Nice to meet you. I love you. |BTS JIMIN HS FF|

18

It was already quite late, so Taehyung and Iyera went to... sleep. But at least they were quiet, so we can't complain.

Jimin passed out pretty early in the evening, leaving me alone with Jungkook. The best and the worst thing that can happen.

He sat next to me as soon they left, and put his hand on mine.

'Jungkook-'

'No one is here but us. No one can hear or see. Relax.' I'd lie if I said that his fingers over mine didn't feel good, but I can't do this. Not now. Not here.

'That's not the problem.' I pull my hand away

'What happened to everything you told me only days ago? You clung to me like your life depended on it, and now I can't even do this?' He whispers, coming even closer

'It was a mistake. I never should have said or done those things. That's my own fault.' I whisper back, staring at the fire in front of me

'Then we can make more mistakes.' His tone changed, and so did his behaviour. He reached over to my face, turning my chin to him in the gentlest manner

'Jay-'

'Shhh. Don't talk.' He pressed his lips ever so softly on mine, making my heart want to explode

I tried to pull away, but he ran his hand into my hair, pulling me closer, trying to deepen the kiss. 'Just love me.' He whispers, then kisses me again

'I've loved you too much already. I think it's about time that changes.' I say, pulling away

'Baby, we both know you can't just stop. You don't even even wanna try.' He smirks. 'Who else are you gonna love? Him?' He motions at the tent where Jimin is sleeping

'Who I love is none of your business. It could be him. It could be someone completely different.'

'Why do you keep putting up that fake front for? I know you don't mean a single word you just said.' He caresses my face

I take his hand and remove it from my face. 'Just because my front is weak, it doesn't mean it's fake. I just gotta work on it.'

'You say all these things so confidently, but the moment I touch you, everything crumbles. Is that what you want? Do you want me to tear down all of your walls?'

Do I? What do I even want?! Him or to be away from him? To love him or to hate him?

'Jungkook, why are you doing this?' He never answers. He always dodges the question

'Back to it?' He chuckles

'I'm serious. You never gave me an answer. I deserve to know.' I insist

I did not expect a blatant answer that would hurt me this much.

'Because I can. Because I know I can do whatever, and you'll take me back the moment you see me. Because you are so pathetically in love with me that you would do anything for a single moment with me. And because I'm a selfish ass who is using you without any shame or guilt.'

The fire in front of me doesn't burn as much as my tears do. He says the most cold, vile things. He doesn't pick and choose his words. He doesn't care if he hurts me.

'Is that what you wanted to hear, baby?' He lifts my face, smirking at my tears. 'Do you feel better now that you know?'

I couldn't utter a word. I just kept crying silently, looking into his dark, black eyes that reflected the flames.

Like the weak idiot I am, I didn't bat an eye at him planting a kiss on my lips. He pulled away with a smirk. 'I love how weak you are for me.'

That was the last thing he said before leaving me as a broken, crying mess on the ground, going into his tent.

I just want to jump into this fire in front of me and burn away. I do not want to exist.

I hid my face into my knees, hiding my quiet sobs.

I did almost have a heart attack when I felt arms hugging me.

I looked up to see Jimin smiling gently at me. The flames moving about were casting shadows on his face.

'Come here.' He whispered, opening his arms for me to lean into him and cry. 'There you go. Get it all out.' He stroked my hair until I stopped crying. He just sat there in silence, not moving, not saying a word.

'How. Much. Did you. Hear?' I pushed the words out between the quiet sobs that I tried to keep down

'I can say everything or nothing. Whichever you prefer.' He kept that tiny, comforting smile. He wasn't even judging me. And he should. God knows I judge myself more than anyone ever could.

'Do you want to talk about it?' He asks and I shake my head in response, miming to him that Jungkook is probably listening to us

'He is not worth it.' He whispered so quitely that even I barely heard him, and wiped my tears gently

'I know.' I only started a new stream of tears with those two words

'Is there anything I can do to help?' He whispers again

I have no idea what he could possibly do. Or why would he. But now looking at him, there is only one thing on my fuzzy, messed up mind.

I definitely caught him by surprise when I put my hand under his jaw, trying to pull him in slowly.

'Yeona.' He whispered my name with his eyes wide open in surprise

Instead of answering, my eyes fell on his lips, and in his moment, that's all I can see.

'Yeona, I don't think you wanna do this.' His tone was gentle, caring

'You wanted to help.' I argue, looking back into his eyes

'This... I don't think this is going to help you.'

He is right. In going off the deep end. I'm really crazy. This is not fair to him. And what the hell am I even thinking.

'I'm sorry.' I apologize, pulling my hand away. 'I shouldn't have done that.'

'It's okay.' He lifts my face. 'I know you're hurting.'

'What do I do?' I feel more tears coming. 'Tell me what to do, Jimin.'

'Move on.'