Cursed (Hogwarts Legacy fanfiction - original in German)

Chapter 01 - Let it go

"Can I do anything for you? Just let me know, please."
The sincere concern in his voice caused tears to well up in her eyes again. She was glad he couldn't see it, and she held her breath so as not to make any sound that might give her away. All she wanted was to tell him to hold her close and never let go, that his mere presence was already a comfort to her, making her feel stronger and safer than ever before. But this wasn't the right moment for that. She needed to process the recent events on her own before she could talk to someone about it, even if that someone was Ominis. Her silence seemed to be answer enough, as Ominis let out a soft sigh and took out his wand, preparing to leave.
"Alright, I didn't mean to intrude. But I'm here if you need me," he said. A shiver ran through Phina's heart as he turned away from her. Part of her didn't want him to go.
"Ominis!" she finally blurted out. Her voice was only a soft, hoarse whisper that got stuck in her throat, and it hurt immensely because she had to concentrate so hard not to sob out loud. He immediately turned back to her, pausing a few meters away.
"Thank you," Phina added uncertainly, looking back at the fire flickering in the Slytherin common room's fireplace. Curled up in a chair, she pulled her legs close and wrapped her arms around them, seeking something to hold on to. So she couldn't see Ominis nodding at her and giving a faint smile before he headed back to his dormitory, giving her some time alone. He knew her well enough to understand that she needed that from time to time to contemplate. Yet, it had been essential for him to reassure her that he was there if she needed a friend to talk and listen.

The fire wasn't enough to dispel the cold from Phina's body. Her head still throbbed as she finally allowed herself to let the tears flow, which had been building up in her eyes since she had escaped from her argument with Sebastian.
"What a disappointment..."
Of all the sentences, this one had hurt the most. It struck her right at the spot where an old, scarred wound lay in her heart, a memory she never wanted to be reminded of again. But Sebastian had mercilessly reopened that wound. Perhaps unknowingly, at least that's what Phina hoped, but on the other hand, Sebastian knew her well enough and was actually intelligent enough to understand the impact his words would have on her. She had told him about her past in the orphanage, how she had never been adopted because she seemed to be not good enough compared to all the other children there. Because she insisted that she possessed a special ability, even though everyone around her considered her crazy because of it. Today, she knew that it had always been traces of ancient magic she had occasionally perceived, but back then, even Phina herself had almost started to believe that it was all in her imagination and that she was truly insane. Every time she started to talk about this feeling of light and energy inside her triggered by those traces, the same sermon had started all over again from her caregivers:
"Oh Phina, I'm really disappointed that you still haven't overcome this. How will anyone ever take you into their family if you don't stop believing in these fairy tales once and for all?" They almost succeeded, and Phina would have shattered. She had already come to terms with not fitting into the world she lived in, feeling like an unnecessary foreign body drifting alone on the outskirts of the stream. Things like recognition or even admiration seemed to be denied to her.

But then everything had changed. A Hogwarts professor named Eleazar Fig had heard about her and finally made her realize that it wasn't she who was wrong, but rather the environment she was in. Her entrance into the world of witchcraft and wizardry was like a liberation. Finally, she had found a place where she didn't feel completely useless and abnormal. And then she had met Sebastian, who not only didn't judge her for possessing a special gift but also supported her in finding out more about it. For the first time in her life, Phina had felt that she was special to someone in a positive way. That the ability to see and partly control ancient magic was not a curse or a crime but a gift that made her interesting and unique. That she could help someone with it and do good, thus finally finding a calling for herself and her life. His enthusiasm had repeatedly infected and motivated her, even though he had sometimes led her into truly dangerous situations.
"I just can't accept that you want to give up after everything we've been through. Is our friendship really worth so little to you?"
Sebastian's voice echoed in her head again and again. Phina looked around the common room once more, making sure no one else was there, before she rested her forehead on her knees and just let it happen. She cried like she hadn't in a long time. Her whole body trembled, and soon the fabric of her pants was soaked with her bitter-salty tears.