My Light, My Jimin

Chapter 36: Counseling

The way Mrs. Juhee stares me down is obvious that she things I'm going to give in, that this will all be over. I look her straight in the eye and wait because what else could she do? Trying to get a confession out of witnesses that are shaken up by a school lockdown could take time; something both of us do not have.

"There's reports of you staying after class on multiple occasions," Mrs. Juhee says to me. She takes a picture and slides it across the desk for me to take. "Surveillance footage shows you exiting a car with the same license plate as Professor Min on two separate dates."

I look at the picture, horror tearing me up from the inside as I recognize myself stepping out of a car, Yoongi's hand visible. This was at the dorms, the first time he dropped me off. My heart sinks.

"Can you confirm this is you and him?" she asks, pointing at the tiny me; the one who had no idea what was coming for him.

Staring at the picture, shaken, I whisper, "It isn't."

"Jimin, the evidence is right in front of us."

I shake my head. "None of this is true."

I'm trapped, confronted by my own inconsistency. Beside me, Jungkook shifts in his seat. He's uncomfortable? That's tough, because I'm drowning and looking for a way out, a life jacket that I'm starting to think never existed in the first place.

Mrs. Juhee reaches over and takes the picture back, hands folded again. "You don't have to lie. This isn't your fault." She rests her hand on the desk in front of me in a reassuring way. "I just need to know what happened, what has happened, between you two. If he's abusing you, we can-"

My head jerks up. "Abusing me?"

"Yes," she says. "There are claims that he cut you with the scissors he stole from the library."

"That's bullshit!"

"Jimin, language," she says firmly. She leans forward, eyes hard. "Whether these claims are true is up for debate, but the bottom line is that Professor Min was found touching you. Actions like that are not permitted on campus property, especially if it concerns a staff of ours."

"He was defending me."

She watches as my eyes smart with tears, but she doesn't look sorry. She looks like she's waiting. That's how everyone has been looking at me- like I'm going to break. Like I'm a monster for loving someone who I should know is out of the question.

Mrs. Juhee adjusts the top of the candy jar again, though the action is pointless. "There is a code of ethics that are expected to be followed by students attending Daegu University," she says. "However, due to the frequent reports of Professor Min's behavior toward you in particular, the consequences of your violation have been lifted in light of the fact that he has been harboring you in his office after hours."

I shake my head the whole time she speaks.

"Options for next semester will be presented to you and your family. We as administration will do everything we can in our power to present you with a better chance for success next school term if you decide to stay with us."

As she continues telling me that I'm free to come by the guidance office any time I feel like it, I realize the obvious: we're not talking about me anymore, we're discussing Yoongi. She's concerned with him touching me, hiding me. No. No. No. This is all wrong. He shouldn't have to be fired for saving my life!

"Okay," Mrs. Juhee says, straightening. "That's enough for now. You are both excused."

Jungkook stands and practically bolts out the door. It takes me a moment to catch my breath before I follow behind. I get out of the administration building and find Eomma waiting for me outside, her keys in hand.

"Are we leaving?" I ask.

"Yes," she says curtly. When I join her side, she walks with me to the parking lot back to her car. "We're cleaning out your dorm and you will be resuming school online."

"What?!"

She clutches the steering wheel. "It's done, Jimin."

"If we're leaving now," I say, focusing on my breathing, "then I need to go do something."

She shakes her head. "You're not leaving my sight. You're coming with me and we're going to the dorms."

"I have to say goodbye to my friends!"

"Who do you need to say goodbye to? The real ones or the imaginary ones?"

I pause, all the air suddenly pulled from my lungs. "What. . . "

"There was no Yoonji. You made it up from the beginning." She looks at me in the rearview mirror with this raw emotion I've never seen her use before, like she wants to be mad, but she's more disappointed with me than anything. "You lied to me."

My fingers curl and dig into the seat. I'm brought back to our ride in the car, the very same that we sit in now, and curse inwardly at myself. How could I ever think this would turn out well? How could it possibly work when the universe has already made up its mind about us?

"Please, don't make me leave," I beg. "What you've heard, everything they're saying, it's all a lie."

"He hurt you!" She breathes hard, her eyes searching. It's not a question of anger; she's scared. She doesn't understand. She's baffled by me, her son. "Why are you protecting him?"

I break down, sobbing as quietly as I can muster. The car noises distract her from me, but I still blubber with tears and snot. All I can whisper is, "It's a lie."

She turns her head and looks at me with pity stretched on her face. "You scare me, Jimin. These things you tell me."

We're stopped at a red light. She sighs against the wheel.

"You're a very good actor," she says. And then tears roll down her face.