The Girl With The Tattoo

10. birthday blues

Sophie

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" Mum sings as she brings out a cake for me "Happy birthday dear Sophie! Happy birthday to you!"

I smile, happily, to show that I appreciate her making such a big deal out of my birthday. Although it is starting to become a little weird, I like that she still sings for me and bakes me a cake. Mom, on the other hand, doesn't enjoy celebrating as much.

She places the cake down on the kitchen table "Now, blow out your candles."

I lean over the cake, before blowing out as much air as I can in order to blow out each of the sixteen candles that mum had put on top of the it.

She claps her hands as I blow out each candle in one big blow. She then grabs her phone to take a quick photo of me with my cake.

"I can't believe it, my little girl is sixteen!" She says, proudly "You're getting so old now, where did time go?"

And then she finally speaks to my mom "Em, do you want some cake?" She offers my mom some cake.

Mom, who is annoyingly immersed in scrolling through her phone, says "Sure... Just leave me a piece for later."

I wish that she'd show me more attention, especially on a day as important as my birthday. She's always so focused on her work and other things that aren't my business, but I wish that she'd have more time for me.

I am her daughter after all but she sometimes puts other things before me.

"Oh, okay. I'll go and cut it up." Mum tells us both.

"Thanks, it looks really yummy, mum." I decide to compliment the cake because I know she spent a lot of time baking it for me.

And, whilst mum is in the middle of cutting the both of us a slice each, my mom's phone starts buzzing which can only mean one thing.

"I'm just gonna go and take this call." She tells the both of us, which isn't a surprise because she's always on her phone "I'll be back as soon as I'm done." 

"Oh, okay." I reply, a sad expression on my face as I realise that my mom would rather take a work call than spend the afternoon with her family.

"Hopefully she won't be long." I hear mom say to me from the kitchen "She's just really busy at the moment with work and stuff."

I shrug "She's always busy with work and stuff." I remind her.

I can tell that mum is a little sad too, but she says "She loves working, she loves her job. Plus, if she didn't have it then we wouldn't have this house or you wouldn't be able to dance at the best school in Ontario."

I shake my head slightly "She still could take a break for my birthday. It's only one day of the entire year! It's not fair how she won't just ignore her calls for this one day that we're actually getting to spend together as a family."

"I don't know, Soph. I can't control what she does." Mum says, and I can tell that she feels terrible for me.

But then, she changes the mood as she brings over both of our slices of cake. It's a beautiful sponge cake covered in different colours of frosting topped with sprinkles. I don't know how my mom manages to make such delicious food for me.

"Here you go." She hands over my slice of cake on a small plate "Enjoy!"

"Thanks, mum. It looks delicious." I, yet again, compliment her baking skills.

We spend some time talking as we both enjoy our slices of cake. I let her have another piece because I know that carrying my little sister can be really tiring, plus she's been craving cake for the past week and a half. But suddenly, I remember something that I'd been meaning to ask her.

"Mum..." I get her attention "Could I ask you something?"

She wipes her lips with a napkin "Yeah, sure."

I inhale deeply as I work up enough courage to ask her my question "Since I'm sixteen now and I'm getting older, would it be okay if I had a friend over this weekend while you and mom are out?"

Her eyes widen slightly as I ask her that, and I know that she's clearly taken aback by the fact that I have a friend "What friend, Soph?"

I gulp "Just a girl from dance that I've made friends with. She's really kind and I like her a lot. I was just hoping that we could spend some time together outside of the studio." I tell her, which is the truth.

"I don't think it will be a problem." She admits to me, and I instantly feel a rush of excitement "I'll talk to your mom about it but it should be fine. As long as the both of you just sit and talk in your room and don't make a mess then it's okay."

"Of course, mum!" I try to convince her that Lexi coming over won't be a problem.

"Well, then I guess she'll be coming over this Saturday." My mum gives me permission to have her come over to the house.

But before I can run off to call Lexi to tell her the good news, I hear mom ask me this "What's her name?"

I smile as I say her name "Lexi."

"Awww, she sounds like a really lovely girl!" Mum says, despite not knowing anything about Lexi at all.

Mum isn't really strict with me so I kind of already assumed that Lexi would be able to come over. I just hope that mom is okay with it because she's the total opposite of mum and she'd be worrying about every little thing that could possibly go wrong.

But I'm a responsible kid, I don't drink and I definitely don't do drugs, so they should know that I'd never do anything irresponsible.

"Okay, I'm gonna go and tell her!" I jump out of my seat.

"Okay, sweetheart." Mum giggles a little at how excited I am right now.

I open the door that leads to the hallway so that I can climb the stairs to my room. But before I can dash down there, I hear my mom talking in her office. She seems mad about something as I can hear her talking in an aggressive tone.

Because I'm quite nosy, I lean my head against the door so I can hear what she's saying more clearly.

"No, you can't fucking cancel tomorrow's rehearsal! Those kids need time to practise before the competition this weekend!" She shouts at whoever is on the other end of the phone "Jesus, living in this house is already stressing me out enough so don't make this any fucking harder for me, Nick!"

I decide that I've heard enough after I hear that last part. I walk slowly to the end of the hallway as I process what she'd just said. It just confirms to me that she probably hates me. I know that I'm not always perfect but I thought that I was a good daughter. Obviously not.