White Orchids {BOOK 1 COMPLETED}

Chapter 38

Vrana stands up from the armchair with sheepskin over its backrest. He moves past his desk and stands in front of me, I turn my eyes away as he stares me down.

"I will help you with the wounds. In return, I expect you to tell me everything. Why you're asking about the Fox. Why you even had the dagger to begin with and what happened to it."

"And if I say no?" I ask in a whisper with my eyes focusing on the empty armchair in front of me.

"You won't be destroyed by the dagger. It won't make you lose your mind. But as I mentioned before, you're a walking beacon for us guardians, I cannot promise that the other guardians will be as merciful. I do want to help you, but I cannot do it without making sure I understand the situation at hand."

I turn back to him. "Okay."

Dealing with one guardian was better than all seven. No matter what I did, they'd likely find out what I've done sooner or later.

He looks relieved.

"Good. Now let me help you with those wounds of yours."

Vrana pushes his fingers against my forehead – underneath my bangs – and the electrical and tickling feeling comes back, and it becomes much more tangible and painful.

When he removes his hand from my skin I can no longer feel it. Not the pain, nor the holes in my mind. He healed them with a single touch.

"Does it feel better?"

"Much," I say as I touch my forehead gently.

Vrana goes back to his place behind the desk. He corrects the black and white tie and moves the two different colored eyes towards me again.

Outside of the window there's a meadow with small white flowers in a dark forest, a roedeer is grazing next to it. It looks real.

"Is it safe here?" I ask and observe the roedeer. "Can we speak undisturbed?"

"Yes, I've made this room safe. None can see or hear us. Whatever we speak of stays here."

Cerberus had asked me to meet him in the theater because it clearly wasn't safe to have that discussion inside his office, yet Vrana seemed to believe no one could hear us here. There wasn't much else to do but to trust him. Despite that, I couldn't find the guardians very trustworthy.

"Before I tell you anything I want to ask a question."

"Ask away."

"Why are you doing this? Wouldn't it be better for you as a guardian to tell the others about the dagger?"

He leans back. "I am planning to tell them. If it ends up in the wrong hands it could cause a lot of damage."

"I thought you said you weren't planning on telling anyone."

"I'll keep your involvement out of it. I won't cause fading or imprisonment onto a soul wanderer that hasn't realized the seriousness of their actions. I doubt your actions was of malicious intent. You're too young to understand the Realm. You don't know our legends nor history. No, as guardians we shall take care of you, it's our responsibility after taking you here. Sometimes we forget what our purpose really is. I will not sit here and watch as they fade you or send you away for no good reason. Don't misunderstand me – I don't think you're entirely innocent. But I'd rather watch you go free than go through the punishment meant for someone else. A young soul wanderer wouldn't just end up with the dagger on their own."

I still feel guilty, had I listened to Clover I'd never be in this situation.

"Is that an answer worthy of your question?"

I nod.

"Good. Now, no one can listen in on our conversation. Could you explain how you ended up with the dagger in your mind?"

I cannot sit idly; my fingers grasp the armrest tightly to calm my mind. I'm not sure where to begin, or if I should even tell the truth. To not lie or withhold something.

I don't. Not this time. The last time I had tried doing everything by myself I created more problems. If I had been honest with Cerberus about Clover, I wouldn't have been here. I wouldn't have accepted a deal I didn't understand or knew the consequences of.

I tell him of my worries and suspicions I've had of Clover, that Rampion had seen him at the well. That I saw Cerberus speak with Azor, and that I made a deal with him. I tell him of the Stormcoin, about the dagger and that I tried to make it fall into the white depths. The only thing I don't mention is the conversation with Cerberus in the theater. It feels wrong to speak of that. I had already lied despite promising him the truth. The very least I can do is to keep that between us.

Vrana says nothing as I pour everything out I've carried. I want to let it all so it won't feel as heavy anymore, but when I'm almost done it feels just as heavy, if not heavier.

"Azor," Vrana mumbles with a distaste, "I should have known he was involved."

He pushes a hand against his chin. "And the mirror he gave you, did you use it?"

"I did. I saw Clover speak with the Fox. About the Raven."

"And that's why you asked me about him?"

I squeeze the armrest once again. "Yes."

"I've heard that the Fox and another soul wanderer was involved with the Raven, I barely believed in the rumors. Both of them were younger soul wanderers, so I hadn't expected them to join him. Especially since The Raven left us fifty years ago, the Fox and Mint hadn't even been born in the human world yet."

"Did Clover ever tell you he spoke to him?" I ask carefully.

I already know the answer after the conversation I had with Cerberus in the theater, I'm scared to get it confirmed.

"Not that I know of, and if he did, I should have heard about it."

I move my mouth nervously, hoping for something to say.

"It could be..." He stops mid-sentence and his eyes narrow. "Hm, it's hard for us to determine if he's a threat or not just from the memory you witnessed."

"He's not a threat. He didn't follow the Fox," I try.

"While you saw him decline his offer, it would still be unwise to ignore it completely. I don't think Clover would betray us. He puts a lot of importance in loyalty. But if it is a problem, we need to take care of it right away."

Somehow, I'm not surprised that I was able to make it even worse.

"How will you deal with this then?" I ask, my voice apathetic.

I cannot find the energy to care anymore.

"A meeting. Tomorrow, and you'll have to attend, as well as Clover."

"Do I have a choice?"

"I'm afraid not."

I already knew the answer before I asked, yet hearing it creates a heavy lump in my throat.