I hate blue. // Newt TMR

Slammer

two days and two nights.

Thats what both me and Newt were given for what I did.

We were both stuck in the slammer, just because I decided to act on impulse and tried to avoid consequence.

We've been sitting on the cold concrete ground for at least an hour and neither of us have spoken a word. I do want to apologize, as much as I hate him he doesn't deserve to be in here. I would've gone in that maze no matter what he had said to me. Now that I'm thinking about it though, I don't really know why?

My wrists are swollen and red, I've been picking and pinching at them since Alby got involved. Im almost bleeding in a few different areas and I know I need to stop, but I just don't know what else to do. Ive looked over at Newt a few times and he's just been staring at the same spot the entire time.

We'll only be allowed out for like, our basic bodily functions, but they're limiting our meals and the only times we do get to eat will be in here. I feel awful for lying to Minho. I feel awful for a lot of things. The only good thing about being in here is that I'll at least have time to think of how to apologize to him.

All of the gladers are up and at work by now, so I can hear them all talking and roaming around. I'm not sure if anyone knows what happened, but I'm hoping its kept quiet. I don't want any potential friendships severed because of this one incident.

I slump my back farther down against the wall behind me, but as I do I hit my head a bit which hurts like a bitch. I move my hand to the back of my head and groan as I lean forward, and Newt finally looks away from the spot he's been staring at.

Our eyes lock for a few seconds and I try to read his expression. It's just as blank as it has been and the dark lighting make his brown eyes appear black. I give up on figuring out what he's feeling and I pull my knees up to my chest and drop my head down to rest my chin on them. I hear Newt sigh before he finally asks the question we've both been asking in our heads.

"Why'd you do it?"

I stay silent as I try to think of an answer that actually makes sense. I don't think I'm the type of person to just like, do things that impulsively? Hell, I don't know what to think about what type of person I am. I still don't know my own damn name. 

"Seriously, why? Was Minho right? Do you have a death wish or something?"

I lift my head and look at him, I furrow my brows as I respond.

'Im still alive aren't I?'

"But you knew that going in might change that."

'So did you when you let me go.'

Silence again. I drop my gaze down. I really don't know what emotions I'm feeling right now. It's a blur of things. I feel bad for getting him in trouble, but at the same time he knowingly let me walk into death. Should I feel bad? Is this what he deserves?

"Why do you hate me?"

I push out a shaky breath as I tilt my head to the side, still looking towards the ground. 

'Cause you're British.'

He scoffs and I can see him shake his head out of the corner of my eye, "Why don't you take anything serious? Your little stunt today could've done a lot of bad things. We're lucky all it ended with was the slammer."