Boundaries

Chapter 26

"I swear I put it here a minute ago." Dylan mumbles.

"Move your massive ham hands, I can't see anything."

Dylan acts immediately, on impulse, his large hands sprawling limply over the papers.

Orion glances up, glaring at the innocent look on Dylan's face. His eyes narrow as he pinches the back of Dylan's hand, batting them away.

"Good to know that some things never change. You're still just as annoying." Orion mutters, actively ignoring the smirk on Dylan's lips.

"And you're still just as uptight." Dylan says.

Orion shakes his head, pressing his lips firmly together as he keeps his sights set on the desk in front of him.

"I am not uptight, I'm simply not a child." He hisses.

"What was your excuse when you were a child, then?" Dylan asks antagonistically.

Their hands find the document at the same time, their fingers brushing against each other.

When Dylan glances up, he finds their faces much closer together than he had imagined, and his heart stutters in his chest. Orion's irritation melts away at the soft, playful look in Dylan's eyes.

He hates it, bickering with Dylan, but he also loves it. Lives for it. The Bluewood Alpha makes him tense and irritated, crawling beneath his skin in a way no one else can and it's so deliciously familiar. It makes him feel alive. It transports him back to the days of his youth, his only happy memories, and to the boy that he loves more than anything in the world. This boy, this man.

He leans in, unable to resist as his hand cups Dylan's jaw. Their lips brush together softly at first, tentative before melting into something passionate and heated. Orion manoeuvres around the desk, pressing Dylan against the bookcase behind him as his hands mould against the bulge of Dylan's biceps, the firm curve of his hip. They gasp against each others mouths, barely taking the time to breath before coming back for more.

But when Orion's hands begin to unbutton the top buttons of Dylan's shirt, Dylan pulls away violently. His hands push against Orion's chest and he stumbles back, hitting the desk behind him. Dylan's chest heaves as his hands rake through his hair, tugging viciously against the strands.

It's like a nightmare, happening over and over again. That awful, all consuming happiness that comes with seeing Orion, kissing Orion, being with Orion, that never lasts because it isn't real. It isn't permanent, it's all fake, and it happens time and time again.

"Dylan?" Orion says.

The Bluewood Alpha shakes his head minutely.

"Shut up." He utters.

Orion leans forwards, his hand reaching out when Dylan flinches back.

"Stop. Just, stop, okay?" Dylan hisses.

"I can't help it, I just...it feels right." Orion murmurs.

Dylan sucks his teeth, nodding bitterly.

"That's such bullshit, Orion. You're lonely and you're taking advantage of me when it's convenient for you, and you want to know the worst part? I let you do it." Dylan says, laughing cynically to himself.

Orion winces, shaking his head.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Orion says darkly.

"Yes, I do. You don't think I'm lonely too? But I can't have what I want. I love you, I want a life with you, a future with you. I want your faults, your vices, your talents, all of it. I want you, and I can't have you."

Dylan's voice is low and controlled, but he might as well be screaming, and it rocks Orion to the core.

"Every time you do this, it's hurting me. You're teasing me, showing me everything I can't have, and it hurts, Orion. So please, just stop."

Dylan's voice is soft now, his eyes pleading as he drops every facade. And to Orion's dismay, he sees the hurt in his soulmates face, plain as day. It makes him sick. His breath is still caught, somewhere between his lungs and his mouth and he can't fathom what to say, because his brain is still stuck on those three words.

I love you.

They'd never said that to each other, not once, and although he had felt it many times, he's never heard the words. Dylan loves him.

"I lo-..."

"Shut up." Dylan hisses.

Orion frowns.

"Don't you dare say that to me. Not now." Dylan adds, pointing at him.

Orion bites his lip, his chest aching. He just can't get it right, he can never get it right when it comes to Dylan, to the pack, to anything. He's never felt like such a failure. That awful, reptilian voice hisses in Orion's mind once more, flirting with the deliciously familiar, ingrained self-hatred running through his veins.

"I'm sorry." He says softly and Dylan sighs heavily.

"You're a good Alpha, Ry." Dylan says.

And as quick as it came, that awful voice disappears again.

Orion shakes his head, frowning to himself. He doesn't deserve to hear that, not now, not from his mate. He hates that Dylan always seems to know what Orion needs to hear, and that he says it, regardless of what it might be doing to him.

"But a shit mate." He says.

His voice sounds hollow.

Dylan laughs, a surprisingly chipper sound.

"Yeah, you are a pretty rubbish mate." He says fondly and Orion smiles properly.

Dylan picks up the sheet of paper that Orion had come in for and hands it to him, taking great pains to keep his hands away from Orion's.

The Ironhill Alpha tries not to take it personally.

"Get out of my office." Dylan says, but there's no malice in his tone as he shoos his mate away.

He's already scanning a new document, his hair falling into his eyes as he frowns.

Orion leaves, closing the door softly behind him, wishing his feelings felt a little less like a turbulent ocean inside his chest.

_

A/N

Sorry for the late update! I started a new job today and I am frazzled...

Let me know what you think :) 

-F