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Do you know how hard is it to not be here when you really are?

I'm here but I'm really not.

Not to others...of course.

Even if someone dies in front of me...I can't do anything but stare.

Just stare.

Watch them until their last breath.

I can't unsee all the horrors, can I?

I can't erase my memories.

If I help...I'll lose the bit of freedom I have.

Though, I did help...

I couldn't take it.

I knew she was dying.

Her death was happening faster than she could realize.

Although, I only saw her from the back, I wanted her to live for a few minutes more.

At least, I let her see something beautiful before she died.

I gave her a few minutes.

Sometimes, a few minutes could be longer than anyone can think.

Sometimes, I wish I was anywhere but here...

I wished I just vanished...

But it's impossible now.

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