You will always be my person

Chapter 20

Louis' POV

It's midnight.

Thanksgiving is over and it's Friday now. I'm finally confident enough that Harry is asleep. I can't sleep. I just needed him tired enough he wouldn't wake up. I sneak out of the bed and watch as he pulls my pillow to his chest. I grab a black shirt of his from the closet and put on my shorts. With a small sigh I leave the room and make my way outside.

I'm careful not to wake Fred or our two sleeping guests. Guests. I groan taking a beer from the fridge. I type the alarm code into the keypad and wait until it says disarmed. I open and close the door as I walk outside and lay down in my backyard.

Yesterday was great. It felt like...family. I honestly thought nothing would be able to harsh the mood. I also didn't mean to over hear a conversation between Harry and Gemma. They didn't know that I was standing on the balcony taking a smoke break while they were sitting on the porch below. They didn't know I could hear their voices. They keep replaying in my head.

**the day before after dinner**

"Harry. I'm so happy for you." Gemma said but there was something else she wanted to say too.

"Thanks Gem. I'm happy too." I can imagine Harry's smile.

"Is Louis happy?"

"He is. Gemma what's up?"

"I just worry about you...and Louis. It's too much like before. It's also too different. Why haven't either of you said one way or another? I mean I saw the Eleanor thing and there's been speculation again but neither of you have said anything. Why?"

I hear him set his drink down. Feet shuffle. I can see him pacing but he doesn't look up so he doesn't see me. He's running his hands through his hair.

"It's hard to explain Gem."

"Is...are you guys scared?"

He shakes his head. "No. We were...well he was ready to tell the world back before the band broke up."

"Why didn't you?"

"Me." He sits down again. "Lou is very impulsive. He had all the confidence and thought nothing could phase us. I didn't have that confidence and by the time I did...I had lost him. There had been so many fights and words that couldn't be taken back."

Harry. I put my head in my hands. I hate to remember. So many fights. He yelled and threw so many words at me. I threw a shot glass and my phone at the wall breaking them both...two separate occasions not the same fight. It led to us taking a break. Poor Liam and Niall having to witness a fucking divorce practically. No one knew what was going on. I got drunk and slept with El. Harry found out got drunk and slept with Olivia. Then the break turned into a full break up. The place was sold. Closets were emptied. Sides were taken.

"I'm confused. That was then...what about now H?"

"I'm ready Gem. Hell I want to scream it all the time."

"Why don't you?"

"Lou. I can't push him. He hasn't said anything yet. Every time he's asked he doesn't say no but he doesn't say yes either. So I take my que from him. He lost the confidence."

Shuffling. I look over the balcony and she's holding him. He's crying I can tell by his shoulders.

"I'm sorry H. Maybe he needs a push. Maybe he needs you to be the impulsive one. Regardless I'm just glad you're happy. It's nice to see you both smile. And I absolutely adore that little boy."

I smile as I put out my cigarette and go back inside. I find Niall standing on my coffee table doing some dance move making my sisters and El laugh like crazy.