Sweater Weather - Karlnap (au)

9: Are You Bored Yet?

Karl Jacobs

--

Sapnap and Harmony have officially been together for a month now. Everything has changed. I have barely seen Sapnap at all this past month, even at school. He is always off with her. The only time we've really hung out was after the party. Harmony left Sapnaps house early in the morning, so Sapnap and I just hung out during the day. I haven't really seen him since, we haven't played games together, we haven't even talked online. It is all different and it's all her fault.

I can see them  sitting together now, all the way across the field. Harmony sitting between Sapnaps legs while they both laugh at something one of their friends said. His arms are around her and she's holding onto his hands. I imagine myself sitting where she is. His legs either side of me, my hands holding his as he rubs his thumb over my knuckles, my head resting gently on his chest, and it'd just be the two of us sitting somewhere together in a field far away from here. It would be perfect. 

I've been alone without him. At night I watch his favourite movies, fooling myself into believing that he's doing the same thing I am, so we're somehow still in-sync without being with each other. Any kind of connection with him is better than not having any connection at all, even if it is just something i've made up  in my head. He's with her all the time, and all I want is some time with my best friend.

I make my way to class as the bell begins to ring. I take a seat in my usual spot, knowing i'm not going to care about anything the teacher has to say. I lay my stuff out on my desk, acting like i'm about to learn so much. I hear the chair next to me screech as someone pulls it, I turn to see Lola.

"Hey Karl" she gives me a sweet smile, it seems genuine. 

"Lola" I return the smile.

She sighs as she unpacks her stuff, laying it all out the same way I do. She then rests her chin on her hand and shuts her eyes. I guess she's noticed how quiet it gets in the back corner.

"Karl" she says softly. "What do you think of Aaron?" she turns to me.

"I think he's alright" I shrug, hoping she's not going to ask me to elaborate. "Why?"

"I don't know" she hums. "I think I might like him, but I also think I might be bored" she pauses. "We talk all the time at home, but then when we're at school we don't speak at all. And at parties he never really leaves my side, I just don't get it".

"Oh?" I say, but it comes out as a question. "I'm sorry that's happening".

"Yea" she continues ranting. "He messages me like we're together, sends me hearts, likes all of my Instagram stories, he sometimes even picks me up at night and we just hang out. I just don't understand him at all".

"Why don't you ask him about it?" She turns to me and giggles.

"Oh Karl, you really don't get it sometimes" I frown. "No girl in my situation would ever ask the guy what's going on, especially if the guy has never mentioned anything about relationships. I'm used to casual things, I used to have a casual thing with Oscar, but with Aaron it's different. He's all I ever think about and he's the only person I want to be near".

As she continues to talk about how she feels about him, I realise she sounds a lot like me when I think about how I feel about Sapnap. We both have odd crushes that we probably shouldn't have, but why is she telling me about hers?

"I've had to avoid the whole group while we're at school, which sucks. I want to spend time with my friends but he's always around" she hesitates, like she's scared to say what she's thinking. "Are you avoiding them for the same reason? Harmony and Nick?"

"W-What?" My eyes go wide, my heart beating faster each second as I stare at her. 

"You're always alone these days, you never sit with the group. I've been wondering what's going on" she shrugs. "I guess you might of liked Harmony and now you're best friend is with her so you just can't stand to be around them".

She's kind of right.

"Oh" I frown. "No, no. I just want to give Sa- Nick some space, I don't want to bother him".

"I don't think you could ever bother him" Lola smiles softly before putting her attention onto the teacher.

I stay quiet, staring down at the blank paper on my desk. What does she mean I could never bother him? Why is she even talking to me? Lola has many friends, she could've sat at the front with Harper but she's sitting back here with me, telling me all about her crush. Did Sapnap ask her to do this? Is he thinking of me?

The rest of class flies by quickly and I let out a sigh of relief when the bell rings, meaning the end of my day at school. I pack my things up quickly, avoiding Lola. I rush out of the room ready to walk home when I see Aaron standing by his locker, holding Sapnaps sweater. The sweater.

"Hold my hand?" Lola appears next to me. "Please, I just want to see what he does".

Without saying a word, I grab her hand. They fall between both of us, swinging as we walk down the hall. Everyone in our year is in this hall getting ready to go home, they can all see us. I've never been one to grab peoples attention while at school, i've never known what it feels like but I do now. It feels like every pair of eyes is watching me, people are curious to know more about this thing that i'm now suddenly apart of.

Aaron and Sapnaps eyes follow our hands as we walk by them, neither of them saying a word to us and we say nothing to them. Lola whispered earlier to not even look at them, and that was hard. How could I possibly not look at Sapnap?