When All is Lost

Chapter 46

"This isn't the way." I refused to believe that her way of being was any kind of solution.

"My son starved to death. He gave up every last bit of food he had so the others could live just a little longer and I had to watch him wither away into nothing. He died in my arms in this house. I protect these people from that."

Gertie's hard shell cracked for a moment and I could see the intensity of her grief. She had clearly made a promise to never let something like what happened to her son happen again. It reminded me of the promise I'd made to myself after Paula had died. I never wanted another member of my group to ever be cold again.

A small feeling of empathy burned in my chest.

"My group will leave first thing in the morning." It was all I could offer her. I wouldn't humiliate her further for her choices, even if she had spent the entirety of our time together shaming me for mine. I wanted my group safe and away from hers.

Gertie almost looked a little relieved. "Good."

"We don't want any of your food."

"I don't recall offering you any," she answered with a quirked brow.

It was true that they never had. I'd always thought that had been because they didn't want to waste resources on outsiders, but now I knew that there was more to it. With their group's outward appearance of stability and decency, I had never even thought to second guess their methods.

"And I want the map you promised me," I told her. "Tonight."

"Alright, I'll have someone bring it right over."

I nodded. My stomach was still tied up in knots and I couldn't get the images of the man's butchered body out of my mind, but strangely enough, I still found myself trusting Gertie at her word. I didn't believe we were in any imminent danger even after my discovery. Gertie and I simply would never see eye-to-eye on most things. What I had to protect my group from was the reality of what her group did.

They won't ever have to face this.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, looking her dead in the eye. "I'm taking the teens with me."

---

"You okay?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin at Prisha's voice by my side. I wasn't even sure when she'd joined me in my usual spot on the stall's floor. Half the room had gone to sleep and I'd been rubbing my exhausted, aching eyes, taking a break from studying the map. I hadn't even heard her approach.

"I'm fine," I told her. In truth, I was still shaken even hours after my discovery. My exhaustion had also developed into a throbbing headache that pounded so hard I could almost feel it in my teeth.

"You should get some sleep," Prisha gently pushed. "I can take over checking our routes on the map if you'd like."

I rubbed at my aching temple and let my eyes wander past Prisha. It was only then that I noticed that Ian was carefully watching the two of us from the other side of the stall. "Did Ian send you over?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She shrugged a little, biting at her thumbnail a little before lowering her hand. "Ray's busy chatting up the new guard."

I followed her gaze to where Ray sat by the beautiful, young woman who'd taken over Big Al's duty. "He's been at that for a while. I hope he's not getting too attached."

"I wouldn't worry about it, I think he's just looking for some fun."

But they eat people.

My stomach rolled and I practically tossed the map at Prisha, coming to the realization that it was definitely time for me to shut my eyes and sleep. "I doubt he'll have time for that – we're leaving as soon as we finish breakfast."