Illusion | Taekook ✔️

50. Goodbye

"I am happy for you Taehyung and I want you to be happy. You deserve it." I smiled. Now, I am clear why Yoongi had signatures on those papers which I saw in Ashley's office that day. Now, it all made sense.

"I can not be happy, I am still on my way to achieve my purpose, the purpose that was only thing kept me going all these years." Taehyung said, thinking of something deep. I could see the pain in his eyes. I wished he would've trusted me enough to share his story with me, but I could tell he is broken just like me.

We all are broken, some of us are just good at masking it. Some are not.

"Seokjin hyung is like my elder brother. I can't believe you know him too now." Taehyung smiled.

"He is a good person. We just....became friends just like that." I smiled thinking of the time, how desperate I was to see the fiancé of man that I loved.

"So we are good...." Jimin smiled.

"Yes, of course. You were my light in most dark days of my life. I am sorry, I couldn't tell you everything. I didn't want you to bear burden of my wounds." Taehyung said squeezing my hand.

"I understand. I wish one day it won't be complicated like that. I wish one day you and I will be free of all."

"Here..... Freshly baked cup cakes and coffee." Seokjin served us, sitting there.

"I should be going now, I have somewhere to go." I announced.

Taehyung stood up, hugged me bidding me goodbye. I went to Seokjin, unknowingly he became my friend. Would he be same if he knew that I am in love with his fiance.

"Goodbye Seokjin, take care of yourself. Thankyou for always treating me with kindness and being such a good friend. I will not forget this ever. I want you to be happy because you deserve happiness and I am sorry I didn't tell you about my real job."

"There is nothing to be sorry of, I still see you the same and why are you saying like I am never gonna see you again. Huh?" he slapped lightly on my shoulder.

"I- um.... I just... please forgive me if I have done something to you unintentionally." I didn't know what to say, maybe it was the last time I am seeing him.

"Oh what non sense Jimin, you are good person.... I'll see you again." he smiled engulfing me into a hug. I wish Yoongi would see me like that too. Not with hate but with love. I pushed back tears in my eyes and got out of the cafe.

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The night was getting dark, I sat there in empty apartment, waiting for Yoongi. You know how a hopeless person is? Thinking about various alternate realities, wishinh them to be true instead of the one they are living in.

A third person who sees me might think, I am being obsessed with Yoongi. It's not obsession it is love. I handed all of me to him when he said he loved me. I was not me after that moment, I was his.

No one knows that how it feels to be thrown like this. When you feel like you've got a safe space finally and then again being thrown off. I sighed, remembering all of it until my phone ringed.

"Be ready, Felix will be there at sharp 2 am. You have to leave tonight." it was Yoongi.

"Will you be there?" I just wanted to see him one last time before I go.

"No, why would I be there?" he scoffed.

"I just want to see you once before I go." I said.

"Are you for real Jimin. I told you to stop being clingy to me. God I curse the time I met you first."

A lone tear rolled over my cheek, "Do you really curse it?"

There was wa pause, "Yes, you've been nothing but a nuisance in my life."

"I won't be anymore..... what if seeing you was my last wish, am I that hateful that you won't come to see me?" tears were now flowing like a river.

"I have no wish to see you again Jimin." with this the call was cut.

I screamed loudly at the top of my lungs, breaking down and then falling onto the floor. He didn't want to see me again ever. Why this hurts as if someone is ripping my soul out of my body.

A life without him? Before this moment I had some hope even if he threw me away several times but now it was all gone with his words being said. I cried in silence, knowing that there would be no him in my life. I was being exiled and it is most painful being exiled away from your beloved.

I know as far as I am alive, my heart and soul will long for his. I'll make myself pathetic everytime in hopes of having him. There is only one way to end it, only one way to make sure that he won't see me again.

I stood up with my numb legs, dragging my body to the bed, I tookout the knife I hid earlier under the pillow and walked over to the bathroom. In home kind of trance, suddenly my tears were all gone and my mind was screaming on chaos.

I filled the bath tub and placed myself in it. By each passing moment the chaos and voice inside my head were growing strong and I just wanted peace. An escape from life.

I had no one to live for now. I had no purpose to be alive for, I am no one's anything then what's the point of living like that? I raised my arm, I didn't even wince when cold silver touched my skin. Soon it would be all good.

I closed my eyes and all of my life played infront of my eyes like a reel and I pulled my other hand forcefully with knife over my wrist, but I did feel any pain. Maybe this pain is nothing as compared to the pain I have felt in my whole life.

As the moments passed by the voices in my head started to slow down and I smiled. Finally, I'll be free. Free from all of it. The last memory that played infront of my eyes was of Yoongi, before everything went dark.

"Jimin I've found peace in your arms, I wish to live like this. I love you."

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Sometimes what we think is escape is not an escape. Living in any circumstances that are worst for you is the real bravery 😪😪

Love from my side..... Be strong y'all. 💜