One Last Time (COMPLETED)

Never Really Over

"Yeah, of course. Let's go to the bench over there." he stayed at my side, hands buried deep in the pockets of his dark jeans all the way to the playground. Once I locked the stroller, I unbuckled Mickey and gently set her in his expectant arms. He stared down at her for a while, expression unreadable, before he brushed his knuckle across her porcelain like skin. Her hand caught his index finger and wrapped around it, her gaze meeting his own.

Maybe it was the emotional experience or maybe it was that all my own emotions started to overwhelm me, but tears sprung to my eyes and fell steadily and silently as I watched the interaction. Once he was able to pull himself back into reality, he glanced in my direction then did a double take when he saw I was crying. "You good?"

"Yeah, fine." I said quickly, swiping my shirt sleeve under my eyes. "I just. . . just in my feelings I guess."

He cocked his head a fraction as his eyes roamed me. "You look so much like her."

"We're twins, that's kinda how it works."

"Do you, like, want a hug or something?" he sounded so awkward, but the look in his eyes was genuine. Part of me knew he needed it as much as I did, though he'd never admit it aloud. Setting his daughter carefully back into the stroller, he turned and slowly touched his hands to my shoulders before fully pressing me against him. It was a bit awkward at first, as I was used to being held captive in Park and Tanner's large arms and pressed against their broad chests. Nixon wasn't much taller than me, and was about as skinny. But once I got over the initial shock, I rested my head against him. There was silence, but the longer it dragged on, the tighter he held me.

"You think she's happy?" he whispered, barely audible. "Wherever she is? Do you think she's happier?"

The question caught me off guard and I stood processing it for a while before I eventually said, "I do. Maya was a free spirit, and maybe she was never meant for this world. Wherever she is, I'm sure she's no longer in pain or suffering and is happy."

"I. . . I never meant to hurt her. Or you that night, Mia. I just. . . the last I remember she was showing me a picture of newborns and the next there you were, dressed like she'd be and I was drunk. I. . ."

"I get it, Nixon." I interrupted. "I'm not excusing what you did because it was wrong, but I understand why you did it. Just like. . . just like as sickening and warped it is, I can understand why in Darren's mind he thought he was helping everyone by doing what he did."

**

By the time I wandered back into Tanner's room, I found him standing at the foot of his bed, staring down at the comforter with a blank expression. "Where'd you go this afternoon?"

"Yeah, we're not doing this." I started to turn on my heel, but with his long legs, he was at my side in two quick strides and caught my arm. "Tanner, I'm not doing this right now. You don't own me. Nor is it unsafe for me to be out alone anymore."

Well, that wasn't entirely true, but I wasn't going to explain myself further.

"Mia, I'm not trying to be some overprotective, possessive boyfriend. I'm genuinely concerned where my girlfriend and those babies were for three hours."

"I met Nixon at the park." I decided to just cut to what it was he wanted to hear. If he was looking like this and questioning me, he had a good idea already. "He wanted to see the kids."

Tanner didn't budge, but eyed me warily. "You think that was a good idea?"

"I think that he deserves a chance to father his children, yes." I answered. "Yes, he hurt me at the party, and no I'm not defending or justifying what he did, but these are his kids Tanner. Think about it if they truly were yours. If you'd had sex with Maya that night and gotten her pregnant and she didn't tell you. Then lied about not knowing who the father was."

He considered my words for a minute before he shrugged. "I just. . . if you hurts you or either of those kids, I'll kill him."

"He won't." not with the way he was looking at Mickey. "He said he wants to try, to be a part of their life, I mean. He said he doesn't want custody or anything, but wants to be able to see them whenever he wants to. Which means you and Park need to cool it, okay? He has the right until he doesn't."

"Okay." Tanner nodded slowly. "Parker and Chan are at a party tonight."

I raised a brow, curiously asking, "And you didn't join them?"

He closed the distance between us with a smirk. "I don't need to do all that childish shit anymore. I have my girl. I have my family."

My family. Though it was the truth, it was a bit strange hearing it out of his mouth. Because here he was, a twenty-year-old man accepting the responsibility of fathering not just one kid, but two, that weren't even mine. Something Chandler had said in the car a couple weeks ago echoed through my head.

"That man loves you. You clearly aren't familiar with how far a man is willing to go for a girl he loves."

I extended my hand and touched it to Tanner's cheek and the words flowed out before I could stop them. "I'm so sorry. For all of it. The rejection, the rude remarks, treating you like crap. For you having to deal with this entire mess. You didn't deserve it."

He brushed his thumb along my bottom lip. "I knew it wasn't personal, Mia. You were in your sisters shadow, you saw first hand what happened to her when she would seek out men like me and didn't want to fall victim to the same shit. Though, I wish you would have given me just one minute of your time to prove to you I wasn't who you thought I was. I wish every day this wasn't how things would have worked out, but I can't say that I don't love that you're finally here, in my arms, in my bed, in my life. I love you, Mia."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. "I love you too."

He kissed me softly, but when he pulled away, for a moment I was transported back to our high school cafeteria Sophomore year. It was the first time I had suspected that there was more than just harmless flirting on Tanner's side, as one of his teammates was trying to pick up on me and he snuck up from behind, wrapping his arms around me from behind and hugging me to his chest. He hadn't sounded assertive or aggressive, but the look in his eyes as he stared his teammate in the eyes was anything but sweet.

When I laid my head against him again and turned my eyes to the nightstand, my vision blurred slightly upon seeing the photo he'd framed and set behind his alarm clock. It was the four of us at a carnival a few years ago. Maya was leaning into Parker, her arm looped through his as he gazed straight passed her and at me, a smile lighting his face and blue eyes. I was hoisted on Tanner's shoulders, one of my arms resting against his head, the other holding a large slushie and sipping on it as I winked down at my sister. Shae had taken the picture and it had forever been one of my favorites, now more than ever.

The smile that was on her face was a rarity, but it would be forever how I remembered by sister. One day I would show Michaela and Max this photo, and hundreds of others, and I'd tell them about their sweet, eccentric mother who would have done anything if it meant keeping them safe. I would sit them down when ready and tell them the story of her death and what Darren had done. For now, I would love these kids with everything in me; they were my family. And I never turned my back on my family. 

****AN*********

I will be going back in the near future and editing and expanding this book to add more and make it longer. I am happy with it all together but would love for it to be more detailed etc. The last chapter will be posted shortly.