Chapter 5

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My arm! 

Your left arm felt like it was on fire. 

It's burning. 

The pain is threatening to tear me to pieces. 

The fire I'm feeling on my bare skin. It's wild and unpredictable.

I'm burning up.

I haven't felt like this since... since I stopped feeling powerless.

Since I'd seized power for myself.

You winced and sat up in bed. Clutching your arm to your chest, you let out a silent scream. 

It hurts.

It hurts so so much.

You ran to the bathroom and held your arm under cold water. 

When the pain subsided, you leaned against the wall, panting. 

I can't let anyone see me like this...

Wait, what time is it? 

You glanced out the window to see that it was still nighttime. 

"I should go on a walk." Changing into your harbinger uniform and slipping your glove on, you headed outside.

A/N: Harbinger uniform is whatever you want it to be. You're a catalyst user so no need to think about movement restriction. 

"Lady Y/N where are you-" The guard at the door jumped at your sudden appearance.  

"I'm going on a walk. No need to send anyone to follow me. I'll be fine." 

Step after step, you walked outside the gates and to the Statue of Seven at windrise. 

When you got there, you touched the statue. The numbing pain you were still feeling subsided and you relaxed. It had been hard to keep any traces of the pain you were feeling to show on your face. 

You did have quite a large pain tolerance, but not when your scar started acting up. 

You placed your hand on your left arm after yanking your glove off. It was still hot. 

You sighed and found the path to Dargonspine. 

When you got there, you sat down on a small boulder and scooped up some snow. 

Covering your arm with it, you tried to cool down. 

Ugh, I'm still on edge.

You were paranoid and jumpy, afraid to let others see you in your vulnerable state.

When a branch cracked, you jumped up and swirled around while simultaneously pulling your glove back on.  

"Who's there?" 

Red hair and eyes, black clothes, a claymore...

"Wait... Diluc?" 

"Oh. It's you." 

"Ha. Well, at least you're better than some random fatui." 

"Really? You're avoiding your work now?" 

Maybe I'm losing my mind... But I want to joke around, to talk to him like we used to.

"Do you know how much paperwork there is? I stay up all night if I even miss a day's work!"

He looks surprised. He probably didn't expect me to talk with him like this because of the conversation we had...

"Why are you out here? It's late." 

"Same goes for you. You didn't sleep this late-" You stopped yourself from continuing. 

"Do the fatui plans have something to do with Dragonspine?" 

His tone turned cold again.

"I can't tell you. Why don't you join my legion and find out?" 

"...No." 

"Yeah I know. You despise the Fatui." 

"Then why-" 

In a sudden rush of anger, you glared at him and started yelling. 

"Why do you think? Why do you think I joined the Fatui four years ago? I was 18. And I endured it all!" 

"..." 

You spoke again. Quieter this time. Your anger had died out.

"Don't hate me for it. Please don't hate me Diluc." 

You didn't want to see the expression on his face. You whirled around and walked away. Slowly enough so it didn't look like you were running. 

What expression was on his face?

Pity?

Disgust? 

Sorrow? 

Hate? 

No. I made my decision. I can't turn back on it now.

Not the decision I made four years ago. 

Not the decision I made two years ago. 

Not the decision I made today. 

Not the decision I made now.

Even... Even if I regret it.

Oh dam# it. Dam# it all to hel#!

By the time you made it back to the hotel it was morning. You encompassed your fist in water and punched a wall. 

The fatui soldiers came running towards you. 

"Lady Helia! What's wrong?" 

"It's nothing. I'm fine. If none of you have anything important to report... Leave!" 

All of them hurried away except for one. 

"Ummm My lady-" 

"Lady Helia. Not 'my lady'" You snapped at him. Your patience was running thin. 

"Oh. Um Yes. Lady Helia..." 

"Get to it." 

"The plan is ready to commence Lady Helia." 

"I see. Alright. Gather everyone who can be gathered without suspicion arising from the knights into the basement." 

"Yes ma'am!" The recruit rushed away after handing you the letter. 

You opened it and sighed. 

As expected. Short and to the point.

How cruel. 

Playing favorites and treating me like I'm worse than everyone else so I perform better. 

Powerless. 

I'm still so powerless. 

You let out a long breath. 

I need to snap out of it.

I can't let anyone see me vulnerable. 

I am a Harbinger!

You headed down the stairs to the basement. Step after step you took, the weaknesses, fears, pain, and everything that made you feel powerless were incinerated. 

I am Helia. The 12th Harbinger.

A/N: avhiorgvsohubhjikadeoydfhvrnbjvsdlwefhndjlfiudejbvqnmdjslcnjixou

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