The Sight (bxb)

Chapter 45 - Distant

"Is this about your mate?" He wanted to say no immediately but then changed his mind.

"Kinda. Angie thinks she has enough clues to figure out who hers is," he began. Of course, the moment he confirmed this topic, his mom immediately started to look even more serious.

"Did you want it to be you?" she asked, and his eyes almost fell out of their sockets. He had no idea how she had figured out that he liked Angie, but she couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hell no," he answered honestly. "She'd probably kill me after a week, and I'd even be happy about it." This caused his mom to chuckle.

"She probably would," she confirmed. When they were kids, his mom liked to say that Angie was like the daughter she never had. Maybe that's why she liked to overlook that she was a bad influence on Evan although she obviously knew about it.

"Then what is it? Are you afraid that she won't have time for you anymore?" she tried to guess again, and Evan debated whether to let her think that or tell her the truth.

"No. It has nothing to do with Angie." She looked confused now, and Evan wasn't surprised. But before she could say anything, he overtook her, "I'm not afraid that she won't have time for me. I'm afraid that I'll find my mate." He almost whispered the last words and automatically lowered his head as he was afraid of her reaction.

"I thought you were looking forward to it. You were looking for her, weren't you?" She did it again. She automatically assumed it was a girl again. Evan was so focused on that one word that he completely forgot about the rest.

"You don't even know it's her," he muttered before he could stop himself.

"Honey. The odds of it being him are one in a million," she said, and Evan blinked in surprise. It was the first time she had ever admitted that such a thing as same-sex couples existed. One in a million. Evan repeated in his head. Apparently, the one was Riley according to his parents and the same mistake couldn't be repeated with Evan.

"Maybe. But one is still more than zero," he protested feebly. To his surprise, his mom looked like she was really thinking about his answer.

"You want it to be him?" Even his mother's voice was quieter as if she wasn't sure if she could say it.

"I don't know. I don't care," he answered truthfully. Once he would have gone mad if she asked him something like that, but now he knew where he stood on the spectrum. If this was supposed to be his moment to come out, he decided not to use it.

There was silence between them, and Evan wasn't sure if it was good or bad. He could use this moment to open her eyes, change her mind, and explain how kicking Riley out was the worst thing they could have done. But in reality, he didn't say any of that out loud. He wanted at least once to have his parents understand how he felt without him having to spell it out for them.

"I think you're right. You still have time for a mate. You're not even 18 yet and you still have school. There's no rush." In the end, it was his mom who broke the awkward silence between them, but Evan was more than disappointed with her response. However, he did not let it be known and just nodded silently.

"Don't worry baby. Everything will be fine." Her arms reached out to her son and pulled him into a hug. Evan knew it wasn't a real hug, not the kind he wanted, but he let himself be pulled into her arms anyway and wrapped his arms around her as well.

He needed support right now, even though it wasn't real. His problems were, and he had no idea what to do. The only person he could confide in was Angie, and she had already given him her opinion. He agreed with her, but he still needed that final push to do the right thing.

"I love you, mom," it came out before he realized what he was saying. He was so engrossed in her embrace that he became her little son for a moment and forgot all the problems between them.

"I love you, too." However, his mother did not find anything strange about it and returned his confession. Evan's psyche was clearly in such a bad state that these four words brought tears to his eyes.

Their emotional embrace ended, and they separated from each other again. His mom immediately noticed the change in his face and stroked his cheek.

"Whatever you need, I'm here for you, okay?" she said in a tone that made Evan believe her for a brief moment.

"Okay," he replied in a small voice and smiled. Even though it wasn't actually true, her words still helped him. He may not have been destined for the life of his dreams, but some things worked, at least for a while. And his lesson was to enjoy these moments while they lasted. Whether it was about his parents or Kieran.

...

By Monday morning, he woke up with a sore head and an upset stomach. Even when he was hungover, he didn't feel so bad. He knew it was just stress and cursed his head for making an already difficult situation more difficult.

Looking in the mirror, he found that it was even worse. His eyes looked dull as if all life had drained from them, and under them were circles so dark that Evan was almost scared of his own reflection. He looked exactly how he felt, and he thought wryly that there was no look that better described someone who planned to break his own heart than this one.

His phone was still dead and thus turned off, but this time he plucked up the courage to plug it into the charger. At least for a while so he could take it to school with him.

He didn't plan to have breakfast today, so he immediately brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and went back to his room to get dressed. As usual, he opted for an all-black outfit. If it were a book, maybe it would be poetic. The author of his book would write that today the colour black had a different symbolism than usual or that it reflected his mood. However, Evan was not in the mood for something poetic.

He was ready for school in record time, so he decided to catch an earlier bus. He was looking out the window the whole way and almost missed the right stop. Fortunately, he was snapped out of his thoughts when all the students his age stood up and started to get off the bus. He automatically joined them and decided to get lost in their crowd.

He disconnected only at his locker, where he took the necessary things and decided to find an empty classroom where he could hide until the start of class. He didn't want to meet any of his friends, least of all a boy with blue eyes, for whom he would be willing to jump off a bridge.

Quite an irony.

He headed to the first class after the bell rang, not caring if it would get him in trouble. Today, however, at least something worked out for him, and he managed to come and sit down before the teacher entered. Aiden gave him a strange look, but since the class had started, he didn't have a chance to speak to him.

The moment the bell rang to announce the end of class, Evan was at the door, once again looking for an empty classroom. And that's exactly how his whole day went.

After the third class, his phone vibrated, and he unlocked it for the first time that day. As he had assumed, Kieran was texting him.

"Are you avoiding me?" the message said. He was. He would never have said that such a thing could happen, but it was true. He felt terrible about it, but it was still better than greeting him with a kiss in the morning and pretending everything was fine, only to have it no longer fine that afternoon. He may have been mean, but not cruel. At least he hoped.

Evan thought about ignoring his message but eventually decided to reply.

"Can we talk after school?" He hit send before he could think twice. He knew exactly how this message sounded, and the worst part was, that it was true. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he did his best to suppress them. He was the one who made this decision, he had no right to grieve. He had to repeat that sentence in his head three more times before he successfully managed to calm down.

His phone vibrated again, and he took one look at the screen to confirm that Kieran agreed without hesitation. Of course, he agreed. He would give Evan his all if he could.

"I love you," he whispered almost inaudibly. He had never told him, and now he couldn't anymore. And maybe it was better that way.