lava shipping oneshots

strength

req: kai not letting other people see him weak after Nya's death, but Cole knows.

"I'm fine. I don't show weakness. I am always fine."

For a week now, Kai sat alone in his bed until dawn's sunlight started to bleed into the dark sky, repeating those words until his head spun and he could smell the crisp saltiness in the air on that fateful day. Grief - it was something he knew was inevitable yet it shred his heart into pieces anyway. He knew he was strong, and being alone with just Nya when he was young had taught him how to put worries and sadness aside and lock them up. But this was different. This felt like someone was squeezing his heart mercilessly, waiting for him to finally collapse under the pain. Nya had been the single constant in his life. His parents, his friends, his missions: they were all hectic and hadn't been around for as long as Nya had. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd gone over a week without seeing her, excluding when he was an only child, of course. It was nearing seven whole days without her, and Kai almost expected to see her any moment now. It was cruel and unfair that he never would again. The pressure in his chest came back every time he thought of it. 

So he didn't understand why, apart from on the day, everyone acted like Jay had the biggest loss. They all grieved, and there had been barely any smiles lately, but Jay was treated with extra care, like a box with 'FRAGILE' plastered over it in bright red block letters. Yes, the two were head over heels for each other and Jay spent more time hanging out with Nya, but Kai shared blood with her. She'd seen him weep, laugh, sleep, work. He had seen her learn to walk and say her first word: 'Idiot'. 

Kai tugged at his hair with his hands, letting out a pitiful noise. The familiar helpless feeling seized his chest and he gasped as if trying not to drown. It was ironic that he felt as though he was sinking in his sister's element, the one she had become. 

A rumble in his stomach grabbed his attention and he suddenly fretted that he would start dry heaving without any food in his system. The hunger and the grief didn't mix well - he felt the acidic tang of bile far down in his throat.  

"Come on, Kai," He hissed under his breath, pushing himself off of his chair and out into the corridor for the first time in days. His legs swayed at the unfamilar motion of moving and he stretched his limbs, feeling the cracks and pops of his neglected joints. Kai focused on putting one foot in front of the other, looking like a zombie as he staggered down the steps with dishevelled hair (which he was ashamed about) and musty, week-old pyjamas. His eyes were pink and carrying the weight of thick purple bags. His lips were dry and his skin ghostly. As he entered the kitchen, the ninja there couldn't even muster a joke about his uncharacteristically messy mane. Lloyd gave him a small smile and patted the stool next to his, facing the island where Zane was frying eggs. Cole was leaning against the wall behind the nindroid and Jay had his face down on the dining table. There was a casual small talk going on, but it was sparse and lacked much excitement. 

Kai slid onto the seat beside Lloyd and watched Zane cook, zoning out pretty much instantly. Cole gave him an understanding smile, sending a jolt through Kai's body. That was the first time someone had showed him that sort of... warmth. Care. Sympathy? He didn't have time to react as he became aware of the dull buzz around him - Zane finished up and began pouring servings onto plates and sliding them out. Each plate stopped perfectly at the end of the table in front of each seat. As everyone went to sit, there was a silent acknowledgement of Nya's usual seat. Jay, without a word, stood up and went to one of the drawers. He pulled out a plate and cutlery, then proceeded to set them down in Nya's spot. Kai watched, a guilty anger building inside of him.