Knives & Waterlilies

11. The Letter

*Curtis' Point of View: Letter to Adriana*

Dear Adriana

I just thought I would say that I am not at all proud of what I have done. I don't really have any way of explaining it all but I will start slowly.

Do you remember when you first found Kevin? I remember how jealous Lily was. She always said how lucky you were to have Kevin.

At the time, I liked Lily quite a lot and hearing this made me feel very jealous of him.

One day, I woke up with Toby gone because he apparently had a detention or something. I got changed but when I went into my sock draw. To my horror, I found a knife which had dried blood on it. Somebody had framed me and put the knife in my draw.

I was up for jamming some guitar so I just grabbed it and sat on the bed, but I could not take my mind off the knife in my draw.

That was when I heard a knock on the door. Kevin entered and casually leaned against the door frame, his scars on his wrists exposed. 

"Is Toby around?" He asked.

"Sorry, he's got a detention," I replied. 

Kevin sighed in frustration. "Damn it! Just when Adriana decides to go shopping with Lily." 

He left the room suddenly, but then his hands stayed at the door frame and stopped himself. He turned and looked at me. "Gonna get a cup of tea. This might sound kinda gay but do you want any?"

I was not that bothered honestly, I guess I just wanted him to leave the room. So I just nodded. When he finally left, I heard his feet step down the hall way towards the cupboard where the tea, milk, mugs and sugar is kept.

Somehow, at that moment, I had an idea. It was probably one of the worst ideas I ever had. I put my socks on my hands and lifted up the knife from the draw so no fingerprints were on it. Then I slipped next door to Kevin's room and put the knife under his bed. 

Before he would return, I rushed back to my room and continued fiddling with my guitar. Soon Kevin came in and passed me my tea. I took a quick sip and placed by my bed. 

"Kevin, I need to tell you something," I said. 

He just stared at me. We never really talked much, so I guess it was understandable that he acted surprised. 

"I just want to let you know that your secret is safe with me," I said. Kevin gave me a puzzled look. 

"What secret?"

"You know... What you did to Lily?" 

My acting was unfortunately good. A part of me wishes that I messed it all up so I was not so convincing. 

"What did I do to Lily?" I just stared at him and he got the message. "You mean... You think I stabbed her?"

"Well... That's what I saw anyway..." I subtly stated. 

I was expecting Kevin to chuckle or at least smile, but he instead just stared seriously. He genuinely took what I was saying seriously, so I continued. 

"You didn't look yourself at all. It was like you were in a trance. You followed me to the roof and I saw you slip into Lily and Adriana's bedroom. I thought you were just gonna say hi to Adriana but then you came out with a blood stained knife," I told my story in the most animated way possible. 

"Are you serious?" Kevin said as he sat on Toby's bed. 

That was a question that could totally take back all that I had done. I could just make it a light-hearted joke. I didn't want to say yes, so I just nodded. 

"What if I don't believe you?"

This question came at me more like a challenge.

"You had the knife. Come on, I help search for it in your room," I put the guitar down and left before entering Kevin's room. 

He followed behind. I decided that looking under his bed straight away would be too obvious so I checked his sock draw first. Strangely enough, he started searching. While I check all his draws, he started under his pillow. Luckily for me, he was the one who found the knife. 

The look on his face when he saw the knife was painful to watch. I think I looked at the ground for a bit. Finally my gaze was back on him. 

"What have I done?" He asked. 

I tried to comfort him, I think I did genuinely want him comfortable. "She's alright now. You weren't yourself when it happened."

"But I could have killed her," his voice wobbled. 

"She's fine now. I won't tell anyone about it because it doesn't matter. We will just pretend it never happened," I gave him one last pat on the back before leaving the room to play some guitar. 

A basic way of explaining it is that I tricked Kevin into think he was mad and stabbed Lily that night. 

I promise I never intended for him to kill himself. I wanted him to turn himself in or something but no more than that. 

This whole incident about who stabbed Lily was stressing me out. My mate, Ryan, was getting the blame. Toby was on this mission to work out who it was. Lily was constantly asked questions. I was just sick of it and thought that it would solve my problems. Really, it's made things worse. 

At the end of the day, it may have just been my jealousy. I even got a nickname out of my jealousy from a primary school nativity play.

Anyway, I know it wasn't Kevin. Kevin wouldn't do something like that, but I still don't know who it was. Maybe it was Kevin the whole time? But I really doubt it.

I'm so sorry for what I have done and I understand if  you never want to speak to me again. 

Love Curtis x