A Ghost Encounter: My Time with Simon "Ghost" Riley

Part Thirty-Eight: I Love You

SMACK.

Fuck. Owww...

Hassan and his men are brutal. Ghost and I have been tortured and interrogated for the past few hours.

Let your imaginations run wild. We've been punched, cut, waterboarded, choked, slapped. You name it.

But we haven't cracked. We can't. We won't.

If Hassan wins then the missiles will be launched as a form of retaliation against the United States.

Meaning Ghost and I are probably going to die here.

Hassan and his men let up on us and take their leave for the time being but who knows when they'll be back.

"How are you holding up?" I look over at Ghost who's all beat up. I am too but he looks worse than I do.

"This isn't my first rodeo, sweetheart," he smirks smugly, trying to be strong for the both of us.

"How about you?" Ghost asks me.

"I feel great," I scoff sarcastically.

I know I look like shit. I feel like shit too.

"What are our odds?" I ask cautiously though I already know the answer.

Ghost stares at the ground blankly for a moment. "Not good. Either we break or they beat us to death. And let me tell you something, we are not breaking."

Damn. Guess this is the end of the road.

"Well then, let's talk," I implore.

Ghost turns his head to me in a bout of confusion. "Ha, talk about what?"

"Anything. Everything. The things we've wanted to say but couldn't...or wouldn't."

Our eyes meet and I feel my heart skip a beat.

He lets out a deep sigh, "What do you want to-"

I cut him off.

"Back at the hotel, before Hassan's guards picked us up, why were you cold and distant with me?"

"Breanna..." He pauses and takes a deep breath.

"Why, Simon? I deserve to know and this will be your last chance to say anything," I plead, hoping my words register with him.

Ghost looks at me quickly, then back at the floor, seemingly struggling to be vulnerable at this moment.

"Did you actually mean it? That we were just occupying time? That you don't have any feelings for me? Was I stupid for trusting you a second time?" My voice is shaky, my palms sweaty.

These might be stupid questions but I need to know.

"I've never been one for expressing my feelings." He pauses. "I was cold and distant because I knew this mission was dangerous. I didn't know it would turn out like this but I'm not naive. I knew the possibility of death was highly likely. Whether it be me who died, you, or both of us."

Ghost eyes find me and anticipatory grief is lying within them.

"I selfishly enjoyed my time with you without considering the consequences. Of course, I have feelings for you. We were intimate on multiple occasions," he says matter-of-factly as if his feelings have been obvious to read.

"You've been intimate with other women before," I interject.

Not to mention with Cyra not too long ago.

"But I've never shown them my face. I've never talked with them for hours. I've never battled my thoughts or emotions trying to decide how my actions might affect them." He bites down on his lip.

"Simon-"

He cuts me off.

"I was cold and distant because I was scared. Scared that if we fell too deep and something happened to either of us it would be too painful. We've both dealt with loss before and I don't want to go through that again." A muscle feathers in his jaw.

"Yet here we are," I chuckle sadly. "And I've already fallen too deep, Simon." My voice breaks, tears filling my eyes.

"I know. I have to." I can hear the tension in his throat, his jaw clenching as he tries not to get emotional.

"Do you think anyone will come for us?" I ask, trying to locate any semblance of comfort.

"No one knows what's happening here," Ghost deadpans.

"But if they don't hear from us won't they get suspicious?"

Ghost shakes his head. "Even if they do they have no way to find us. We're only here because of Ahmad and now he's dead."

He's right. Guess there really is no way out.

"Think we can manage a way to escape?" I say with blind hope.

"Probably not."

I hate his honesty sometimes.

"Just tell me we can," I sigh.

"What?" He looks at me with furrowed brows.

"Just lie to me. Just this once," I plead, desperate for anything to soothe this panic.

"I think we can manage to escape," says this softly.

"Me too." I give him a fake smile.

I can't hold the tears back anymore and they start streaming down my face like a waterfall.

"Hey, it'll be alright, love."

I can tell Ghost is tearing up but I don't want to look at him. I'm afraid it'll break something deep within me.

"How much time do you think we have left?" I ask.

"Ah, can't say. It doesn't matter anyways," Ghost sighs.

He's right.

"Thank you, Simon." He looks at me puzzled. "For everything. Thank you for everything." I say tenderly, genuinely.

"I don't understand. You shouldn't thank me. I haven't always been the kindest to you." He shakes his head.

"Ah, don't worry about that. I've been an ass too at times," I chuckle softly. "Besides, I'm grateful for the other things."

I smile happily. Probably the most genuine smile I've let out in a long time.

"Thank you for talking with me when you didn't have to. For putting up with my attitude." I raise my brows and that gets a soft chuckle out of him. "For getting to know me. For understanding me. No one's ever done that before."

I've been denying it all this time but I love Simon. I'm in love with him and I can't hide that anymore. I won't hide that anymore.

"I love you, Simon," I say so quietly it's almost a whisper.

I haven't spoken these words to anyone since my sister died.

His expression slightly changes, his eyes assessing. His face softens, something like longing written there.

"You don't have to feel the same way about me but I can't keep lying to myself. I love you. I'm in love with you." I keep my gaze on the ground, afraid of what he might say.

"I-" He pauses, his throat bobbing. "I love you too."

And there is it.

The words—the connection I've been longing for but have been too afraid to find.

"That's good." I smile happily despite our situation.

Even if death is near at least I can say I loved and was loved once.

Ghost chuckles sadly and nods his head.

Our heartfelt moment is interrupted as the door to the room swings open and Hassan and his guards enter.

"Are we ready for round two?"