7: Change Of Heart

692 19 21
                                    

Karl Jacobs

--

I never went to the party I was invited to last week, neither did Sapnap. We ended up crashing at my house while my parents were away. The whole night he was getting calls from Harmony and his new friends asking where he is, he was honest with every single one of them. We watched a few movies, played games, listened to music and most importantly talked. He fell asleep on my shoulder, his hand resting on my knee. I held back the urge to reach out and grab his hand. When I became tired I softly moved him so he could lay down on the couch and I made up a bed on the other couch for myself. We both slept peacefully while The 1975 played softly on my TV.

It's been a few days since then, we've barely spoken. I've been home from school all week with the flu. Sapnap wanted to come over on Monday but I told him not to because my dad was home. I guess he was offended by that because we haven't talked since I said that. It's now Friday morning and I feel well enough to go to school today. I don't think I can survive another day home alone with my dad. Anything is better than that.

I messaged Sapnap to let him know i'll be there but I haven't received a response just yet. I saw on Harmony's story that he was at her house last night, the both of them cuddled up in her bed. I don't know what real heartbreak feels like, but i'm assuming that's almost what I felt. She hasn't posted anything since that story and none of her friends have posted anything either. I just huff and shove my phone into my pocket before grabbing my bag. I make my way out of the house, ignoring the shouts coming from my dad who wants something from me. I'm sure he'll realise soon that i'm not even at home.

I walk to school, my earphones in. I have The 1975 playing on loop as i've now connected them to the memory of Sapnap sleeping peacefully on my couch and just the whole night we spent together. I would do anything to go back to that. No. I would do anything to go back to the way we used to be before Harmony came around. Every day I tell myself that I like her, but sometimes the way I feel is out of my control. I can never tell if i'm insanely jealous of her or if I just hate her. 

When I arrive at the school gates I immediately spot Harmony, her blond hair has somehow grown even longer. She's surrounded by her usual crowd but I notice Sapnap is nowhere to be seen. I contemplate walking over to them but I stop myself when I see him walk up to her holding out an apple juice for her. I watch him lean in and press a kiss to her lips. I step back, any hint of joy on my face is now gone. She laughs with him, holds his hand, he looks at her like she's his whole world. She's everything I want to be. Everything I deserve to be. 

As I begin to walk away he shouts out my name. I look up at him and he's grinning, waving me over. I try my best to smile but I feel the tear slip from my eye. He notices and beings walking over to me, that beautiful grin already gone. He's now standing in front of me saying something but I hear nothing. All I hear is her laugh, and the way he looks at her is burned into mind. When did it even happen?

"Karl!" I snap out of it as I am now facing Mr. Mavric, and Sapnap is standing next to him with a concerned look on his face. I feel something warm on my hand so I look down to see Sapnaps hand wrapped around mine. I tighten my grip and look back up at him. He smiles softly. 

"You okay?" Sapnap talks over Mr. Mavric, but really I didn't even realise Mr. Mavric was speaking. All of my attention was on Sapnap. 

"I'm okay" I respond. 

"Karl, I think you should go to the nurse" I look at Mr. Mavric and just shake my head. "No, look at you. You shouldn't be at school! Your mum said you weren't well all week" this grabs Sapnaps attention. One thing i've never told him is the relationship between our teacher and my mum. The last thing I want is for my dad to find out about it.

"I agree Ka-" Sapnap is cut off by Harmony who is now standing beside him. "Hey babe" my hand goes cold. I turn away from them, my eyes meeting Mr. Mavrics. He looks at Sapnap, then back to me.

"Okay" he says softly, understanding what i'm trying to say to him. "Nick, Harmony, I think Karl and I need some time to talk" Mr. Mavric says in his best teacher voice. 

"Oh, yea for sure" Harmony pulls Sapnap way from us, not giving him the chance to say anything.

"Come on kid, lets go to the field for a bit" Mr. Mavric says as the school bell rings.

--

I opened up to Mr. Mavric. He knows everything about Sapnap, my parents, and even my weird jealousy/hatred towards Harmony. He never once offered advice, he just sat down and listened to me. I'm lucky he didn't have a morning class and could actually listen to me go on about pointless things. He even let me play some music so I wouldn't get too worked up while talking about the things that have been upsetting me.

"Have you ever seen a therapist?" He asked as we walked to my second class.

"No" I replied.

"Okay, come to my classroom after school and i'll give you a slip with a list of therapists I think you would like" he said. "You can tell your mum, but I would like to pay for it".

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I wish someone would've done it for me when I was your age" he patted my back then walked away.

I've been thinking about it non-stop. In that small moment with Mr. Mavric I realised that he is everything i've ever wanted my dad to be. He doesn't make me feel bad about who I love, he doesn't demand things from me, he doesn't say cruel things about my friends, and most importantly he doesn't make my mum miserable. He's there for me. And I hope someday he'll be the dad i've always needed in my life.

--

HEY

i'm so sorry for not updating this earlier! this is just a filler chapter im so sorry. its very focused on karls relationship with mr mavric and not with sapnap.....im sorry

so about where ive been... i had almost this whole story written and was ready to publish it all!! but then r*x or*nge co*nty happened......... originally chapters 7-15 were all based off one of his songs and i didnt want to keep it like that so ive had to re-write everything and find new songs with similarities to the original song. i didnt want any of this story connected with such a gross person who i obviously dont support anymore! 

ill hopefully get more parts published soon but they might be a bit slow because im still editing A LOT of it!! the plans i had for this story have changed a bit so it's a bit more challenging to write

i hope you can forgive me and if i dont publish again soon MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS BESTIES !!!!!!

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