My dad's ringtone echoed from the kitchen,
"Hello?" He answered. "Yes this is he....no I'm not.....um yeah is something wrong sir?" His last question caused my body to sit up in the chair, now attentively listening. I peeked my head around as my father spoke in a voice of concern,
"Yeah she is....alright." He sighed and with that he'd fled the kitchen.
My face furrowed as I turned back around and looked at Hunter. Apparently she'd heard everything as well given her posture mirrored mine.
"What was that about?" I asked her, rhetorically. She shrugged,
"No clue."
Five minutes later, my father returned with a completely different attitude. Almost as if his hopeful and bubbly spirit had been drained from him. It worried me to no end. The sudden change my father exhibited after that phone call could've only meant one thing. I just prayed to God it wasn't who I thought it was.
But apparently, it was no use. The damage was already done.
~~~~~~~~
"I didn't even get to say goodbye Sade," my voice croaked as I spoke against my girlfriend's chest.
"I know Honeybee, I know. I'm so sorry," she cooed before her lips met my forehead, taking their time before pulling back.
Sade had one hand on my head and the other around my body, holding me close. The feeling of her fingers massaging my scalp gave me a sense of calmness and comfort I didn't know I needed. Rocking me gently as we sat upright in my bed, she just listened while I spoke whatever came to mind. By now, I couldn't do anything but let my girlfriend hold me. I've screamed, thrown things, destroyed my room, cried til my voice was gone, and cursed every word in the book. Once hearing Sade's voice and practically ripping my door off its hinges to find her on the other side, I couldn't do anything but lose my balance in her arms.
It was around midnight, and now I wanted to do nothing but sleep. Feeling myself doze off, I snuggled some more into Sade's chest. Her hold onto me only grew tighter as I did so.
"You need anything before you go to sleep? Water, snacks, more blankets? You need to change?" My head shook against her chest,
"No Emerald, I'm okay. Thank you."
With a sigh, she pecked my forehead again,
"Of course baby..."
I tightened my hold around her waist, and with that I was out.
~ The Next Day ~
Memories of my mother swarmed my head, disrupting my sleep.
"Now Lauren you know now matter how old you get, you'll always be mama's princess," she said to me, at age thirteen, the day we went out for ice cream. I hadn't seen her for over a year before then. "Any cute boys in Germany? I'd hate to come kick the mess out of someone's son all the way from Afghanistan," she told me over the phone one day. "Now Lauren, you know I love your father but sometimes his whiteness just prevents him from being able to do certain things. Dancing for example." I laughed at her comment as we watched him and my aunt dance in the living room on Christmas Day. That was two years ago. It was the last Christmas I had, and will ever have with my mom. "I love you honey, I'll see you soon alright?" No, not alright.
Remnants of pain was all I could feel right now. Not the physical kind or even the mental kind, I don't think. This pain, I felt in my core, in my soul. It was a kind of pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. A quiet sob arose from the pit of my stomach as I slept, or at least tried to. Even though I hardly saw my mom in person throughout my life, it didn't make her death hurt any less. If anything, it hurts more.
Chapter 21
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