Dramatic Child Stars

Sixteen

"Are you going to be okay alone here?" I asked, against better judgment.

Riley rolled his eyes and scoffed at me. At least he managed to let the very genuine annoyance show. "I'm fine. Quit being so dramatic. I'm busy anyways."

"Are you?" I inquired genuinely.

"Of course," he said. "I have things to do. I need to clean."

"Clean?" I repeated. It was a question, but it sounded a bit more like I was just echoing him.

"Yep," Riley said. "I need to clean."

Riley nodded like that made any sense at all and then started across the living room towards the hallway. I had enough time to open my mouth for a response when he was already practically gone. As he crossed through the second doorway, Leah made her way past him into the living room carrying Flynn and wrinkling her nose.

"Your friend smells like a decaying body," she informed me once Riley was hopefully out of earshot down the hall. "Do you think he knows that?"

I narrowed my eyes at her slightly. It hadn't escaped me to notice she was referring to him as 'my friend' rather than his name almost exclusively since her return.

I thought about replying. Then I thought about how she'd ran with Flynn and how I'd pathetically let her go. I couldn't let that happen again. If that meant walking on eggshells for the time being then that's what I'd have to do.

I angled my eyes away from her to the baby in her arms. Flynn was smiling my direction somehow endlessly unbothered by the odd and quiet tension that floated through the home. His content and nearly toothless smile made it okay to leave things unsaid. I couldn't rely on that forever, but I could do it for a day.

"You guys ready then?" I asked, forcing a smile.

Leah nodded and we were out the door shortly after. On the way out, I glanced down the hall and saw Riley standing still as a statue infront of the bathroom door with a determined look on his face. I hoped that meant he planned on taking care of himself at some point.

The car ride to my parents home is a long one. I always drove, while Leah sat in the passenger seat keeping me company. Flynn had become accustomed to this pattern early on. He was always asleep within a few minutes of the car ride starting. I'd always help that along by playing children's lullaby music at the start of the ride. Once I saw his eyes flutter closed in the rear view mirror, I always switched it out for something else. Leah liked some local bands in the city. I didn't know their names.

The drive was at least familiar in a comforting sort of way. The house on the hill in the Tillamook forest had belonged to my grandparents when I was young. My parents and I lived there until the move to Los Angeles. We'd make the drive into Portland regularly for the musicals and theatre productions I was doing. My mom and I would always stop at one of the old mountain stores for snacks along the way. Even after my grandparents died and the house became ours, it still kept the intense feeling of family and home in it all. I was always thankful that feeling never went away.

Eventually Leah also dozed off like she sometimes did and I was alone with my own thoughts and recollections. That made it easy to take a deep breath. I steeled myself for what was to come. I practiced my neutral smile in the mirror. I willed away thoughts of resentment and frustration.

"Just for the afternoon," I willed myself to remember quietly.

A short bit later, I was pulling off the highway onto a darker tree lined road. It went down a little ways before the gravel driveway came into view. The rumbling of the uneven path woke Leah up. She reached into the backseat to begin the process of slowly rousing the baby while I settled into a parking spot infront of the dark brickwork two story house that belonged to my father. I took one more deep breath before opening my car door.