sixteen

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⋆ sixteen ⋆

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⋆ sixteen ⋆

"So you didn't demand to break up or anything in a fit of rage, which is good."

Mary Jane pours hot water from the kettle into the two mugs of tea. Lily lies on the small couch in the older girl's apartment, legs dangling off the end, arm thrown over her eyes as the weight of everything that happened and that she said finally hits her.

"But you also asked him to leave, which is... less good," MJ continues slowly. "It's not bad, but..."

A harried breath escapes Lily's lips before she pulls herself into a seated position, running her fingers through her hair anxiously. "I feel like such a douche."

"Hey. Why are you a douche? He shouldn't have kept that secret from you for this long, especially when you're dating."

"You knew too, you should have–"

MJ hurriedly changes the subject, avoiding the conversation topic as she places Lily's mug of tea on the coffee table. "But the point is, why are you the douche?"

"He knew all along. I was comforting him about losing his friend, and all along, he saw him die. It runs so much deeper than I thought, and all along I was trying to help by constantly mentioning Harry. We were in the papers together. He must have been reminded of Harry all the time. Hell – I'm Harry's sister. I feel horrible."

She sighs, burying her face in her hands. "I feel like I knew. I mean, I noticed all the signs, put Peter being Spider-Man together ages ago. I even realised that you knew, with all the distracting you were doing, like at his graduation. At the same time, though, I knew it wasn't my place to speculate who Spider-Man was, so I tried not to dwell on it.

"But I feel like a part of me forgot about it, and when I realised... all this, it became real. It became more dangerous. I was reminded exactly of why Peter's job is unpredictable and perilous, and how it led to my family dying. It's why my company is at risk now too. It just... it affects us in so many ways but I don't even know how to start addressing it. And it just makes me so sick to know that my brother and dad were involved in all that and about what happened to them. And all along, I never knew. It's different knowing something for certain compared to guessing it to make you feel better, but it's not making me feel better at all."

Sitting on the edge of the table, MJ stays silent for a moment, thoughts mulling over in her mind. How could she even begin to address this? It's not fair that Lily is putting all the guilt on her own shoulders, but Peter isn't to blame either. She thinks. Maybe.

"Oh, this is all so messed up." Mary Jane sighs, running her fingers through her hair anxiously. "Okay. Lily, listen. It's not your fault, okay? Harry didn't know about your dad either. It's only because he saw Peter put your dad's body in the study that he thought Spider-Man killed him. But he didn't kill him, your dad killed himself while trying to kill Peter."

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