inspirations // harry styles

chapter forty // blame it on the rain.

Perhaps somebody won't be miserable tonight, it'll be a nice change of pace around here...

Harry's POV

I pull the tight tie hanging around my neck loose as I take big strides down the empty hallway. Tears prick in my eyes as I hear our brand new CD play over the speakers of the lobby for all to hear.

Listening to the songs I wrote for Olivia literally cause me pain. I didn't care at all about the weird looks I receive as I sprint as fast as my legs will allow, out of the venue. There's no way I could sit here and listen to those songs full of memories.

The album itself is a reminder of the biggest mistake of my life.

Fresh air is the only thing I need right now, otherwise I'll be sick all over this venue and this obnoxiously expensive suit I'm stuffed in.

I push the heavy front door open, revealing a rainy night sky. The down pour coming from the sky doesn't hold me back. I step out and savor the sound of the raindrops hitting the pavement. It gives me the smallest sort of comfort.

But I deserve all this.

The only person that is at fault for this is myself; it's not Louis and Zayn's fault for convincing me to do this; it's not Summer's fault for revealing it all; it's not Olivia's fault for making me fall as hard as I did.

I'm completely responsible for everything.

Anger pumps through my veins as I let the raindrops fall down my face, hiding the tears that have joined them. I can't even look up at the night sky, knowing all I'll see is Olivia among the stars. I hate knowing she's under those same stars somewhere, not with me.

The stars went from being my second favorite thing in the world, to my least. It's the reason I don't go out with the boys as night. I'd rather shut myself in my apartment, closing all the blinds and pretending the stars and the moon doesn't exist.

I can feel the deep rumble of the thunder beneath my feet. My arms go limp at my side as I stand in the middle of the busy LA street. I close my eyes and let the rain hit my face, starting to shiver ever-so-slightly.

Whispers from those passing by me start to trail into my ears. I know it's not long before word of my breakdown gets out and every paparazzi company in the business is racing over here. Instead of hurrying inside, I tune it all out and outstretch my arms.

"Why?" I whisper into the rain, the drops hitting my lips, making me long for a certain pair of soft, pink lips once again.

With my eyes squeezed shut, I can pretend the raindrops falling on my skin is the tingles I would receive whenever she would touch me with her gentle fingertips. It's funny what has become of myself; forcing pleasantries with closed eyes. That's all I have left.

And if that's all I have left, I'll take it. I'll spend the rest of my life reliving this short-lived summer. Those nights I spent doing absolutely nothing with her; those nights I did everything with her; they'll all be replayed like the scenes of my favorite movie.

My knees start to buckle and shake beneath the pressure of everything; the pressure to keep going; the pressure to pretend like everything's fine to everyone in the world; the pressure to make things right again.

"Harry!" Louis' voice calls out the front door to the venue.

I glance behind me to see all of the lads and Ed looking at me with the deepest concern. They're flailing their arms aimlessly, trying to get me to come back inside. Zayn takes a step out of the door, towards me, and I take off.

I rush out in the street, darting my way through traffic. Cars honk at me and people throw up their middle fingers, assuming I'm some dumb teenager who's trying to be funny.