah's friends say.

You're not crying. You're not having a panic attack.

Dragging my eyes up from the ground, I'm so close to my room as I force myself to look up.

A tan dude stands in front of me, looking me up and down like I'm fucking eye candy.

Not again.

"Get out."

He blinks, looks to Noah, who makes no move.
Who fails to see how much I need them to leave.

And he says nothing.

"All of you. Get. Out." My teeth are grinding together to stop the tears as I spit the words out.

One of them starts laughing but stops when Noah speaks up.

"You guys dropped the equipment off, you can go now."

There was such harshness when he spoke that even his teammates looked at him with wide eyes.

Nausea swept through me like the wind with dandelions as I walked to my room with such pain.

Pain because it was sad how much I was broken for my room to be the safest place for me.

That i couldn't even feel safe in my own home.

And I told myself that I will be able to walk the world with comfort again.

But I knew I was lying to myself.

I didn't stop the loud sob that broke through me as the front door closed and locked, as I heard someone call my name but I slammed my door shut, locking it behind me and fell asleep when my pillow was so damp from my tears that I slept on the mattress.

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