{CHAPTER 17} - LONLINESS

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In the afternoon Pretty girl spent her time locked in her room.

It was vacant which was a perfect opportunity.

No disturbances, and a bit of piece, and quiet was what she needed most. She shut the blinds, and turned on a single desk lamp.

She laid out all her material on the table. She conjured up a mental map. She reflected what steps should be taken to appropriately tackle this mission.

She whipped out her red pen, while underlining focal points.

She was overwhelmed.

Sure she technically didn't have much on her plate, though could you blame her for feeling swamped?

The day progressed on, meanwhile she was hung up on the past.

Continuously fixating on the same sheet. Her eyes glossed over as tears fell onto her paper. The suffocating aura of loneliness caved in.

The thought of being alone, having no one there, was devastating. Yet a bit of familiarity.

She blew her nose into a tissue, and clumsily dabbed her eyes with her sweater. Her fingers massaged around her temples. Relaxing whatever she could.

Containing her whimpers she rolled her eyes, avoiding any more unwanted tears. Swallowing was the only thing that managed to easy her swollen throat.

Truthfully, was anyone really there?

Whenever she'd bring up the incidents that transpired she'd down play the parts people played. In a deflective way, she'd defend them.

Subconsciously justified what they had done.

Not saying that she didn't think what they did was good, however, she'd convince herself that it wasn't bad either.

Yet, deep down inside she knew she was alone. She couldn't deny the loneliness.

She knew what she had to do, still it was easier said then done. There was always the possibility if she were to act upon her wishes her situation could turn disastrous.

However, What was there left for her to lose? She just needed to fall. Something clicked, something changed. She wanted to fall, maybe to see if she could change her life.

Pretty girl made a mental list of responsibilities she needed to complete, hoping they were the right decisions.

Firstly, focus on the quiz. It was vitally important to ace this quiz.

She put that task on the back burner which, currently, caused her to loss valuable time.

Secondly, learning to put herself before others. Teaching herself how to be a little selfish, without any guilt attached.

And lastly, break up with Keil.

Prettygirl needed to break up with him. For both of their sakes. 

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