Chapter 20 - Present

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"Hey." Liam smiled, opening his apartment door. "I'm glad you're here."

I followed him inside. "Yeah, me too." It had been a few days since I'd last seen him, after Mason had interrupted our date, leading to the most awkward Bachelor-viewing experience I'd ever had. For weeks now I had felt like my relationship with Liam was waning, and I wasn't sure why. It had been happening before Mason even walked back into my life — and my apartment. I didn't feel as close to him anymore, not like I had when we first started talking.

"Did you have any specific plans for tonight?" Liam asked over his shoulder, grabbing a blanket from the bin near his couch.

I sat on the couch, watching as he sat down a few inches from me. Not as close as he would before. No kiss hello, no hug. "Not really." I shrugged. "Just thought we should see each other." Not wanted to see each other, but thought. Like it was expected of us as a couple.

"We could watch something?" Liam's eyes were as kind as ever. I had doubts, but his thoughts on the matter were completely unknown to me. I knew, deep down, we had to talk. But the naive, scared part of me, didn't want to ruin only the second relationship I'd ever had. Did he have the same doubts I did?

A last-minute thought popped into my head as I looked at Liam, waiting expectantly for me to answer him. A fail-safe. I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but I did love Liam. And I wanted to see what would happen.

So I jumped his bones.

I bridged the gap on the couch between us and threw my arms around Liam's shoulders, planting my lips on his. Liam made a noise of surprise. I'd surprised myself, too. I moved my lips down Liam's neck, pulling his shirt collar back so I could reach his bare chest.

Liam stiffened, pushing my shoulders back with gentle fingers. "Emma, stop." He sighed. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" I placed my lips back on Liam's neck, my fingers lifting the bottom of his shirt up until they felt bare skin.

"Emma, seriously, stop," Liam said, again pushing back against my advances.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, my voice breaking. Maybe he just didn't want to be intimate, which I would never blame him for, but this felt deeper than that. Like he felt something was wrong. "Are you attracted to me still?" I couldn't help but blurt out, ashamed by how whiney I sounded. Tears threatened to emerge.

"What?" Liam looked incredulous. His face was flushed and his shirt was askew. "Of course I am, Emma, you're beautiful. I love you. But can't you feel it?"

"Feel what?" I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say.

"We're growing apart, Emma. This," he gestured between us, "feels more like friends to me now." He grabbed my hand.

"Sooooo..." I leaned in to kiss his lips again, feeling motivated by the hand touch. "That's why we should do this."

Liam turned his head away, and my lips brushed his cheek. "Emma, that's not what I'm saying. This feels wrong."

"What are you saying, then?" My voice threatened to get more hysterical, even though I knew he was right. What was I even trying to do, trying to fix, with sex? I was in the wrong mindset, and I didn't know how to get out.

Liam sighed. "I don't know, Emma. I need to think about it." He ran a hand through his hair. "You should go. We should both get some sleep."

"It's 2am."

"You can take my bed; I'll sleep on the couch."

All of a sudden, I really just wanted to be in my own bed, in my own apartment. It was still my safe space, regardless of the ex-boyfriend I lived with. "I can call an Uber."

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