30 : remembering childhood

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--Everleigh

I was searching for apartments near my father when I had passed the middle school I used to go to. A smile came across my face when I walked past it. The pine smell from the woods and little kids rushing out of school reminded me of everything I missed about the place. Every time I thought back to my old favorite memories, I realized Sasha was in every single one.

So, I told myself I was going to bring him back whether he wanted to go or not. It felt only right to explore the place we first met, together. Sasha parked his car in the school parking lot. I couldn't contain my excitement as I stepped out of the vehicle to breathe in the same scent I caught when I was walking from the bus yesterday.

The cool air kissed my skin, making sure it drained me from any heat my body naturally produced. I was actually being dramatic. It wasn't that cold. I was just too ready for summer.

"School?" Sasha questioned.

"Come on!" I exclaimed.

I was itching to go back to the forest right beside the school. I didn't wait for Sasha to catch up. Like a little kid, I happily made my way through the trees, searching for the spot we once claimed. I glanced behind me for a second to see Sasha was following close behind me. He was looking around just like I was, nostalgia hitting us like a truck.

It didn't take long for us to make it to the familiar clearing. Everything was just like it always was. My smile grew even bigger as I looked at Sasha.

"Look at this!" I laughed. It was perfect. "This is where I taught you English and you taught me Russian!" I pointed at the log that looked a lot smaller than how I remembered it as a kid. "This is where we had our first kiss!" I laughed pointed at the spot I was directly standing on. "This is where we engraved our intials!" I exclaimed, practically running over to a tree where 'S+E' could be read. "This is where it all began..."

Sasha was silent. His gaze shifting everywhere. I could tell everything was hitting him all at once. However, I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

My smile faltered a little as I made my way toward him. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yes, I'm more than okay," he told me so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. He looked so innocent with the orange of the sunlight beaming down on his face. He was glowing. His silver eyes aimed up at the sky before falling back on me. A chill sent a shiver down my spine. They were light again. They were no longer the color of storm clouds.

"It's been so long," he said. "I always wished I could go back to those days and just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing," He answered back. Nothing ever pissed me off more when someone didn't finish what they were going to say, leaving it to my overthinking mind to put the pieces together.

"Don't do that," I said, folding my arms across my chest. "Just... what?"

He grew silent. After a while, all I could do was sigh. I should've known that Sasha wasn't the type to open up. He didn't even do it when we were kids—he sure as hell wasn't going to do it now.

As I looked at him, I realized he didn't really need to say a thing. I could see it all over his face. Despite how painfully hard he tried to hide it, his sadness was so obvious.

"I just..." he gazed down at his hands as he clenched and unclenched his fist. "This is where I beat that boy up."

This time, my smile fell completely.

"Sasha..."

"This is where I actually became Kayo."

I shook my head. "It's not where you actually became Kayo. Kayo fights people for money, or to prove a point, or to please the people who profit from it. What you did... that was not Kayo...."

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