𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚 |𝙅𝙅𝙆 𝙛𝙛 18+|

Chapter 13: Amygdala

I looked at her concerned , the more she talked on the phone the more disturbed she looked , her eyes where full of tears it seemed like she was trying to hold it back . She signaled a thumbs up indicating she was fine , i know she wasn't.

"Fine, i will be coming home now Father" she said and hung the phone up , she looked sad i couldn't read her face "I need to go " she said running to a trash can to throw the ice cream she had in hand . "Good bye Yoongi" she said reaching for a hug "I wanted to give you something" i said reaching inside my pocket.

"Not today , seriously i need to go sorry" she replied and ran off.

That was the last time i saw her . 

It's understandable that he may feel sad and miss his first love if he is unable to reach out to her. First loves often hold a special place in our hearts, and the feeling of not being able to connect or communicate with them can be difficult. It's important for him to take care of himself during this time and find healthy ways to cope with these emotions. Perhaps he can focus on personal growth, engage in activities that bring him joy, and surround himself with supportive friends and family.

But on the contrary Yoongi turned out being quite the opposite he didn't get to have friends nor a family that can actually make him feel at home. 

He was always alone or more like an observer, but not without having his hobbies and his dreams too. He has the whole world to do with as long as you want them,  or if you don't they won't be there for you anymore, so Yoongi just had to find it himself and make everything come to him and then it'll become real in a matter of days. It doesn't happen as quickly as he wishes though.

 He knows people can be cruel to those who are different and to himself as well. Not to mention people aren't exactly supportive of others. They hate being the only ones in their own group or in a particular social structure, but it's also the best society for Yoongi because it gives him something he wants and needs. 

The freedom is exhilarating and it makes him want more of it. But that's why he doesn't try to make friends. He doesn't want to get hurt by someone else's bad intentions even when they're trying to be nice about it. Even if it means giving up the feeling of belonging that Yoongi got after such a long time. He knew that nobody would be like her, in his eyes she was special .

He wasn't very good with words or expressing his feelings. The only thing he was truly passionate about were music and dance and as such those are what he is the most comfortable talking about. As such it isn't exactly easy for him to find people who he wants to talk to. 

Nobody understood him , everyone judged him for the way he acted for the way he talked for everything . It was better to shut himself off then get hurt . And she wasn't there for him , she signified the moon that could be described as ethereal and enchanting, radiating a gentle and calming energy. She may possess a mysterious and dreamy aura, encapsulating the enchantment and beauty of the moon itself.

All he could do was be lost in the memories of hers he knew at that moment she said goodbye he felt it in his heart that he will never see her again , he was moving out he also wanted to tell her that but how could he when she was on that state. He knew how much she feared her father how much he had a big impact on ruining her.

I miss you y/n , he said putting back the letter inside his night stand . He reaches inside taking a cutter out to do the usual he placed it on his hands and cut his hand slowly blood dribbling from his hand . He felt calm, he felt like he deserved it , he knew he was never meant to come into this world, he deserved the kind of life he lived. He didn't deserve happiness, he couldn't bring joy or any emotion into anyone else's life without feeling guilty. 

He just needed a release, a release from his own demons that haunt him everyday. He always feels trapped in them. He could feel someone watching him as he stared at his reflection of the mirror in his room. When he looked at himself in the mirror he felt his face becoming hot. He couldn't help but remember the girl that used to be by his side, who was the joy and happiness for his life .

He wiped the blood of his hands "I'm gonna look for you Y/N , i miss you i want to touch your face, i want to be able to kiss you . Spend my whole life with you " he said putting the cutter back inside his night stand.

Y/N received a message the next day "Morning butterfly , let's catch up tomorrow at my place at 6:00" 

🦋Please comment , vote and add this to your libraries it would mean a lot to me.I didn't edit this chapter so i apologize for any errors bare with me🍒🙌. You can guess the next chapter is gonna be hella smuty🙌☘️CAN'T FUCKIN WAITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TYSM for all of you that read and voted on the other chapters ❄️💓