My Light, My Jimin

Chapter 16: Tests

"Okay," he whispers so low it's almost inaudible.  He sits on the edge of the couch by my legs, careful to give me more room.  "I'll stay with you."

I'll probably regret this later when I'm fully awake, but right now, it feels so peaceful to have him here, I'm finding it hard to care.  I slide my hand up his wrist, releasing him and running lazy fingers up and down his skin.  Goosebumps appear, and I continue the motion, too glossed over to ask if I'm being too much.

"Jimin."

"Hm?"

"This is. . . " he trails off.  "This is too much."

Slowly, I sit up and brush my fingers down his hands.  I hook his thumb and wrap my entire hand around it.  "Is this too much?"

His eyes flash and he leans in, closer now where I can see his outline in the shadows.  The size difference between us has never been so noticeable until now, and I'm not sure where to go next.

But he takes over, folding his hand under my palm and carefully raising it up until our hands link together, his thumb protecting my own.  It's a motion that sends a spark through me.

"What about this?"  He asks.  "Is this too much?"

My tongue peeks out and sweeps across my bottom lip.  "I don't think it's enough."

"Jimin. . . "

He pulls back, our fingers untangling, and I'm left reaching out for him.  I'm desperate to know what he tastes like.  It's not a want; it's a need, one that I've been denying ever since I first walked into his classroom.

"Please," I beg.

"Jimin, listen to yourself," Professor Min demands.  "Do you really understand what you're asking of me?  What risks you're putting both of us in?  Because once we commit, we will both hold labels that have the power to take both of us down."

He blinks fast, shaking his head.  "I can't do that to you.  It's wrong."

I let a minute of silence envelop us before I crawl forward.  I move my hand to his cheek, so slow my hand shakes.  His movements halt completely and I lock him in a heavy gaze.

"What if I want this?  If I kiss you right here, right now, would you stop me?"

His eyes falter.  Then he leans forward.  I close my eyes and wait for his lips, but feel nothing on mine.  Instead, I feel a soft kiss on the crown of my head, innocent and soft.

I tilt my head up, and that's when I feel his lips on mine.  His mouth is soft.  Softer than I expected.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I know that logically, I'm supposed to be pulling away.  I'm supposed to be screaming and kicking and running away, fighting him and calling the police for sexual assault.  But I don't.

As selfish as this might make me, it's been a while since anything has felt good in my life.  I've never been cared for like this, so carefully and with a restricting pull that makes this kiss all the more revealing to sink into.

There's one closed-lipped kiss, and once his hands run up my arms, he pulls me closer, deepening the kiss.  He makes a humming sound, and then there's an open kiss that makes a tingle surge between my body, between my legs.

He must sense this because he doesn't stop.

I've been kissed before, but the way Professor Min devours me— like he can't stand being away from me for another second, like I'm the only one in his world— shows me that maybe I've never experienced a true kiss before.

I moan into the kiss, my eyelids fluttering closed as he pulls me closer, his hands rising to tilt my head back like he needs to taste more, to get deeper.  I sink into his hold, my arms wrapping around his neck and fingers digging into his long hair.

His arm finds my waist and pulls me closer until not a single centimeter is left between us, his cock pressing against my torso, thick and large and something that I'm suddenly very desperate to feel.

Then he gasps and draws back.  "Wait. . . wait," he whispers.  I can practically hear the pain in his voice, and it breaks my heart.  "This is all a giant red flag.  I— you shouldn't have these— these feelings for me."

His eyes stare at me in horror and sorrow, and I feel like I've been doused in acid.  My eyes start to water, but I keep my voice low, steady.  "But I do care about you."

He sighs, runs a hand through his hair.  "Do you understand the gravity of what you're saying?  People will notice, and right or wrong, they will make their opinions heard."

"So?  Screw the people."

"No.  Think about this.  Think about the sentence that you just said."  He shakes his head, tightens his jaw.  "We need to stop or else you will face getting expelled.  And I can't let that happen.  We should. . . we should. . . "

I try really hard to focus on him, but my body is needy and my mind is rebelling, and I don't want to think about any repercussions.  I want to feel him on me again, and the second I lean forward and slip my tongue down his throat, he falls silent.

A small moan escapes me and he shudders at my sound.  When he takes my face in his hands, there's a slight tremble to his hold.  He looks at me for the longest time before turning away and walking out of his office.