Balance: Benedict Bridgerton's Tale

Chapter 18: Uncover

The next morning, he woke up with a hefty headache followed by heavy case of self-loathing as he realised what he had done. He had felt horrible. Nothing had changed for him as it came to feelings towards her. There was still only one woman who was the sole beneficiary of his heart.

The door swung open, and Eleanor entered her room with a happy expression on her face that quickly faded aways as she saw Benedict's.

Benedict dressed quickly and walked towards her. He bit his lip, something he always did when he was struggling, and addressed her in a soft voice.

"I.. I shouldn't have entered your room last night. It was wrong of me. I apologise for my mistake and the grief it may have caused you", he said earnestly before bowing his head and walking away.

"It was a mistake to sleep with your wife?" he heard her say in a trembling voice and Benedict was immediately overcome by a sense of regret. He slowly turned towards her and stared at her. Benedict could see that she was trying her best not to burst into tears but at the same time anger radiated from her eyes.

"It shouldn't have happened, Eleanor", Benedict replied.

"Why? Am I that appeal to you or is my character that repulsive that you need to define what happened last night as an error?".

Benedict shook his head and walked towards her.

"You're not hideous. Far from it, you're beautiful, Eleanor and there is nothing wrong with your character," Benedict stated earnestly.

"Then what is the issue?" she wanted to know, her voice skipping in intonation again. Benedict looked at her in a way that was a mixture of compassion and guilt. He wanted to tell her the truth but couldn't.

"It is just that- ", he began but he couldn't possibly continue stating her what the actual reason was and retreated last second.

Eleanor remembered something at that specific moment. An article in Lady Whistledown's leaflet and abruptly she felt like she had found the final piece of the puzzle. She had read about the mysterious woman in Benedict's life had thought it had been idle gossip. Eleanor was a fool for believing that it was only gossip, she now realised.

"Who was the mysterious woman Lady Whistledown wrote about, Benedict?" she asked him directly and it was clear to her that he didn't expect to be asked his question as his jaw dropped in astonishment.

"I asked you something" she stated coolly as she regarded him with a determined look.

"I can't tell you" he finally said softly, and it was without delay, her heart broke into a million pieces.

"And why is that?," Eleanor pressed on even though she felt absolutely gutted inside and on the verge of tears once more.

"I can't reveal her identity as it might give her consequences she doesn't deserve."

"But I have a right to know!" she yelled.

"No, you don't. You don't!" he countered even though Benedict knew he did.

"Then do answer me this and please Benedict. I implore you to be truthful for once."

She took a deep breath and with dread racing her asked the question she didn't want to the answer to.

"Do you love her?."

Silence engulfed the room and somehow in that silence more words were spoken than someone could ever say.

"I do" he said softly after a few moments later, experiencing guilt as he saw how defeated she looked after hearing his statement.

"I'm very sorry. I should have stopped this marriage from happening... but it's not too late. It's not too late, Eleanor. I know it's unconventional but maybe we can get an annulment. I shall speak to my family's barrister and-".