Homestar Saga

Chapter 109: Shindig

Yvian wandered over to one of the fish trays. The fish were not cooked. She decided not to eat them. One of the robed attendants handed her a bag which turned out to be full of water. It took her a minute to figure out how to drink from the cylindrical tube sticking out of it, but the water was clean and cold, and had that extra something that told her it was full of minerals. Mims and Lissa passed her, heading for one of the hovering fruit platters. Yvian followed. She didn't really want to be left on her own.

Yvian tried one of the fruit. It was... different. Sour, and a little salty. She looked up from the bite she'd taken to see one of the humans approaching. It was the High Commander, General Bartholomew Young. He was just as sweaty as everyone else, his white uniform full of medals plastering itself to his barrel of a chest. He moved with the stiff precision of a military man, stone faced and sharp eyed. One of the other uniformed men moved to follow the General, but he waved him away with a slight shake of his head.

The General came to a stop a meter away. His gaze settled on Kilroy. "Well, I'll be damned. I'd heard the rumors, but I didn't want to believe it." His eyes hardened. "A genuine Peacekeeper unit. Mankind's greatest nightmare, right here in the flesh."

Kilroy's eyes flashed white. "This unit accepts the compliment."

"The most vicious, heartless, murderous things we ever encountered," the General continued. "Cold, efficient, and utterly without mercy."

"Stop," said Kilroy. "You are making this unit blush."

"When I heard you would be here, I advised the Oluken to increase their security." The High Commander's disapproving glare flicked out over the Oluken guards. "They didn't listen. I don't think these people know how dangerous you are."

"Indeed," agreed Kilroy. "They do not." The Peacekeeper unit turned to Mims. "This unit likes this meatbag."

"The feeling isn't mutual." The High Commander's glower did not abate, but he did hold out his hand. "General Bartholomew Young, High Commander of the Stellar Defense Force."

Kilroy shook it. "This unit is designated Kilroy. This unit is a citizen of Pixa and representative of Peacekeeper units within the Pixen Technocracy."

"Nice to meet you, I guess." The High Commander withdrew his hand, then held it out to Lissa. "And how are my two favorite blue girls?"

"Happy to see you," said Lissa. She gave him a firm shake.

"Hot and sweaty," Yvian quipped. The General's handshake was like trading grips with a warm, sweaty rock.

"I didn't expect you here," said Mims, clasping hands as well. "But I can't say I'm not happy to see you."

"You shouldn't be." General Young's brow furrowed. "Me being here means you're in deep shit."

"Yeah?" The Captain's gaze sharpened. "You coming after us, General?"

"Course not." The General snorted. "If it was me you'd never have made it here." He grimaced. "The President's got a hard on for you, Mims. She tried to send a goddamned XTRO strike team. In Oluken space. I had to come here and shut them down." An Oluken attendant wandered by, handing the man a bag of liquid. "Figured I might as well stay for the ceremony."

"A strike team?" Mims spoke quietly, glancing around. "You sure we should be talking about that, here?"

The High Commander shrugged. "The Oluken already know. It's better to be upfront with them than try to hide shit. They hate secrets." He sipped his bag. "What is this, some kind of fruit juice?" He took a bigger sip.

"Why'd the humans send a strike team?" Lissa asked. "I thought you gave up on hunting Mims after Tortuga."

Yvian frowned. It was a good question. Tortuga Sector had been the home of the Freedom Republic pirates, a slaver group backed by the Terran Federation for the express purpose of hunting Mims down. After their defeat, Yvian had met the mastermind behind them. A synthetic intelligence named Reba. Exodus the Genocide had threatened Reba into leaving the Captain alone.

Reba had hid among the humans for centuries, ruling from the shadows. She blamed Mims for the death of her creator's descendants, but the threat of the Xill killing all the humans had been enough to make her back off. If that had changed...

"That was before you gave away our tech." The General finished his juice bag. "What were you thinking, Mims?"

"Didn't have much choice." The Captain shrugged. "Yvian was going to die."

"Me?" Yvian remembered the doctor saying something about a donation. "Wait. What did you give them?"

"He didn't tell you?" The High Commander raised an eyebrow. Yvian looked at the Captain, but he didn't speak. The General snorted. "Guess I ain't surprised. Wouldn't want to look soft, eh, Mims?"

"It's not like that." Mims regarded him coldly. "It was a tactical necessity."

"The human lies." Kilroy flashed the yellow light of amusement. "It is exactly like that."

"She's the only one that can use Lucendian technology," Mims protested.

"It's ok, Mark." Lissa smirked. "We know you love us. You don't have to be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed." The human spoke firmly, face flushed.

"No, seriously." Yvian was becoming increasingly alarmed. "What did you give them?"

"Three Ronin class stealth battlecruisers," the High Commander spoke before the Captain could answer. "Fully outfitted with the finest technology the Terran Federation has to offer."

"Three..." Yvian stared at the man in shock. "Fully outfitted?"

"Damned right," the High Commander growled. "Weapons, stealth systems, Nexus Nodes, jumpdrives, the works." He glared at Mims. "Do you know how hard we've worked to keep that tech out of alien hands?"

"Couldn't have been that hard," the Captain countered. "I took it all from pirates in the Confed."

"Yeah, and we've got the President and XTRO to thank for that." General Young shook his head. "Doesn't change the fact you handed our best tech over to our enemies. The Oluken kept one and gave one to the Taa'oor."

"Those aren't enemies," Mims pointed out.

"They sold the third to the Vrrl."

"Oh." The Captain's calm expression cracked, showing a flash of genuine worry. A jumpdrive in the hands of the Vrrl Starfang Empire was a nightmare scenario. The species prided itself on hunting and eating other sapients. With Jumpdrive technology, they would be able to strike anywhere in the galaxy without warning. No wonder the humans were pissed. "Shit."

"Damn right," the High Commander agreed. He put his hands on his hips. "You're wanted for High Treason. You show your face in Federation space or anywhere we've got an extradition treaty, and you'll be arrested, tried, and executed."

"They can't do that," Lissa protested. "He was acting as part of the Pixen Technocracy."

"Doesn't matter." General Young shook his head again. "The Federation believes in the rule of law. Everyone is held accountable regardless of their wealth, status, or official position."

"It's the only way to prevent corruption," Mims contributed. "Or at least, that's what they teach in school."

"Basically, it doesn't matter if he was acting as a head of state." The High Commander picked up a fruit, sniffed it, then put it back on the platter. "He can be tried and executed just the same."

"But it was my decision, too," Lissa pointed out.

"You're not a citizen," said the General. "You can't be tried for treason." He put his hands on his hip and let out a breath through his nose. "Anyway, you should all watch your backs. As far as the Federation's concerned, you've endangered the whole human race." He spared a glare for Kilroy. "And working with Peacekeeper units doesn't help."

"Incorrect," said Kilroy. "Peacekeeper units are superior and extremely helpful."

"How nice for you." The General turned and walked away. "Take care of yourselves. I'm gonna go see if there's any real food around here."

Yvian watched him leave. Kilroy spoke. "This unit likes that meatbag."

"Yes." A low rumble came from behind Yvian, making her jump. She turned to find nine Vrrl surrounding her. She hadn't heard them approach. Warmaster Skrell Scathach stood in the center. "He will make excellent prey."