✓LOVER BOY | hwang hyunjin

45. Craving

Yeseul felt her heart crawl up in her throat. Was it even surprising anymore to witness Hyunjin being handsome?

The combed back hair, and a black suit as his ball attire was so stupidly mediocre. But this was enough to punch the air out of her lungs. She stared, awestruck. Hyunjin's lips gave in to a delicate smile. The magic spell he could cast on her with barely a swirl of a wand was embarrassing. Yeseul took a step back, her back now against the wall.

"Oh."

"That's all?" Hyunjin tried hiding his amusement by looking around the closet. Yeseul was surprised that the space was big enough for both of them to be standing in it without their bodies being pushed against each other.

What the fuck am I thinking? Curse me.

"Yeseul." Hyunjin's eyes fleeted on her face. "All the silence is scaring me."

"I was fully prepared for my death. Or worse, getting possessed."

Hyunjin chuckled softly at this. He sat down, the hanging clothes sitting on his shoulder. The light from the bedroom was softly peeking in through the crevices of the hangers. Yeseul mirrored him. She gathered her dress, tucking it behind her knees. "Did you feel relieved when you saw me?"

"Hell no!" Yeseul's face dropped. "No. I don't mean it like that." Hyunjin's confusion laced his brows. "I was just surprised. Further."

"I honestly don't know if you were disappointed or what." This was his cue to teasing her.

"Listen, it's not that I was disappointed. I was just... pleasantly shocked."

The boy tilted his head ever so slightly. Yeseul could feel her chest combust. "You are so fun to tease."

"You are so awful." Yeseul felt a blazing red cover her cheeks. She was thankful for the darkness between them.

The following silence was deep. Hyunjin's soft gaze caught Yeseul's. He didn't look away. "Are you enjoying the night?"

Yeseul had to remind herself to breathe. "I did. Although your sister has successfully managed to traumatise me when it comes to ouija." She looked at her shoes, smiling unknowingly.

Yeseul was unaware of the haywire she had created in Hyunjin's heart. He felt his chest drumming. The space around them felt like it caved in with each breath held. Hyunjin watched how close his hand was to hers. The closet seemed to shrink around them, making their presence more palpable, more intimate.

"She had asked me to look for you."

Yeseul's head jerked up. "They both planned this?"

Hyunjin just smiled. "You are bad at hiding your disappointment."

"How stubborn can you get?" Yeseul sighed. "I saw you talking to grandma. How did it go?"

Hyunjin slowly nodded. "It was good. Felt strange to hear her so close. Felt like someone is trying you tend to your wounds but each touch hurts despite it being for good. Do I make sense with this silly analogy?" His gaze was bare with softness.

"It's not silly. And yes, you do make sense." Yeseul swallowed hard. "And you'll heal from this. No matter what happens after this, I know you will get through it. It will all be so worth it."

"One of these days I'll fall so badly for you, and you'll be the one at fault." Hyunjin muttered under his breath. Yeseul caught up on it.

The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them enclosed in this moment of shared intimacy. Their heartbeats synchronised, echoing in the silence. The sounds from the outside were muted, the laughter and music now distant whispers. In this confined space, time took on a different quality, as if it stretched and molded itself to their emotions.

Yeseul fell silent. Her eyes burnt in his. Some sort of a pull was suddenly birthed between them. She felt lightheaded. Time stood still, as they discovered the beauty of vulnerability, the intoxicating dance of uncertainty, and the breathtaking possibility of what could be.

Hyunjin let out a shaky breath. "Your silence terrifies me."

"This terrifies me." Yeseul felt a blooming feeling rest in between her lungs. "Whatever we have going on. I like this so much. It's scary that I can touch it, but I can't claim it. You practically did do something that managed to make this all feel so right. But I feel distant at the same time."

Hyunjin sat up, turning to face her. His knees touched hers, and his mind was open to all that she needed to let out. "What does this mean? Aren't you happy?"

"I am. Hyunjin, I'm so happy to be your friend. But, are we even friends? The whole thing feels so odd. There aren't any borders where we stand at, neither are there any clear passages that I can jump across with no fear." Yeseul could feel prickliness in her throat. She felt embarrassed.

"You don't want to be friends?" Hyunjin's mind didn't align with his words. The blood rush to his head was too loud. He craved the girl in front of her in words that don't bring out the physical love only, but something far greater than words could explain.

"Are you stupid?" Yeseul let out a soft laugh. "You want me to put things out word to word?"

"You don't think you're the only one who feels this, right?"

There was static in Yeseul's ears. The sounds and music from outside the four walls melted away in summer dreams. She felt a yearning pick at her skin. There wasn't much to hide behind anymore. All she could see was a boy in front of her that she met through a chance event of their glasses getting exchanged, or perhaps the accidental friendship they bonded over through late text messages.

"Hyunjin."

He couldn't hold back. He moved in, his heart a hum of dulled out desires. This was a way to mend what wasn't before. The space between the two closed in, their skins initiating a soft contact. Hyunjin cupped her face, pulling her in the kiss. Yeseul sat up, her hands on his waist. The euphoria formed reduced them to being one breath. Their bodies were so close bound, yet it wasn't enough. Yeseul's hands accidentally slipped under Hyunjin's blazer. She felt his back turn tense. He pulled away, eyes glossy from wonder. He kissed her deeper. The two stumbled back, now confined in the corner. Yeseul was scared at how perfect this felt. The logic of numbers was numbed out. All she knew was him. That's all she could sense now.

"STOP PUSHING ME." A loud clamour interrupted the two.

"Where is Yeseul noona?"

"Oh my God." Yeseul cursed beneath her breath. The two jumped apart as though their contact burnt. Hyunjin straightened his clothes, his hair, then he finally took a long look at Yeseul.

"I hate them so much for this."

The pair had to muffle their laughter. Hyunjin interlaced his fingers with Yeseul's. "Don't you dare think this is done." He had to look away to keep himself from touching her again.

"You need to leave before they open the door themselves."

Hyunjin held up hands of defeat. "Okay, okay."

"HYUNJIN, WHERE DID YOU DIE?" Jeongin could be heard in the hallway. Hyunjin rushed out, leaving behind a whiff of cramped clothes, and a new found feeling.

When Jeongin saw his face, he could read the whole act.

"You bastard. She got you blushing hard."