𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔

𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚈-𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽(𝙲)

The air in the bathroom grew thinner and everywhere suddenly felt so stuffy. My hands that were gripping the edge of the counter began getting slippery, my heart pounding terrifically in my chest.

What exactly scares you, Shakira? The tiny voice questioned with subtlety.

"Leave me alone! Get out of my head!"

"I don't want you! Just go away!"

I was screaming at the voice in my head as though it was present, and I didn't know what more could give thorough psychotic vibes. I was filled with rage and resentment for myself—for how I was acting.

This isn't about the whole school finding out, is it? It pressed further, ripping off what was left of my walls.

"Get out of my head!" My screams were choked with sobs as tears streamed down my face, blurring my vision.

Heck, you don't even care if everyone finds out. It went on, determined to get the truth out of me.

"Please, just stop…" My voice trailed off, so exhausted, so strained.

Chizaram, Jeremy and Abasi. It doesn't matter how they see you. I was losing my shit, going out of my mind and was on the verge of ripping every strand of my hair out of my scalp but the voice was soft, yet it was striking really hard where it hurts.

"Fuck," I whispered.

You are terrified because he knows now. The realisation—not-so-realisation, had my breath stalling for a second and then it was knocked right out of me, poking my tear ducts and pooling hot liquid in my eyes.

Tears that I was struggling to hold back because I didn't want to cry anymore.

He knows. But that wasn't the scariest part because this was just a fraction of my demons. He knows about this now but the thought of him seeing all the monsters beneath this facade that was now cracking so badly was enough to make me feel like I couldn't breathe.

It was enough to make me want to find a different way out aside from the door, bolt out of the room and never come back.

My eyes snapped shut and I sucked in a breath to control my laboured breathing. I drew it out as slowly as I could, and when they fluttered open, they darted right to my hands and I felt my breath seize.

I froze, staring right back at the bloodstains that blended with my red artificial nails. They were like blood splatters, on my knuckles and palms. I breathed shakily, a fresh round of tears welling up in my eyes. My fingers rocked with tremors like they have a mind of their own, shaking terribly and I couldn't make it stop.

As much as I didn't regret disfiguring her face, I hated how her blood was on my hands. It made me feel so dirty, so disgusted. My thoughts that were running haywire weren't helping matters. They only fell in sync with my shaky hands.

"Reina…" His soft voice broke into my thoughts, pulling me out of my head and snapping me back to reality where my entire body went still at the sound of his voice.

"Get out," I whispered.

We both fell silent. The atmosphere thickened, not because of what I had said earlier, but because of the glaring, underlying edge that hung in my voice, right after I uttered those two words. And the fact that both of us knew what was coming after that even made the air much more charged with toxicity.