Will you love me?

Chp 9

Abhyudaya's POV:

We were sitting in a local tea shop near our college campus casually talking when we heard the bell.
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The college hours were finally over.

I was walking towards my car just than I collided with someone.

"Sorryy!!" She said.

I have never seen her here, maybe she is new.

But as soon as she saw me she was shocked.

"Are.. tum toh vahi ho na jo abhi uss Gautami ke saath baithe the? Tumhe pata bhi hai wo kaisi hai?"
I was kinda angry on her statement.

"I would suggest ki tum uske saath mt rehna.. anyways I am Aarohi.." she said forwarding her hand for a handshake.

Ye kon hoti hai mujhe batane vali... Now my anger increased. But I controlled.

I ignored her and continued walking towards my car.

She started following me.

I turned towards her with annoyed expressions.

"Kya hai?" I asked in frustrated tone.

"Itna rude kyu ho? Naam kya hai tumhara" I rolled my eyes.

"Abhyudaya.. bss khush?"

She looked at me with disbelief.

"TUM ABHYUDAYA... MATLAB ABHYUDAYA MOHAN HO??? "

"Ha kyu?" I asked confusingly.
"Aur tumhe kaise pata mera pura naam?"

"Dude, I can't believe.. you know right what Gautami did to your father yet you...."

"Ek min... tumhe kaise pata ki wo mere dad hai?"

"Wo mere dad ke close friend the isliye I know him and you..."

I looked at her with a straight emotionless face.
"Okay listen.. mai kisi se bhi baat karu I don't think usse tumhe koi problem hona chahiye..."

She rolled her eyes.

"Tere baare mai I have listened a lot from your father, wo hamesha tere baare mai bolte rehte thee whenever he used to visit my dad... but tum.. tum ho ki apne papa ka hi trust break kr rhe ho uss ladki se baat krke jo bohot ghatiya aur giri hui ladki hai...."

My jaw clenched, my fist tightened. Enough is fucking enough... I can't listen anything about her.

"Ho gaya tumhara? You can go now..." I said as I looked at her with rage in my eyes.

She chuckled humourlessly.

"Itna gussa? Kaashi itna gussa tumhe uspe aata jisne..."

Before she could complete I opened my car's door and sat inside slamming the door in front of her and drove off.
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Time skips to night :

Gautami's POV

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. I could see all the imperfections in me clearly. I wish I was pretty than maybe people would have treated me better.

I looked down and sighed.

I remembered how I use to admire myself daily in front of the mirror, but now... I only see myself as a disappointment. I am such a bad person, I can literally do nothing. I am tired of myself.. Am I really that ugly?

Sadly people always go for pretty faces not pretty heart..

From self love to self doubt.. we all have been there and seriously it hurts...

No more tears were forming in my eyes. I have once again started to feel numb, extremely numb.

I looked at my scars. When you reach at that point of life where you can't feel anything, you can't cry.. you can't smile, you feel no emotions but... you want to feel something.. more than anything you want to feel pain and so you end up hurting yourself like this...

Just the way I did...

I did self harm because I failed to accept myself, I blamed myself always... More than anything I hated myself and so I wanted to end everything, end my life... 2 attempts.. but... everytime.. something inside me stopped me....

Honestly suicide is a murder.. done by whole society and people surrounded by you..

They made you feel like you are the worst person that exists...
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I took my sleeping pills and within no time sleep took over me.
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I woke up from my bed. Today I was really feeling exhausted not physically but mentally.

I had no mood to go to college today.

But I had to go.. I had no other option, I sighed.
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I didn't attended any lectures today. I sat in the library instead.

I was reading a book related to our academics.

I had no mood for anything today. I was already drained enough by my thoughts.

I was even tired to read a book.

I kept it aside, crossed my arms on the table and buried my head inside.

I heard the bell's ring.
It was break time.

I didn't had any energy to get up and go in the canteen. I'll starve myself instead.

I know starving myself is not a good decision but what else I can do..?

I was honestly completely exhausted mentally and physically both.

I was in my thoughts when I felt someone tapping my shoulders.

It was... A.. Aarohi..

[Kyu tumhe kya laga kon hoga A se? 😁]

Wait how is she here? She left the college, not only college but whole city and was shifted to london.

She came and sat in front of me. I sat straight. It was honestly akward.

"Agar ye soch rahi hai ki mai yaha pe kaise aayi toh... abhi kuch hafto pehle India shift hui.. vaapis yahi admission le liya..."

"Hmm..." I just nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Vaise... abhi konsa fake drama kiya hai jo log tumhe sympathy de rahe hai?"

I just rolled my eyes.

"Tumse matlab?" I said with an annoyed expression.

"Vaise canteen nahi aayi... khana nahi khana kya aaj?" She asked.. did it actually mattered for her..?

Like when I needed her the most, she was the one who was against me.

"Do you actually care? " I said with a sarcastic smile

"Nope.. I don't.. dekh rahi thi bss aur kitni sympathy chahiye tujhe.."

Saying that she stood up and went away.

I was broke now.. she didn't had to say that last words..

She did mean it, didn't she?

This is how people treat me. My heart shattered... even more..

This world will be honestly a better place without me.
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Only 1052 words today..
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I actually didn't had time to write today yet I somehow managed... I know aaj ke chapter mai itna kuch khaas nahi tha... but kal ka chapter accha hoga... 👍🏻
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Take care y'all, Bye <3

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