When All is Lost

Epilogue

Four months later: June...

The hot sun beat down on the back of my neck as I leaned over the plastic tub. The chilled, sudsy water sloshed out of it, wetting my bare toes as I scrubbed Jamie's shirt. He had only worn it twice before it was stained with what I hoped was mud.

Please don't let it be blood again.

Between him and Ollie, I was always cleaning something. If it wasn't some splatter from a zombie, then it was always fish guts – neither of which I enjoyed touching. My stomach heaved at the very thought when I heard the telltale crunching of grass letting me know that someone was approaching.

My hand moved from the tub to find my ax. "Who is it?" I asked, feeling my fingers curl around the smooth handle.

"Just me," Prisha announced. She plopped down onto the bench beside me and stretched. "The trio returned."

Relief filled me as dropped my weapon again and sat up straight, nearly rolling my eyes at their title. But, that was what they were. Ian, Ray, and Anton were practically inseparable, always working together on whatever job they were assigned. Ian and Ray at least seemed to enjoy it whereas I wasn't sure if Anton did more than tolerate it... but he was still rather hard to read.

"Did they have any luck?" I asked. We were in dire need of another fishing pole after Victor's broke last week. The man had been warning me it was barely holding together but we'd had little choice in the matter. With thirty-one mouths to feed, every tool had to be pushed to its limit.

"I don't think so." Prisha tilted her face into the soft breeze. The ends of my ponytail tickled my neck. "I wish we could stay here," she sighed.

"Soon. I promise we'll find a place to settle for a while, soon."

Just not yet.

She knew. They all knew what our end goal was and we only had another thirty miles to go. Soon, I'd be home and we could take some time to rest.

If the winter had taught us anything it was the importance of knowing when to stay and when to leave. It was important to have times of rest and gathering, but anytime spent in one place too long would eventually attract the attention of zombies... and sometimes other groups. We'd been on the move for weeks, but it was finally nearing its end.

"I need you to check in with Neveah and Julian and make sure that everyone knows who is on watch tonight."

"Will do." Prisha passed me a bottle of water I hadn't even realized she was carrying. I took a long swig of it before placing it by the bucket at my feet.

"How's Carter doing?" I asked. The kid had been doing his best to prove himself lately, trying to convince his sister that he was ready to go on scavenging trips much to her dismay. He did fine against most things, but he kept trying too hard and this time, he'd ended up hurt.

"Teddy says it's just a sprain. He should be better in a few days." Prisha looked across the field in front of us where some of the kids were playing. "They should be inside, helping with dinner. Crystal can't keep doing it by herself."

I couldn't keep the smile off my face at Prisha's frustration. She was such a stickler for the rules. "I'll go help her. I'm almost done here anyways. And besides, it's a beautiful day and we haven't seen a zombie since this morning. Let them play a little longer."

Prisha pursed her lips, but I could see the moment she caved. "Your call." She eyed me carefully. "But, speaking of calls, a lot of people are already asking about our plans for after the summer. What do you want me to tell them?"

It was still hard trying to think that far ahead and even harder to know if I was making the right decisions. But, Prisha made sure to let me know every time she disagreed. "Ask them their opinions. We'll probably have to go either north or south, so you can get them to start thinking about that. We can discuss it in a few weeks once we've found a place to stay and settle in." I wiped the sweat from my brow. "Does that work?"

Prisha gave me a single-shoulder shrug. "Sure."

We both sat in a comfortable silence, seizing the chance to enjoy the momentary peace. It wasn't very often when we could simply rest, so we both knew how important it was to embrace it.

"Kate!" The shout had us reaching for our weapons but it only took a second for us to both relax as Ian came into view with his full grin on display.

Prisha looked mildly amused even as she stood from the bench with her nose crinkled in disgust. "I'll check in with you later tonight."

"Sounds good," I said as I tried and failed to keep an air of professionalism. Ian was rapidly closing the space between us with his long strides and it was hard to not match his smile with one of my own.

Before Ian made it to within ten feet of the bench, Prisha was already long gone, scurrying towards the house as fast as her willowy limbs would take her. As much as she had worked on getting along with the rest of us, there were still some things she would rather be anything but privy to. And one of those things happened to be shows of affection.

I stood on my numb legs, ignoring the pins and needles feeling in my butt from sitting so long. Ian reached me and scooped me into a hug, making me gasp as he pulled me in tight. We hadn't seen each other since the day before and it was always a profound relief to be reunited.

"How'd it go?" I asked when he released me. "Any injuries?"

"No," Ian answered as he looked me over. "We're all fine. How about you? How'd this morning go?"

My hand fell to my stomach almost subconsciously. Ian's hand moved, and for a single heartbeat, I thought it was going to join mine. Instead, his hand moved upwards and he brushed at what I was sure was soap on my cheek, making my heart skip a beat.

"It was fine," I said, drying my damp hands on my pants. "I kept my breakfast down at least."

We had known for almost two weeks now when the test I'd found in a grocery store confirmed it. I hadn't had my period for almost two months, and at first, I'd written it off as stress and bad nutrition, but I couldn't deny it anymore – not once the morning sickness started. I was pregnant.

I was ecstatic... and terrified. Ian and I had a lot of talks. In the quiet hours when the rest of the group was asleep or on watch, we spoke about the possibilities – both good and bad. It took a great deal of thought and an immense amount of courage, but we decided to face it head-on with the hope and excitement we both wanted to feel.

Breathing in, my nose filled with the scent of azaleas that blossomed in the bushes by the house. It reminded me of home and I couldn't believe that I was only a few days away from where I'd grown up. The place where I hoped my mom and sister waited for me.

Shaking my head, I released the thought, knowing that I needed to keep my focus on the many tasks that still needed to get done. "I heard that you guys didn't find anything," I belatedly added, trying to change the subject.

I could see the glint in Ian's eye as his smile grew almost mischievously larger. "Is that what you heard?"

I had no time for his antics. I still needed to hang up the clothing before helping with dinner. Crossing my arms, I raised a brow at him.

Ian's laugh carried across the yard mixing with the children's as they tossed their found ball high in the air. A startled sound escaped me when Ian pulled me in again and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Close your eyes," he whispered in my ear.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I did as he asked. I heard the rustle of fabric before Ian gently pulled on one of my hands so I held it out in front of me. My brows scrunched in confusion when I felt paper on my upturned palm.

"Now, you can open them."

Slowly, I opened my eyes and glanced down. My reaction was visceral.

Seeds.

A small stack of vegetable seed packets rested in my hand as Ian held even more in his own. I raised my gaze to meet his and I was sure my unadulterated joy radiated through my very pores.

And despite my own doubts and worries about what the future may hold, I suddenly couldn't wait for it to start.