On the Way Down

Chapter Fourteen

I can't say he didn't warn me. "It's fine. I don't care what Chaz thinks of me." And I don't, even if finding out what he said just sent embers of rage coursing through me. The man had a lot of nerve to invoke my name in something he knew nothing about.

"I did. I cared a lot. He was blaming you for everything I did to myself and to our relationship, and he was attacking your talent and talking absolute garbage. It went too far, and I snapped. That's when I punched him. He defended himself and fought back, of course, and it escalated from there."

I let this sink in, trying to process the story the tabloids didn't tell about what happened. Phoenix's brawl with Chaz has always been cited as the tipping point that cost him his career and ran him out of Hollywood.

"That entire thing was because of me?" Dazed doesn't even start to describe how I feel about this.

"No." He takes my other hand now, so he's holding both of them. "None of it was because of you. It happened because I was a few drinks past wrecked already and Chaz ran his mouth. He was also drinking, and neither of us was being reasonable. I wouldn't have punched him if I'd been less intoxicated than I was. I wouldn't have let it go, but I would have handled it differently."

I take a moment to mull this over, glancing out at the water as I do. We're miles down the coast from where we started. What began as a light breeze a few minutes ago picks up now with a stronger, chillier burst of air that raises goosebumps along my bare arms. I release Phoenix's hands so I can reach for my sweater, but he must see the goosebumps because he's on it before I make a move. He drapes the sweater over my shoulders and runs his hands up and down my arms a few times, restoring warmth to my skin.

"Thank you." I pull the sweater tight across my chest, even though the wind has subsided again.

"For what it's worth, Chaz apologized for what he said later. He admitted he was trying to get under my skin because he was angry and didn't understand why I was throwing my career away."

I squint at him against the blinding rays of the evening sun. "You talked to him after that? The tabloids made it sound like there was a war between you two, and that he got you kicked out of your next film and shunned by all the studios and execs."

"He called me a couple of days later, after we'd both cooled off and I'd had time to recover from my trip to the emergency room that same night to have my stomach pumped."

"Why didn't one of you say something to set the record straight?"

I'm at a loss to understand this. Either one of them could have stopped the barrage of headlines and rumors that grew like a tumbleweed with each passing day, instead of letting the tabloids torpedo Phoenix's reputation and career.

"I didn't care what they said about me, and I didn't want your name brought into it. The paps would have hounded you, especially since your career was taking off and people knew who you were. Chaz agreed not to talk about what happened on the condition I entered rehab. He helped me get out of the contract I'd signed for his next film so I could."

There's defending someone's honor, and then there's this. I stare down at my palms, quiet while my mind strings together the scenes of a story I couldn't have predicted. I don't know what to make of it yet, but one thing has become clear. Phoenix wasn't kidding when he said he never stopped caring about me.

"Is rehab where you went when the tabloids claimed you were in hiding?"

"Yes. Chaz had connections that got me into a facility in Antigua, which kept my location under wraps and kept me from leaving when it got rough. I wasn't convinced rehab would work for me, since I'd tried it once before then and checked myself out after six days, but I went. The only people who knew were Chaz, my family, and Len."