KILLER. 🩸

VEINTISEIS

"It's just sex Scarlet, nothing more, nothing less."

"No Aries."  His dark eyebrow arched mischievously and his whole beautifully sculpted face buzzed me with euphoria. "You're not contracted to protect me anymore. Back there you shoved a gun into my spine to force me into complying with what you wanted. You can't let me go but you can't keep me. So, where do I stand?"

"Will I kill you?" The tension between us crackled and I nodded my head slowly waiting for his answer. "I don't know, maybe."

"That's not an answer." Frustration filled me up and Aries laughed. "Should I be scared of you?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"Yes. I am absolutely terrified of you, I'm scared of what you're capable of. I'm scared about what you've done. I'm scared about what you might do next."

"It's smart to be scared. Keeping yourself on guard leaves less room for surprises."

"Why can't you just answer a simple question?" I banged my fist against my head even though he was well and truly giving me a headache.

"Because the answer is not simple." He licked his lips and restarted the car, turning back onto the road and continuing his drive in silence.

I hated those men so closed off from their own feelings. They don't know how to communicate and navigating emotions is awkward for them. Yet, for some ungodly reason, those were the kind of men I was drawn to.

There was something magnetic about Aries, everything he did drew me in. The roll of his tongue with the pronunciation of his words, the smoothness of his strong hands gripping the steering wheel, down to the concentration on his face. He had soft yet handsome features and a brutish personality.

I wasn't falling for him, I don't think I could ever grow feelings for a man capable of such things but I did want to fuck him. Again and again and again. What I felt for Aries was raw, undeniable sexual attraction.

"I know it was always just sex by the way." I found myself admitting. "Don't worry, I won't ever confuse us hooking up for it meaning something more. You're not exactly what I look for in a lifetime partner."

"No kidding hermosa, I'm no small dick Sean."

I burst out laughing which surprised me given the situation.

"Sean isn't even someone I found myself attracted to, not his his personality or his looks. He never really was my type." I smiled sadly, I wasted so much time on Sean, trapped, manipulated and feared into staying.

"I was just young and impressionable. He was older and back then, I thought I was in love. Furthermore, I thought he loved me. Damn, I thought he loved me so much and that's why he controlled me. He told me he only ever wanted the best for men. I wore what he suggested, I lost my friends my family because he controlled who I spoke too. He got angry, because he cared so much."

I faced out of the window, his death was bittersweet and weighing heavily on my mind. I realised in the end I deserved more, Sean didn't love me. That's not what love is supposed to look like.

"I want someone kind and family oriented, you know those types of men who not only want kids but they thrive in fatherhood. They coach the little league and aren't afraid to get into the moon bounce and become a target. I want a man who will talk to me for hours about his feelings and emotions, really let me into his heart freely. I want someone kind and selfless, who aims only to protect me and never hurt me, not physically or emotionally."

"Sounds like a unicorn."

"No he doesn't, I'm not asking for much. I know love is tricky, I will get hurt and upset sometimes but I want someone who can recognise that, apologise for it and talk it through. Basically, I want someone emotionally present." He ran his fingers over his facial hair and kept his eyes on the road, I doubt he even cared enough to listen. "How about you, do you want to settle down with a nice girl, or guy whatever?"