Steel Horizon

Chapter Twenty-One

The streets were silent and haunting and only my muffled footsteps could be heard on the snow. Since I left Kaileb I hadn't seen or heard any Scrappers. Either they went after the other humans or they left—I didn't know.

Until I saw Silas.

His slippery form stepped out from the shadows, already smiling like he'd won a game. "Going back for him?" he asked.

I stopped to keep my distance from him. "Just leave me alone, Silas. If you don't know already, you're the last person I ever want to see." I continued on before he stopped me, grabbing my arm.

"I always thought it was him," he said. "From the moment I saw him, I knew he was hiding something."

I could hear his smile and turned to see it. I stopped myself from forming a fist.

"Why do you care so much? It was no secret you hated Jude, but why did you have to expose him like that? He never did anything to you."

"You think I did it because I hated him?" He laughed. "I did it so I could live." Silas brought something small and square from his pocket, glowing silver under the moon with a glowing blue light in the center. Blinking.

I backed away a step. "What is that?"

"They told me if I could find him, they would let me live."

The truth behind his words sunk in. "You told them to come. All of this is because of you."

"Anybody would have done the same thing if they were caught."

"That's where you're wrong, Silas. I don't think any of us would have done that. Not even to you. How could you expose us all just to save yourself?"

"They were going to kill me!" He stepped forward and jabbed a finger into his chest.

"Now they're going to kill us all." I laughed once, humorlessly. "I almost feel sorry for you. If I did the same thing, I wouldn't be able to live with my myself."

For the first time, Silas was out of words.

"But I forgive you," I said. "Everyone makes mistakes, even ones as big as the one you made. Goodbye, Silas."

I turned away, not able to stand the sight of him for one more minute. I started back down the road and willed him from my mind. I could see the fallen lamppost up ahead, every step I made cracking my heart into smaller pieces. When I got there I could only stare at the place he was less than an hour ago. The moon shone down from above and made the cold air sink deeper into my bones with my loss.

I was too late.

I sunk down to the ground and leaned against a chunk of cement that came from some demolished building. By the time a minute passed, I was already frozen. The ground underneath me was just as cold as everything else and brought no warmth.

After a moment of thinking and deciding what I should do, I told myself I wasn't going to let Jude go back to that place alone. I was ready for them to find me, so I just waited. Giving up wasn't as hard as I thought. Maybe it was hope Jude and I would still, somehow, get out of this alive. It would never happen, but something I clung to.

My pathetic reasons for living before were nothing compared to what I felt for him. I didn't care about finding Walmarts or the next stale bag of chips. There was no more worrying over when I would eat next, or when the next human would step into my path. There was only him and me. Nothing else seemed as important, not even the Scrappers that still roamed our planet.

What was the point of living if you didn't have anything to live for? That's the thing I had been searching for all this time. I wasn't about to let it go so easily.