Karl Jacobs
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(TW- family arguing)
I stare into my bedroom that has once again been torn apart. I stand in my own silence, the only thing to be heard is my mums snores coming from her room down the hall. Fairy lights are flickering as they're tangled on my bed after being torn from the ceiling, my curtain is on the floor, a framed photo of me and my cousin is smashed on the ground, a small box of keepsakes have been thrown around. It's a disaster, and it's a scene i've seen here before. Only this time I wasn't here watching it as it happened.
A hand is suddenly on my back, I look up to see Mr. Mavric staring down at me with a sad smile. Without saying anything we both stepped into the room and began cleaning it up in silence. Every time a car goes past I race to the window to make sure it isn't 'dad' coming home. When I did see a car that looked a lot like his, I stopped moving. I was convinced it was him and I had no idea what I was going to do if it was him. What could I possibly say to him? There has never been a moment in my life when I felt like I was enough for him. I've never been able to stand in front of him and tell him how I feel. My dad is the most complicated person i've ever met in my entire life, I don't think I will ever know anyone more complicated than him and I honesty don't know how i've lived with him for this long. I'm silently hoping tonight is the night he actually disappears, but I know better then that. I know he'll be back in the morning, eating the food my mum cooked for him.
Mr. Mavric and I continued fixing my room up until the sun was up. I sit on my now made bed and look around, noticing most of my favourite things are no longer there because they were thrown around until they were just little pieces. I look at my bedside table, I stare at the new emptiness. Everything Sapnap gave me is now also gone, and I know it's all stuff I most likely won't ever get back. The purple lava lamp was smashed leaving purple stains on my carpet, the small clay frog he made me was just dust, and the birthday card he made me when we were younger was torn to pieces. The only thing that's left on that table is the photo frame with us in it. I thought that was gone but when mum woke up she told me she grabbed it before he had to chance to, and she kept it safe so Sapnap wouldn't have to replace it again.
I feel like a part of me has been taken from me again, without my permission. I know I can never be who I am in this house, i've made sure to keep to myself for a long time, but i'm still being punished for it. I don't have to do anything to make him angry at me and i've never understood why.
"Karl?" Mum walks into my room, a small blue bag in her hands. "I'm so sorry, I didn't have the chance to give this to you yesterday" she sits next to me and places the bag in my lap.
I open it to find a card with some money in it, a gift card to a local store and a small Adventure Time plushie. I hug her tightly as I thank her, she hugs me back just as tight. I don't pull away from it, I know it's something she needs right now so I let her hold me for as long as she likes. When she does pull away she wipes away her tears and gives me a small smile. She opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by Sapnap lightly knocking on my door as he steps inside.
"I was just about to tell you that I called Nick" mum holds my hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "Thought you might want to see him".
"Thank you" I struggle to look at her, my eyes are focused on him. I can't believe he's here.
Mum leaves the room and Sapnap awkwardly stands in the doorway, looking around my room, probably noticing everything is now different. I stand up and take a few steps towards him so I can shut the door. The last thing I want is for Mr. Mavric to overhear anything that could possibly be said. And I doubt Mr. Mavric wants Sapnap seeing him here.
"Karl" my name rolls off his tongue as he pulls me into him, holding me tightly like my mum just was. "I'm so sorry".
"It's okay" I mumble out a basic lie. "I'm okay".
He pulls away and we both sit down on my bed. Our legs are pressed together and neither of us are doing anything to change that, we're both okay with it. I don't have anything to say to him, I can't think of anything to say in general. As we sit in silence I begin to notice his hand twitching, I look down at it and he follows me. I look away as I see his hand raise and slowly make it's way to mine. His fingers slip between mine and our hands fit together like two puzzle pieces that have been missing from each other. That usual electric feeling sparks throughout my body, my mind is now just on him and nothing else.
"We don't have to talk about it" his voice is barely a whisper but I still hear it crack.
I don't reply, I just stare down at our locked hands. A million things run through my mind at once. I have so much to tell him but I can't find my voice. Tears well up in my eyes as I sit there not knowing what to do or how to feel, all I can do is cry. And he lets me, he continues holding my hand as I cry quietly to myself. My head falls into his chest, his other hand rests on the back of my neck and I feel him leave a small kiss on my head, and I know that is his way of letting me know that he'll always be here for me whenever I need him.
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HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
how is everyone??
i know this chapter is a bit intense again.. i'm once again here to remind you all that you are NOT ALONE!!!!! you are loved and wanted <3
ill be back with another update soon :)
ya'll really dont know whats coming HAHAHAHAHAHA
ill see you soooonnnnn ily
YOU ARE READING
Sweater Weather - Karlnap (au)
Fanfiction"Karl" he says softly, making me turn to face him. "Do you ever feel different?" he asks, without looking at me. "Different in what way?" he turns to me, looking me in the eyes.
