✓LOVER BOY | hwang hyunjin

33. Elixir

Hyunjin left wordlessly when the house had fallen asleep. He slipped into his mother's car, and drove off towards the place he was convinced he never would have seen after the accident. His heart was thumping hard enough to numb his ears. The forest neared, and as soon as he reached the blue stairs, he stopped, not even closing the door of the car. The darkness was barely helping him. He tripped over the grown weeds, but he could barely care to look down at his scrapped knee at the moment. The air was chilly, and it hurt his chest so hard. But Hyunjin didn't have the time to take a break. The cabin neared, and his anxiety flooded out of his heart.

The door flew open as soon as he knocked. An unknown face greeted him. Hyunjin barely breathed. "Is she okay?"

"She is highly distressed. We tried helping her, but she has been very unresponsive."

"She's having a panic attack." Hyunjin stated. Jinho was at loss of words. That made so much sense. Hyunjin dug his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a small bottle of pills. "Please give her two of these. It takes 20 minutes at most to work."

Jinho was confused at why this person won't step inside. "You can come in, you know? I'm sure she'll feel better after looking at you."

"No."

"What?"

Hyunjin could swear his heart was about to burst.

"I can't see her. Is she in her room right now?"

Jinho nodded. "Yes. We carried her to the bed since she was cold."

"Please don't tell her I'm here." Hyunjin rushed in. He walked towards the cupboard. His hands assisted him through the mess. He finally seemed to find the box. Pulling it down he looked at Jinho who was now standing beside him. "Did she seem to have difficulty in breathing?"

"Yes."

"Here. Two pumps will help." He handed him an inhaler. Jinho quickly took them.

"Are you sure you can't come and see her personally?"

Hyunjin stayed quiet. "She liked being held during this. If you don't feel troubled, please at least hold her hands."

Jinho quickly left. Hyunjin felt tears pricking at his eyes.

"Hyunjin?"

Yeseul walked into the room, expecting anyone but him to be standing there. "What are you doing here?"

Hyunjin was just as taken aback to see her. He sucked at his cheeks, trying to hold back his tears. "Hey. That was you on the phone?"

Yeseul's shoulders softened. She could catch the breaking of his voice. It made sense. She saw what threaded him to this house at 2 in the morning. "Are you okay?"

"No." He didn't hesitate to hide the pain this time. He blinked away, refusing to see her in the eye. He wished the ground could take him in, because he couldn't carry the weight of the thought that Yeseul happened to see him in such a low state.

"Do you think you still can't see her?"

"Yes."

"But what if she misses you?" Yeseul walked ahead. The light was dim, and the need to stay close was too strong. She wished she could comfort him in some way.

Hyunjin scoffed. He hung his head low. The hair shadowed his eyes away from her. Yeseul slowly slipped her fingers in his. She could feel him flinch at the contact, but he didn't push her away. "You're bleeding."

"I'm a clumsy mess." Yeseul smiled at this. She tugged at him. "Let's get you cleaned."

Hyunjin didn't protest. His brain was drifting off into dark spaces. He knew being alone wouldn't do much good, so he allowed her to take him up the stairs to the bedroom.

Yeseul felt the nervousness eating her up hollow. She didn't want to take a wrong step that might hurt him further, so she stayed quiet through the process. Hyunjin sat at the edge of the bed while Yeseul went in the attached bathroom to grab a handful of tissues and towels. She made the towel wet by warm water and came into the room, swallowing down the pain she felt to see Hyunjin in such worn out state. She sat down on her knees, and took hold of his hands. He winced when the towel came in contact with the bare skin. Yeseul muttered a sorry, and resumed to delicately wipe off the dirt from the wound.

"How did you both find her?"

Yeseul looked up, smiling. "It's a long story."

"He... is he a friend?" Hyunjin hesitated to hear the reply. Yeseul walked back to the sink to wash off the towel.

"Jinho?" Yeseul chuckled, sitting again on the carpet to clean the wounds on Hyunjin's knees. "He's my brother."

"Oh."

"What's with the reaction?" Yeseul glanced up. She felt her stomach drop when she found Hyunjin crying. His cheeks were wet with tears. "Hey, Is everything okay? Did I hurt your wound?"

Hyunjin smiled through the tears. "Do you think I'm a child?"

"Hey," she came closer, trying to wipe his tears with the spare tissues. "She'll be fine. I promise. Jinho will take good care of her."

"She still hates me." Hyunjin looked up, sighing. Crying made his throat to fill up with a knot.

"No. I don't think she does." Yeseul held his hand in hers. "If only I knew it earlier that you were his grandson, I would have ran to you saying that I finally found your elixir."

"What do you mean?" Hyunjin looked down at their hands.

"She talked about her grandchildren. About the sleepovers she missed, and the people she wished to hold again. But she said she felt scared. She takes a lot of the blame for things she did in anger. I'm sure she meant you when she said that."

Hyunjin felt an ease flood him. Maybe Yeseul was right. Maybe. Maybe.

"Can you please see if she's doing better?" Hyunjin took the spoiled tissues. "I'll take care of these myself."

Downstairs Jinho warmly watched the sleeping figure. He pulled the blanket over her, and slowly walked out of the room. Yeseul was walking down the stairs. She smiled, heading towards him. "Is she okay?"

"Yes. She fell asleep."

"Thank God." Yeseul heaved out a sigh of relief. She was about to head upstairs to tell Hyunjin about it, but Jinho called her back. He pushed a piece of folded paper in her hand. Yeseul unfolded it. She smiled softly at the picture of a younger Hyunjin.

"She was holding onto this. I managed to take it from her only when she fell asleep."

"I'm sure she treasures this a lot."

"It looks like her grandson." Jinho grinned, looking down at the picture.

Yeseul snapped her head up. "Dude, did I tell you her grandson is Hwang Hyunjin?"