I Love You, Man (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 13: Man-Date

"Thank you, bro," Harry smiles at the bartender, carefully navigating two very full pints of beer through the busy pub. He sets the drinks on the table in front of Louis, who is still sat complacently with his hands in his lap. "Alright, so you break it off with your ex-girlfriend..." Harry carries on their conversation from earlier.

"Yeah," Louis grabs hold of his pint, not drinking from it just yet, "and I met Eleanor the very next day."

"Oh, man," Harry looks as if he's about to cheer Louis' glass, but he casually sits back with a tilt of his head. "No laj between the vag..."

"What does that mean?" Louis asks hesitantly.

"No lag time between vaginas," Harry explains. He swings his pint around as he speaks, before taking a deep sip.

"Ha, yeah, no- I don't- I mean, I didn't plan for it to be like that, you know... with no laj... but-" Louis watches Harry swallow down a good quarter of his pint, still somehow maintaining eye contact as he does so, "it just happened."

"Ah, alright," Harry voices indifferently, lowering his drink. "How's the sex?"

Louis' eyes glaze over and he dryly licks his lips in surprise, "That's a little... private, wouldn't you say?" he chuckles a little, only out of discomfort.

"Look, it's something we think about on a second-to-second basis, and yet we're not supposed to talk about it?" Harry reconciles rather rationally, gazing at Louis with a curious expression. "Why?"

"Well... I..." Louis dumbly opens and closes his mouth, searching for an answer. "I guess no one's ever really asked me before, but it's good! Sex is good!"

"Oh, boy," Harry groans, showing a mere fraction of a cringey smirk.

"What, 'Oh, boy'?" Louis hesitates, flicking his eyes up and down the figure of the man before him.

"Well, your voice went up when you said that," Harry says.

"So?"

"It means you weren't being entirely truthful," Harry voices kindly, softer than Louis expected. "Look, I don't know this girl, so you can talk to me. What's the deal?"

"I don't know," Louis scrunches his face, giving his eyebrows a quick shrug, "I guess maybe sometimes I wish that she enjoyed... you know-"

"Getting it in the tush?" Harry offers favourably.

"...No," Louis blanches, sharing a sudden fixed glance with Harry before breaking it. "No, no, no-"

"That's my bad," the taller man awkwardly tucks his hair behind his ear.

"Oral sex," Louis clarifies.

"Oh!" Harry's voice sounds slightly bothered. "She doesn't like to... put it in the mouth?"

Louis sighs, looking down at the beer in his pint that he still hasn't taken a single sip from yet, "I can't believe I'm telling you this. I don't even know you... What-? Forget it. Look-" Louis leans forward, actively focusing on ignoring the amused expression hinting over Harry's face. "Eleanor's awesome, and we have a great-! We have a great sex life," he hisses, not wanting the neighbouring tables to overhear his confessions. "We really do... I can't- I don't even know why I said that."

"Because you're speaking honestly, alright?" Harry nods, smiling at Louis calmly. He points a finger at his still-full pint of beer. "Relax."

"What about you? Huh?" Louis doesn't touch his drink, watching Harry take yet another deep sip. It's almost like this has become some sort of challenge. Not to Harry, of course, judging from his laissez-faire type of attitude, but to Louis, that's exactly what it feels like. "What-? You, uh- you ever been married?"